Stitch it Together
by Milkshake Money
Summary: Like a dress, a relationship must be built with care; stitch by stitch. Petra struggles with her hidden affections for her captain. Levi struggles with himself. Through interactions and acts of kindness, they begin to weave a foundation towards friendship... and more. Multi-chapter fic. Rated T for language!
1. Stitches

**~STITCH IT TOGETHER~**

**Following Levi's Special Ops squad long before the events of Trost... four soldiers determined to make a difference in humanity's fate. Four hearts beating as one; four sets of paired blades paving a future for humanity with the blood of titans.**

**And to lead them, one man of unprecedented skill, the living legend known as Humanity's Strongest Soldier.**

**But beneath the guts and glory, these five are only human after all. Most people wouldn't necessarily count the ruthless, expressionless Lance Corporal Levi in that category, however...**

**Petra Ral is determined to prove that notion wrong.**

* * *

**PROLOGUE: Stitches**

* * *

"It's okay… shh… that's a good girl," the honey-blonde haired soldier crooned, her hand outstretched with an offering. With a resigned snort, the black beast accepted the carrot, and the soldier.

Petra liked her captain's horse, she decided as she brushed the dark mare named Crasher. The powerful thoroughbred was calm and graceful, but fierce when the situation called for it, much like her owner. She was, however, rather bull-headed towards most people and had an odd propensity towards crashing into things just to give a rider she didn't like a hard time. Even as a horse, she didn't take shit from anyone... also like her owner, Petra thought behind an amused smile.

The day had been a rather routine one at the Survey Corps headquarters; hours of training followed by hours of chores. The horses needed to get their new shoes put in today, and Petra had volunteered for the task. A troubling lack of new recruits to do the busy work meant that even the elite squads had to take shifts doing some of the manual labor. Erd, Gunther, and Auruo had all gotten stuck with mucking out stalls for the afternoon, but Petra's extended knowledge of horse care had blessed her with a better job to do.

Crasher was the last horse left that still needed to receive the new horseshoes. Petra led her out of her stall and tied her down the middle of the barn hall. She first removed the old shoes, then began picking out the trapped dirt from the hooves with the hoofpick. She was just finishing the second leg when her ears picked up soft footsteps behind her.

Petra turned around to see her captain, standing by the doorway with his arms crossed, his bored eyes staring vaguely at his horse. His raven-colored hair framed his face neatly, with his signature undercut, cravat, and scouting legion jacket. Although he was small of stature, he was undeniably large of presence.

"Captain! Hi, umm," the honey-haired girl fidgeted awkwardly for a moment, not sure whether or not to salute. But something about his stance looked more relaxed than usual, so she decided it probably wasn't necessary. Instead she gave a warm smile. "What brings you here?"

"I finished all my work early, and shitty-glasses took it as an invitation to talk my ear off about titans," Levi began, plopping down on the bench against the wall, "I decided I'd rather help my squad in the stables than listen to her incessant chatter. But like hell if I'd ever help those idiots scoop out heaping piles of horse shit. So here I am with you, Petra..." he trailed off, rubbing his temple between his thumb and pointer finger.

Petra nodded, noting that he didn't really look to have any intention of getting up to help her. More likely he had just come here to get some peace and quiet. She doubted he realized that replacing horseshoes required hammering in a lot of nails.

She got back to work cleaning the rest of Crasher's hooves, allowing her captain to have at least some quiet time. His horse, like everything else he owned, was always kept in pristine condition, so the cleaning didn't take long. She felt his eyes on her as she worked.

After nailing the first front shoe in, she looked up to see Levi rubbing his temple again.

"Captain, would you like to help me nail these in? It's always easier with two people," Petra said softly, amber eyes looking him over kindly.

The Lance Corporal nodded, getting up rather reluctantly, and she almost felt bad for not just letting him sit and rest. She waved the slight regret off as he walked over to stand in front of her.

"Tell me what to do, " he said, patting the black mare softly on her muscled neck. She nickered at her owner in response.

"Just pick up her foot and hold it up for me as I fit the shoe, then I'll hammer it in," Petra said. She peeled her gaze away from his tired face, his eyes roaming the well-groomed mare approvingly. Those icy-gray eyes of his were almost too easy to get sucked into at times; especially in the rare moments when the intensity of his face dropped to reveal a more human side of the inhuman titan slayer. She found him infinitely fascinating in this way; she swore she could watch him all day if not for the fact that it would hardly be appropriate. She was his subordinate, after all.

Levi trailed his fingers down Crasher's front leg, leaning his shoulder against the mare's to shift her weight to her other side. He bent over as she lifted her hoof, his hands supporting it.

Petra went about nailing the shoe in as Levi held everything in place patiently, silently observing the procedure. Her fingers worked quickly with deft precision. As they worked on and made their way to nailing the other shoes, she became more at ease with his close proximity, and they fell into wordless, synchronized teamwork.

As she was hammering in the finishing nail on the last horseshoe, her hand slipped and she caught a sharp edge of the shoe, slicing deeply into her right-hand palm.

"Ah!" she yanked her hand away, blood dripping down to her wrist. The pain was sharp, but it was eclipsed by her imminent embarrassment in front of her captain.

"Shit, Petra," Levi frowned, setting the hoof down and pulling out a handkerchief. "Here," he gently took her hand and wrapped it in the white cloth, permanently dying it red with her blood. His expression looked slightly more tired than before, brow low over sunken gray eyes.

Petra felt him apply pressure to her hand, and she imagined her face as a deep shade of red by now; she was definitely flustered at this point.

"I-it's ok, captain! It's just a cut…"

"Bullshit. You're bleeding like a fucking fountain," he grumbled, squeezing her palm harder with both of his thumbs, enveloping the rest of her hand in his own warm hands. "Tch... you're gonna need stitches or something."

Levi dropped one of his hands, but continued to apply pressure with the other.

"Come on, let's get out of this dirty place and take care of your hand." He turned away, tugging on her hand for her to follow him out.

_Captain Levi… holding my hand?_ Petra thought as she followed her captain's lead out of the stables into the dark night. She knew it definitely wasn't like that, and that he was just helping her to stop the bleeding, but it still made her nervous. She hated how it was making her blush like some silly wall Sina maiden, and was thankful for the darkness that would hopefully conceal the shade of her face. It was ironic how his stone-cold glares never fazed her but a simple kind gesture got her all flustered. Perhaps because it was unexpected; she was actually rather surprised he hadn't called her an idiot yet for accidentally cutting herself.

Luckily they didn't encounter anyone on the short walk to Levi's office; it was just around supper time so everyone who had finished their chores and training was probably in the mess hall eating. Levi was still gripping her hand, and she felt more at ease with it now. It felt nice, truthfully, and she fought the urge to curl her fingers and grip his own hand in return just for the hell of it; she almost laughed at the thought of how ridiculous that would be. She wondered idly what kind of unamused glare that would earn her.

"Sir, do you think someone will put Crasher back in her stall?" Petra said as they made their way down the hall, remembering how they had left the mare tied up in the middle.

"Don't worry about it," Levi replied evenly. He pushed the door into his office and led her in, closing the door behind them. He lifted the bloodied handkerchief from her hand, his sunken eyes seeming pleased to find the bleeding mostly stopped.

He handed her a dampened cloth. "Clean the wound, Petra," he ordered, walking back to his desk to retrieve something.

She wiped away the dried blood on her hand and wrist, cringing at the sting as she passed it over the open cut. By the desk she heard Levi rummaging for something and wondered what it might be.

He found what he was looking for and placed it on the desk, then walked back over to her. He looked from her to the desk, seemingly debating something in his head.

"Oi… I can stitch you up myself, but I'll be honest here: I've only done this once before. If you're uncomfortable with me doing it, you can probably get the legion medics to take care of it. It will take much longer for them though, as they always have a long queue of injuries to tend to."

"You can do it, captain. I trust you," Petra affirmed with a bright smile, meeting his sunken gray eyes with her own.

"Sit up here then," Levi said, patting the clean top of his desk.

Petra hesitated a moment. Sitting... on his desk? It would probably put her in the best position for him to work on her hand, she guessed. She wondered vaguely if he had ever let anyone else sit atop his desk as she scooched herself onto the wooden surface.

He reached over to retrieve a thin, translucent pair of gloves and slipped them on; the same kind he used for cleaning; to which Petra stifled a giggle - it was so like him to ensure the cleanliness of every situation.

He threaded a needle with twine then struck a match, holding the tiny flame to the needle point.

"You taught me how to shoe a horse today. Now I'll teach you how to stitch a wound," Levi low voice came calmly as he shook out the match and tossed it into a cup of water.

"Yes, sir," Petra said. She was no stranger to receiving stitches - she had acquired more than a few scars of varying length throughout her years in the legion - but she had never really paid attention to the procedure. Levi's steady hands were easy to watch, though she winced as the hot needle pierced her skin at first. He was holding her hand steady, palm up, with his left hand while his right wielded the threaded needle. He was really close to her, his hip against her knee, and she could smell his subtle scent; pine and soap. The man really did have cleanliness down to the finest details.

It took a while for him to sew up the whole wound, but his demeanor remained remarkably calm throughout. If he hadn't told her before that it was only his second time giving stitches, Petra would never have guessed. He was a natural; as if he were one of those medics who sewed people up every day.

After tying the last knot, he cleaned her hand again with the cool damp cloth, then wrapped it thinly in bandage. She glanced up at him briefly, almost smiling at his low-brow face of concentration. He managed to look good no matter what he was doing ...

Petra felt the comforting warmth of his hands leave hers as he drew back to remove the gloves. She looked down, admiring his neat handiwork.

"Thank you, captain," she said with another bright smile. She wished she could say something more to him, or have a real conversation, but he was tired and her superior and so utterly unreachable...

Levi said nothing, but instead opened the door and flicked the lights off. "You should go get supper with the other soldiers. Hopefully those brats haven't eaten your rations for you by now... tch... shitty food anyway..." he trailed off.

"Ohh.. you're not going to eat anything, captain? Do you want me to bring you something?" She asked, catching up to match his pace beside him down the hall.

"I'm not hungry. I'm fucking tired, that's what I am," he stopped beside the staircase and turned to face her, his hands tugging at his cravat to loosen it. "Get enough rest, too. Tomorrow we resume our training schedule at first light ."

They made eye contact briefly as she nodded, not failing to notice his bored gray eyes looking a bit glazed over. _Wow, he really is quite tired..._ she thought.

He turned his back to her and proceeded up the stairs, and Petra's lips turned to a small smile as she watched his small form moving away. He had such nice shoulders when he walked away, small but strong…

"Good night!" She called as she turned to walk to the mess hall. Although she received no response, she knew he had heard. His brash attitude was nothing new; she was used to it and unfazed. Among the Special Operations squad, they had all come to respect their captain deeply; from his meticulous cleaning habits to his blunt, standoffish manner to the subtle way when, at rare moments, he showed infinite compassion for his comrades. It made him who he was, and Petra admired all of him.

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**Thanks for reading!**

**This story will update roughly twice a month... stay tuned all you Rivetra/SNK fans :)**


	2. One candle

_NOTE: This story is written in alternating POV's between Levi/Petra. This chapter is from Levi's point of view. It should be pretty easy to tell who is narrating the chapter within the first few lines._

* * *

**CH 2: One Candle**

**… Even the strongest grow weary at times, weighed down by the burdens of the past and the present.**

* * *

Erd. Gunther. Auruo. Petra.

Lance Corporal Levi's handpicked subordinates were all legends in their own right among the Survey Corps. Their impressive kill counts were common knowledge, especially to star-struck rookies, and they were widely respected among their comrades.

To Levi, however, they were much more than that. They were his proteges, his star pupils - the excellent soldiers that he had chosen and had made them _better. _They were also, at times, complete idiots, and he never failed to point the fact out at such incidences. The four soldiers had received more verbal abuse from Levi than anyone else in the legion, and it had made them all the stronger.

Even Petra, despite Hanji's teasing that he took it easy on her. It was true that he was less prone to being shitty to her during after hours; somehow her personality seemed to suppress that side of him. But during training, he made sure he was every bit as much of a hard-ass on her as he was on the other three.

It was after one particularly brutal training day that he noticed her laying still on the spot she had fallen after a sparring match, even as her comrades left to go shower up. Her chest rose and fell quickly, still winded, but her eyes looked oddly pensive as she glanced up.

Levi followed her gaze to the pastel sunset, finding nothing of interest up there.

"Did Gunther knock you so hard that you've gone soft in the head? Or do you just enjoy laying in filth?" He deadpanned, positioning himself to stand above her in her field of vision.

"Neither," Petra giggled, then jumped upright suddenly. "Ah! I mean, Captain, sir, forgive my informality," she smiled sheepishly.

The dark-haired corporal made no response but to extend a hand to her, which she accepted and stood up.

"Thank you, captain, it's just that today, I umm," she hesitated for a second, looking as if she were about to tell him something meaningful. The look faded, as if she made a snap decision to talk about something else instead. "I'm grateful for all the pointers you gave me today. I will do my very best to make sure you haven't wasted your breath on me, captain," she affirmed with her signature soft smile.

"I see," Levi said, fighting a frown. On one hand, it was good to see her in her normal spirits; he had berated her fairly hard for repeatedly making the same mistake in sparring matches, and she was wise enough not to take any of this personally. Clearly, that wasn't what was on her mind though; but her formality with him prevented her from confiding in him.

_Good. That's how it should be, _he told himself, waving the thought off. The soldier before him was sweaty, with smudges of dirt on her face and honey hair in disarray. _You look disgusting, get your sorry ass in the shower, _is what he would have said to any other soldier in her place, but somehow, with Petra, those weren't the words that came to his lips.

"Make sure you're not filthy before tomorrow, Ral," was his only sentiment as he retreated.

It wasn't until later in that night that he would learn the meaning of the pensive look in her honey eyes or the somber edge to her voice.

* * *

The night was a quiet one at HQ; everyone was too tired from the day's hard work to be hanging around outside after hours.

Except for Levi. Despite the intensive training, he was still restless. He didn't know where his energy was coming from, but he felt so damn wound up. It was funny how paperwork and meetings never failed to utterly exhaust him, but long hours of physical exertion seemed to fuel his energy.

It was around supper time, but Levi was skipping the meal today. He was heading to the stables; he had told Erwin he was going to town for a bit to buy more ink, but truthfully he was going to get himself some bottles of hard liquor. His private stash in his room had run out, and whiskey was the only thing that could help him sleep when he got into his restless mode. Which was increasingly often.

The autumn air was chill, but not yet cold, though the wind was persistent in ripping through his green cloak. He found Crasher also pacing restlessly in her stall. Funny, that of all people, a horse seemed to understand him best, as if she immediately picked up on his vibes.

He saddled her up and rode off to town. The scouting legion was inside wall Rose for now, stationed in a refurbished castle near the Trost district to await the approval of an upcoming expedition in a few weeks. It was only a short ride to the bustling town bordering the wall.

He tied the mare up at a post near the liquor store on the outskirts of town. Alcohol was frowned upon in the military, but by no means forbidden. It was only discouraged to prevent soldiers from becoming raging alcoholics to cope with the horrors they have witnessed. Drinking wasn't a coping mechanism for Levi though, just a means to get some damn sleep.

The liquor store looked run down and dingy from the outside; Levi scoffed as his hand turned the grimy doorknob, and he made a mental note to wash his hands very well when he next got the chance.

Inside was surprisingly clean, with tidy shelves of bottles lining the perimeter. His sunken gray eyes roamed the store approvingly as he went to a nearby aisle to select his whiskey.

_Fuck..._ he thought in mild annoyance as he noticed they were sold out of his favorite brand. The only bottles left were of the cheap shitty brand, and a mystery bottle in the shade at the very back of the shelf. He sighed and reached back for the lonely bottle at the back, his short arm almost fully extending just to get back that far.

The brand on the bottle wasn't one that Levi recognized, though the label being partially torn off may have attributed for that. In case the mystery brand turned out to be as shitty as the cheap brand, he picked up a fifth of vodka for good measure, as well as a shot glass.

The shopkeeper, a gangly young man who looked too young to be working such a job, flashed Levi a cheesy smile as he put the bottles up on the counter. Levi glared in response, and he could almost feel the taller boy shrink under his harsh gaze. He found it rather amusing at times how people both shorter and taller (though mostly taller) could be so flustered and intimidated by his mere presence. The power trip certainly didn't hurt his ego; not one bit.

He hadn't noticed there was another customer in the store until he heard a voice go "hmm" a few aisles back. It sounded strangely familiar...

"Levi! Ha! Fancy seeing YOU here!" Hanji's peppy voice called out as she noticed him. She was carrying a whole basketful of assorted liquors to the register. "Needed these for some experiments tomorrow, exciting stuff!"

Levi scoffed, mumbling something about her weird shitty glasses and deliberately turning his back.

"Ooh! Vodka and a shot glass? Looks like someone's partying hard tonight! I gotta say Levi, I didn't peg you as the type."

"I'm not going to anyone's shitty party. And you're one to talk," he eyed the basketful of alcohol she had, though he knew she wasn't much of a drinker so it was probably the truth when she said it was for experiments.

"Right, I always had a feeling you don't get invited to those. Something to do with how you scare everyone away with a single glance, I bet."

"Bye," Levi deadpanned, picking up the brown paper bag with the liquor he had just finished paying for.

"Wait! I'm glad I ran into you actually , I came to town with Petra - she volunteered to help me gather stuff for my experiment - but then she kinda wandered off. Would you find her for me? She should probably be around the outskirts still somewhere. I really have to go set up for this experiment before daylight, so I can't waste any more time looking for her, but I don't want her to be left alone in town this late soo..." she looked at Levi expectantly, a sickly sweet smile plastered across her features.

"Fuck, Hanji, do I look like one of your assistants to you? If you needed someone to do your bidding you should have brought one of them along. They'd be more than happy to even wipe your ass for you, but not me."

"Ugh, you grumpy old man," she wagged a finger in his face, "well, like I said, I can't spend any more time in town tonight, and Petra is YOUR subordinate after all. If you wanna leave her in town, alone at night when all the sleazy people come out to play, that's on you," she grabbed her wrapped liquor and headed out, leaving Levi to stand there like an idiot.

The cashier made the mistake of making eye contact with him, and was practically cowering beneath a scathing glare before Levi turned and also headed out.

His mood was undeniably sour now; fucking Hanji, dumping her responsibilities on him like he was her fucking dog or something. There was no way around it though; he wasn't about to leave one of his best soldiers on her own in the sketchier part of town at night. The thought of some fuck-face criminals putting their grimy hands on her made his skin crawl and blood boil. If they were anything like he had once been in his crime days... well, he'd better hurry up and get to her first.

He searched the streets near the liquor store a bit to no avail, and a restless anxiety began to take root in his stomach. He passed by Petra's horse tied to a post, indicating that she was still in town somewhere. What if she really had run into some trouble? It would be a terrible shame to lose a top soldier in such a way... He swore he would fucking KILL Hanji if Petra wound up hurt because of her irresponsibility, or worse...

He thought he saw a flash of strawberry blonde hair in the distance, and his eyes narrowed. This particular street was rather dimly lit, save for the candle booth that was run by some old hag. As he made his way closer to the dark figures around the booth, the wings of freedom symbol on a green cloak was unmistakable; as was the honey colored hair.

Levi walked up to her and roughly grabbed her wrist, yanking her around to face him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Wandering around shitty places at night by yourself?"

"Ah! C-captain!" Petra gasped in surprise. She quickly regained her composure. "I had to retrieve something sir, I was with Hanji but somehow we got separated, I was just about to leave though..." she wouldn't meet his eyes as she spoke.

"Look at me when I'm speaking to you," he said sternly, still burning with annoyance.

She slowly lifted her amber eyes to meet his, and he sensed something was off. Her eyes looked glassy and watery like she was about to cry or something. _Christ, was it something I said? _It didn't quite add up though; he had reprimanded her countless times, every bit as harshly, yet she always kept her cool. In fact, she was one of the few people that were usually unfazed by his ice cold glare.

He loosened his grip on her wrist slightly, but didn't let go.

"You should know better, Ral. Tch. I picked you for my squad because you're not an idiot, so I don't understand why you're acting like one," he said, fixing her with an unamused look.

She took it well enough, nodding solemnly. "Yes, sir. I promise to be more mindful in the future."

_A promise. _He almost scoffed at the term. She was undoubtedly the type to abide by such trivial whims as _promises. _It was the mark of an optimist - or an idealist, rather. A vow made to be broken. But he didn't have the nerve to point out her fallacy just then, so he let it slide.

"Sure," he humored her.

He let go of her wrist and beckoned her to follow, turning away. She gave a small wave and apologetic smile to the old candle lady before following Levi, a small bag around her hand.

They walked through the dark streets in stony silence for a while before Petra finally spoke up.

"So um, captain, did Hanji send you to look for me? Is she OK?"

"Yes. Fucking shitty glasses ditched you, then dumped it on me to go fetch you so she can go fuck around instead or something. Like hell, I didn't know I'd be fucking babysitting when I came to town and..." Levi paused, realizing he was sounding like a dick. He shouldn't be displacing his annoyance at Hanji onto Petra. He was being more vulgar than usual because of his general restlessness. And somehow he didn't want to be all shitty towards her when she was looking off and strangely vulnerable. So he changed the subject.

"What's in the bag?" He asked in his usual deadpan monotone, seemingly disinterested but actually rather curious. She had ditched Hanji to retrieve whatever it was; it must be important.

"Oh! You mean this? This, is umm..." she fidgeted unusually. Why was she acting so strange? "It's just a candle, sir. It's for someone special," she said with a soft, sad smile.

Levi's ears perked up at the words. For someone special? Of all things, why would she get her boyfriend a candle? … the fuck? This night just kept getting stranger. He almost rubbed his temple out of pure habit, but suppressed the urge.

"Captain, what's in your bag?"

He hesitated, remembering the brown bag he was still clutching. _Should I tell her? I don't want her to think I'm some drunkard man..._

But why did he care what she thought of him anyways? It wasn't like him to concern himself with such things.

"Whiskey and vodka," he admitted. _Tch, definitely made me sound like a drunk._

"Nice! I keep some drinks stashed in my room from time to time too," she piped in with a cheery smile, the lines of sadness gone .

It certainly wasn't the answer he was expecting. Surprised, he cast a sidelong glance at the enthusiastic girl.

She seemed to remember who she was talking to just then, and her smile abruptly faded. "Ah, sorry, captain, sir, I mean - you won't tell anyone right? I know it's improper and you told me not to be an idiot and-"

"Relax, Petra. You needn't be so formal with me when we're off duty," Levi said. Sometimes he wished he could be rid of the burden of his rank, so that people like Petra could just speak to him freely without getting all flustered and reverting to stiff and formal talk. Like earlier…

Levi was a highly respected leader, but he was still just a man... a fact that seemed universally overlooked in the legion these days, after earning the titles of Lance Corporal and humanity's strongest. At times he felt more like a relic than a person.

"Okay, Levi," Petra's soft voice filled his ears. He started at the use of his name, earning her another sidelong glance, but in a better way this time. Her kind smile and honey eyes seemed to radiate with a pleasant warmth. It felt refreshing somehow, for someone other than rude Hanji to be comfortable with him. It reminded him of how it felt to have friends; he hadn't had friends in years, and he was finding it was something he sorely missed. He doubted his subordinate would ever consider him a friend though, and that was for the best. The sickening, gut-wrenching pain of losing his friends on the field had nearly driven him to madness; blind fury had possessed him. He never wanted to feel that way again.

The two soldiers stopped by their horses. Levi secured his liquor bag to the saddle then climbed atop his mare, while Petra did likewise with her dark bay gelding.

"Captain, I mean, Levi, is it okay if we stop somewhere along the way? It won't take long, I promise, and it's very close to the base." Her warm honey eyes met his yet again, and he found he couldn't say no to her even if he wanted.

"Fine," he said simply. He wondered where she wanted to stop by at 10pm on a week night. Perhaps she wanted to drop by her boyfriends house and deliver her weird candle. He didn't exactly know what type of guy she was into, but he guessed it wasn't the tall, buff type because she had already turned down a few of those in the legion that had come onto her. So her boyfriend was probably some scrawny pansy who wrote shitty poetry and had a candle fetish. No doubt he would utterly shrivel under Levi's cold gaze. The thought of it was oddly satisfying to Levi, his thin lips almost pulling up to a smirk.

Petra took the lead, riding ahead on her gelding. They stuck to the path until they were a little further than halfway, then she detoured onto a narrower, rocky path through a thicket of foliage. Levi followed, growing more and more interested in finally seeing her jungle-living, candle-fucking boyfriend. Really, this mystery guy just kept getting better.

To his mild disappointment, they stopped at the edge of trees, near the edge of a cliff. This cliff wasn't too high, but the view was definitely impressive. The sound of a nearby waterfall was accompanied by the sight of a winding river disappearing over the horizon below them. Shimmering moonlight illuminated the ripples of the water.

Petra dismounted and walked over to the tallest tree, sitting between the trunk and a short, flat rock. The grass looked clean enough, so Levi sat down beside her as she took out the candle and placed it on the flat surface of the rock. His eyes watched her face, waiting for an explanation as she struck a match and lit the candle.

"Sorry to drag you out here with me. But, well, today's the anniversary of my mother's death four years ago. She caught that nasty plague that was going around and wasn't able to receive the vaccine in time to save her life. She never got a burial or a tomb because they had to burn all the bodies. So now, since I have no grave to visit... I try to at least light her a candle every year," she said, the dim candlelight reflecting on her glassy amber eyes. Yet again she looked like she might cry or something. Levi looked away; he wasn't so good at dealing with emotional people, he lacked the sensitivity to be anything but blunt. He understood, now, the reserved thoughtfulness that had been lingering within her all day.

He turned his attention to her hands, arranging the white roses from her bag neatly around the glowing candle. Apparently the candle wasn't the only thing she had bought; he felt a pang of guilt for thinking it was all for some boyfriend of hers or whatnot. The special someone was actually her late mother.

She took out a paper of some sort from her pocket. "I write her a letter every year too... I know it seems silly but ..." he thought he saw a faint blush creeping onto her cheeks.

"It's not silly," he assured, his voice low and calm; a different tone than what he normally took on.

She nodded, unfolding the letter and holding it over the flickering flame. Levi could make out the names of Erd and Auruo in the letter before the embers dissolved them into ash. He wondered if there was any mention of him in her letter, and if so, what she had said...

She dropped the letter when the embers began to close in on her fingers, letting the rest of it turn to scattered ashes speckling the white rose petals. The whole scene looked strangely poetic, and beautiful in a haunting way.

His eye caught the glint of white twine on her right palm, and he reached for her hand, pulling it close to observe it. Her breath caught at this.

"Your hand has healed well," he pointed out. It had been a week now since he had stitched it up for her. "I can remove these for you tomorrow if you stop by my office," he offered, tracing his thumb lightly over the threads.

"Thank you," she breathed.

He relaxed his arms and looked up again, taking in the scene for a few minutes and appreciating the quiet peace. He felt at ease here, listening to the light rustling of leaves, the distant running water, and the honey-haired girl breathing beside him. After a while he noticed that she seemed oddly flustered for some reason. It wasn't until he looked down that he realized with a start that he was still holding her small, warm hand between his rough hands on his lap. The sensation had been so comfortable that he'd forgotten about it, but he realized it was probably what was freaking her the hell out.

_The fuck is this shit? I look like a bloody idiot, _he groaned internally, mentally slapping himself.

Gingerly, he gave her back her hand and stood up. Something about flickering flames and picturesque scenes always mesmerized him and made him space out stupidly like that.

"Do you want to be alone?" He asked, not wanting to intrude further upon her personal ritual. Clearly it meant a lot to her, and he had to respect that.

"No, that's okay, I've done what I needed to do," Petra said, the kind smile returning to her face. She whispered a quick "I love you, mom," and blew out the candle, then stood up.

They rode back to the base quietly under the pale, silver full moon.

The whiskey turned out to be shitty, Levi thought later as he sat in his room, illuminated only by the moonlight flickering in through his small window. He downed a shot of vodka instead and laid back in his bed, hoping the alcohol would take effect soon and calm his overwhelming restless energy.

* * *

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	3. Admiration

"Ral, bank left!"

"Yes sir!" Petra shouted, shooting her hooks left by Erd's command. She knew exactly what to do next: she swung low, slicing behind the dummy titan's knees with her paired blades while Auruo acted as the distraction. The ten meter dummy collapsed, and not a moment later was struck in the nape of the neck by Gunther, swooping down from above with deadly precision.

The four soldiers dropped to the ground, panting and clothes damp with sweat. Their captain wasn't present, but that didn't mean they could slack on their training day. It was a good exercise in teamwork to figure things out without Levi's guidance. He was away at some sort of meeting.

Petra excelled at cooperation. When she was with her team, she felt safe, confident, and her actions came naturally. Words were often not needed; they understood each other well enough to work as a whole; as a hive, of sorts. It was like clockwork, she thought, wiping the sweat from her brow. They had been at it for a good while now and it was almost sunset.

"Tired yet? You can fall into my arms whenever you need to," Auruo said to her with a cocky smile.

Petra rolled her eyes. "You wish, idiot," she said, giving him a playful shove. Auruo was a great soldier, but he always seemed intent on pestering her... kind of like the brother she never had.

"Tch, you just wait, little girl..."

_Again with the Levi imitation,_ she thought irritably. "Yes, Auruo, I'm the little girl who beat you at arm wrestling last night." She flashed an innocent grin.

Erd and Gunther both burst into laughter at this.

"Sounds pretty true to me," Gunther chuckled.

"Ehh! You weren't supposed to tell anyone, wasn't that the deal?" Auruo complained, rubbing his neck and looking away.

"You haven't paid up yet! No money, no deal." Petra smiled wider, rubbing her thumb against her fingers like she was demanding the money now. Truthfully she really did want it sometime soon...

Erd rubbed her hair, chuckling "That's our Pet! You tell him, girl."

"By all means, don't stop on my account," a familiar voice echoed behind them.

Immediately the soldiers spun around and saluted in unison.

"SIR!"

Tired, sunken gray eyes scrutinized them for a moment, betraying nothing.

"At ease."

"Captain, we have completed all our team maneuvers successfully on the dummy-titans, sir, " Petra spoke up when she noticed Erd still looking startled.

The gray eyes focused on hers, and she met them full on, not batting an eyelash. She had observed Levi enough to know it was his game to intimidate others with his icy, impassive gaze. It never worked on her, though; if she were that easily intimidated, she wouldn't survive a day on her squad. She had made herself impervious to his ice; it couldn't reach her.

His eyes shifted to the fallen dummy behind them and he nodded. She noticed he had his gear strapped on, which meant they weren't done yet.

"I set up a few more on the way back. Show me what you have improved upon in teamwork today." Levi took off through the trees, his squad quickly following behind.

They quickly made short work of the first few dummies of varying heights as their captain looked on from a nearby tree. For the last few, he joined in, fitting into their teamwork effortlessly.

"Petra, left!" He called, heading towards the last dummy as Erd and Gunther worked together on the one behind them.

Auruo flew up high once again as the distraction while Petra sliced behind the knees. This time it was Levi who came in for the kill. He swooped down on the collapsing dummy like a falcon - the fastest of all birds - while spinning with incredible momentum.

Petra couldn't help but turn her head and watch, admiring his lethal skill. He was so natural with the gear, like it was an extension of his body, and so fast; graceful, even. It was breathtaking to watch him; he had sliced up the nape before the dummy had even finished falling to the ground from the blow to the knees. He landed calmly as it hit the ground with a thud.

The four special ops soldiers were once again all panting as they landed beside their captain, awaiting orders.

"Auruo," Levi began, "I know you can get higher than that. You're the distraction, not the live bait. Don't get caught because you're too damn lazy to go high enough."

"Yes, sir."

"And Petra." Deep gray eyes bored into hers again. "You need to swing lower for that maneuver. If you're too high on the descent or uptake, you risk getting grabbed by a fast hand if the distraction fails. And pay attention to what you're doing instead of looking back at me. That kind of shit will get you killed." He seemed less than amused. "Just because this is training doesn't mean you can blow it off and do stupid things. You perform how you practice."

"Ahh... yes, sir." How embarrassing… he'd caught her staring like an idiot.

"On the whole, it was fine. It's good you all can operate with or without me. Tomorrow we will focus on individual work... solo kills." Levi sheathed his blades and beckoned for his squad to follow him out of the woods.

"Admiring the captain? Tisk, tisk," Auruo teased, sliding up next to the honey-blonde and rubbing her head.

"Quit that!" Petra ducked away from him. "At least I didn't try to imitate his haircut," she shot back with a smirk, making sure she said it loud enough for everyone to hear. She heard the other two stifling their laughter. That seemed to shut him up as he mumbled something to himself.

They followed Levi all the way back to headquarters. It was now dusk and the last of the sunlight was quickly fading.

"You're all dismissed. Except for you," the Lance Corporal said, his eyes falling on Petra.

They all saluted, the three men looking at each other and probably wondering what their captain would do to their poor little girl. They dispersed, leaving Petra and Levi together at the foyer.

They eyed each other for a moment as she gave a confused smile. He tapped the inside of his palm with a finger and that's when she recalled the stitches .

"Oh, I'd forgotten all about it," she said as she followed him into his office.

"Sit up," he motioned to his desk. He opened a drawer and pulled out a pair of scissors and tweezers. He slipped on the translucent gloves as she sat herself up on the desk again, offering up her hand.

She observed closely again as his calm, steady hands cut and pulled the threads out. Admittedly, his close presence and the sound of his even breathing felt good. She could smell his clean scent and minty breath from this close.

"Petra, why must you watch me like that during training? You and I both know it's not the first time you've done that. You're smart enough not to pull that shit during expeditions, but if you keep practicing that way it's only a matter of time..." his tone wasn't harsh and reprimanding as before; he sounded genuinely curious, although his eyes remained focused on his task.

Petra felt a blush creeping up and tried her best to repress it. _Don't be a dumb blushing maiden_... but at the same time she had no idea what to say to him... "You're just, um, captivating to watch, I suppose ."

"Captivating." he deadpanned.

"Yes, er, your skill... is very... admirable to behold." Shoot, that didn't even make sense ...

"So you admire me? Is that it?" He pulled the last thread out of the wound.

_What kind of question is that?_ Petra thought, mind racing.

"Well, truthfully ... yes, captain. You are _amazing_! But who in the legion doesn't admire you?"

"I'm _amazing_." He repeated, imitating her tone. She was pretty sure he was just playing around with her at this point.

"Yes, Captain Levi! If you could see yourself through my eyes, you'd be pretty impressed too," she said with a bright smile, hoping it would hide the flutter she felt inwardly.

He finished cleaning the scar and removed his gloves. His impassive eyes finally lifted to meet hers as he straightened his cravat.

"Hmph, well I appreciate the vote of confidence. But staring is rude. Don't do that again."

She could see a hint of amusement on his face, but she also understood the serious message as well: she needed to be focused on herself during those times. It was true .

"Anytime, captain. And yes, I promise not to let it happen again." The embarrassment was creeping back up again the more she thought about it.

"You and your fucking promises," Levi grumbled under his breath, shaking his head disapprovingly. "What do you even get out of that?"

"Captain… it's just a pledge of sorts. I don't say it arbitrarily; I remember every promise I've ever made," Petra shifted, sliding off his desk. They were unusually close now, but he didn't take a step back, instead opting for crossing his arms.

"A pledge, huh," Levi deadpanned skeptically.

"You'll see, captain," she went on, voice softening and eyes falling down to his neatly-pressed cravat. "You'll see what it means when I promise something. Just watch and you'll see," she added boldly, truthfully unsure how he would react to such a statement.

The dark-haired captain only blinked. "Is that so," he cocked his head. "I'll watch, then," he said in a low tone as he brushed past her to get around his desk.

"You're free to go, Ral," he waved her off dismissively.

"Thank you. For everything," she said with a smile, then headed out.

Those little moments with him always cheered her up... even if it meant enduring a bit of embarrassment. They had their moments from time to time; when they exchanged knowing glances or made subtle jokes or had short but meaningful conversations. Something unspoken often seemed to simmer below their interactions; something she couldn't quite place. She knew that was probably as close as she'd ever get to him, and she was okay with that. The little moments of understanding each other were almost like a friendship. It was enough for her, she determined as she walked down the hall; it made her happy, and deep down she really hoped that maybe it made him happy as well.

There were also moments that made her long for more, though. But those were just silly. Like when their hands sometimes accidentally brushed when she was serving him tea, or when they made eye contact seemingly at random and for a second she felt like sparks flew, or even when he'd traced his thumb along her stitches the other night and then forgot he was still grasping her hand until ten minutes later (she was sure that was a mistake, and didn't dare hope otherwise.) Or the time she'd passed out from dehydration during a particularly brutal training exercise and awoke to find herself being carried back in his arms. These moments were just her guilty pleasures though. He had infinite compassion for his comrades, she knew, underneath his brash attitude and impassive face. And she was no exception - another valued comrade, but nothing more.

It was sad, in a way, to have such strong feelings towards something that could never, would never, be. And towards someone who was utterly off-limits; never out of sight but always out of reach. Yes, it was sad, but it was a beautiful sadness. A sweet sadness that she would never wish away.

Everything would be okay in the end, she told herself. It was one of her personal mantras, one that she tried to tell herself whenever she felt like she was going to start over-thinking trivial matters. There were bigger issues at hand than her lonely soul. The scouting legion strode towards a larger goal; their little lives didn't count on the whole. It was the fact that every soldier accepted upon joining the ranks.

For now, she'd just take things day by day, as always. For now… she'd go claim that money that Auruo owed her.

* * *

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	4. Words and letters

The next few days of training were uneventful. The only noteworthy happening was the approval of the next scouting expedition. Erwin had finally received the support and funds by the central command; if only to shut him up. He had been pushing for the expedition for a while now - as always seemed to happen.

Upcoming expeditions were generally pretty good news; making any progress in reclaiming wall Maria was good. But it also meant a metric shit-ton of paper work had to be done in the month or two beforehand. The additional training was no stress, but the papers certainly were.

Levi scowled at the stack on his desk. If he had known that taking up the Lance Corporal position would entail all this, he would have been far more hesitant to accept. It was at times like these when he wondered why he had accepted at all.

He got halfway through the work before he felt his eyes glaze over and sat back. A break would be nice, but it was getting awfully late into the night and he was tired as shit. He needed a cup of coffee... or perhaps just a change of setting.

There was only one other place he could think to go: the common area on the second floor. It was a cozy room with couches, a coffee table and a fireplace. Soldiers often hung out there in their free hours to relax, unwind, and socialize. Levi didn't go there much; he preferred to clean during his free time, alone. But at this hour it was likely to be deserted, so it would be a good spot to finish up.

The room was dark and luckily empty when he arrived. He sat down on the deep red couch and placed the papers on the coffee table in front, then lit a candle. The room was a bit untidy, which bothered him, and he was glad for the dim lighting just then; the less he saw of the mess, the better. What he didn't know couldn't hurt him.

He got to work scrawling on a few papers, and was at it for a while he when noticed movement at the corner of the room from his peripheral vision. He froze, eyes narrowing and mind immediately thinking of what things in his vicinity could be used as weapons. The shadowy figure stood from the couch in the corner and walked over slowly to the candlelight.

Levi quietly released a breath as the figure drew closer. It was just some short soldier. Some girl. Oh, it was _that girl_. His subordinate, Petra Ral.

And.. what the hell was she wearing?

"Captain?" She squinted and took a step forward. She was wearing… black spandex shorts and a dark gray-and-red, loose fitting shirt. He could see her smooth, slender legs and slender arms… and the tight spandex left little to the imagination. "Ah, captain! It is you. Sorry if I startled you. I was writing something and then I kind of fell asleep, my candle must have burned out too…" she trailed off, clutching the folded up letter she had been writing.

"What the hell are you wearing?" He said bluntly, still fixated on her long legs. He tore his gaze away to see a deep blush blaze across her features.

"Ehh! Umm," she tugged at the bottom of the shorts, looking rather self-conscious and trying to make them seem longer than they actually were. "This is what I wear to sleep, and, well, you know, nobody usually comes around here at this hour of night, I thought it'd just be fine, but then you came, my apologies, captain, I used to have decent PJ pants but then they were stolen so I kinda only have these and-"

"It's fine," he waved a hand to quiet her. He didn't need to hear her life's story in the form of a rambling, run-on sentence. Especially not at midnight. He turned his focus back to his paper.

"Captain, do you need anything before I go?"

"Yes. If you want to help, get me a coffee."

"Coffee?! But Levi, it's almost midnight!"

He stopped what he was writing and looked up. Only she would have the audacity to question his demands like that. He hadn't yet decided whether he found it intriguing or off-putting. It all depended on his mood, he supposed, and just right now it seemed pretty damn annoying.

"How about I make you some tea instead? I think it will be better for you," her silky voice rang out.

He was about mumble something shitty about her not being his freaking mother, but when he looked into her eyes the words died on his tongue. She looked as tired and he, and yet was still offering to do him a favor. After all this time, he could still never work up the nerve to be rude to the short, honey-haired girl. She never seemed to deserve it.

"Fine... Tea it is."

Levi leaned back and rubbed his eyes as Petra nodded and walked away. As he watched her go, his eyes were drawn to her waist, outlined very nicely by those spandex shorts...

Ugh, was he really staring at her ass? He looked down, feeling like some creepy old pervert. She was barely nineteen; he was thirty-one... too old to be staring at teenage girls.

He only had a few papers left to do; if he pressed on, it would only take him about ten minutes. Fifteen, at most.

He was on the second-to-last paper, something about agreeing to account for all resources used on the expedition, when Petra quietly came back in with his tea.

"Thank you," he mumbled as she set the tea down next to him. She set down one for herself too.

"Do you mind if I join you? Tea calms me down too. I promise I won't bother you."

"Go ahead."

Her lips turned up to a small smile and she sat at the opposite end of the two-cushion sofa, to his left. She kept her promise and was quiet, sipping on her tea and reading over her letter as he finished the last of his work.

He set his pen down when he finished and leaned back, gripping his teacup by the rim as he also sipped. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his subordinate pocket her letter and turn to him.

"Captain... I've always wondered, why do you hold the teacup like that?"

Ugh. The teacup question. What was it with people and the way he chose to hold his damn drink? Was it really that peculiar? Levi couldn't even count the number of people that had asked him that. It was only a matter of time before it got to her as well; she had gone a whole year being in his squad without once mentioning or asking about it, but finally the curiosity caught up. He never answered that question; he just completely ignored whoever asked. In a way, it was like his little secret. And it was amusing to watch people guess, as if the way he held his drink was a matter of any importance at all.

But it wasn't all that fun anymore. He figured he should eventually tell someone. For all he knew, the upcoming mission could be his last. It would be such a tragedy if the secret were to die with him. And to all the those who speculated about it, the actual answer was laughably simple and underwhelming.

The dark-haired corporal sighed, setting the cup down and flicking the handle.

"The handle is often more fragile than people realize," he explained. "It's completely unpredictable; you never know when it will break and spill your damn tea everywhere, making a huge mess. I hate messes. And I hate surprises. The rim is far more reliable."

"Hmm… so I'm guessing that has happened to you before?" She flashed a playful grin.

Where was she getting the nerve to talk to him like this? He couldn't say he minded, but it was unusual to be having such a casual conversation with his subordinate.

"Yes... once..." Levi muttered, glaring at the teacup.

"And you've had trust issues with teacups ever since," she teased, giggling as she downed the rest of hers.

Either she was really warming up to him... or she was tired and delirious. He wasn't sure how to feel about this unexpected development. It was, after all, really fucking late.

"Petra, I have a pair of those shitty legion sweatpants that I never use. Not really my thing. You should take them," he suggested, changing the subject. She needed something better to wear than those overly revealing spandex shorts.

"Whaa? Are you sure? I mean... they might not fit or..."

"They'll fit," he stated, and with that he didn't need to explain further, thankfully, because she nodded in understanding. After all, he was only an inch taller than the petite girl. He wasn't embarrassed about his height or anything, but he didn't like to have to explain the impairments of being short - such as wearing more or less the same sized clothes as his teenaged, female subordinate.

"They're in my room, in the closet to the right. You should go pick them up now… and then sleep. You look like you need it."

"Ohh… do I really look that bad?" She mumbled, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

He had decided by this point to chalk up her strangeness to being exhausted. They had, after all, been training on making individual kills all day, which tended to be far more taxing than teamwork training; especially for Petra, because it was the area she needed the most improvement in . Still, he wasn't really sure how to answer that question.

Did she look that bad? Well, yes, he thought as he glanced at her from the corner of his eyes - her amber eyes sunken and tired, looking almost like his. They were glazed over - he knew that look, because he wore that expression too when he was that tired. Looks like they had something in common besides being short after all. But he couldn't just tell her she looked like shit. Dammit… he just couldn't stand to be rude to Petra and it drove him crazy. Or maybe because even in her disheveled, weary state, she still didn't really look like shit.

"You look fine," he lied. "But you should still go to sleep now."

"As you wish…" she said sleepily, running a hand through her strawberry blonde hair. Her hair glowed in the candlelight as it moved. Her long eyelashes glowed, her soft skin glowed… she looked unreal just then, like some sort of daydream. He was suddenly overcome with an urge to reach out and discover whether her hair really felt like silk, or whether she was even real at all. He blinked hard, pushing the impulsive thoughts from his head.

"Good night, Mr. Captain Levi." Petra stood up, then reached over and ruffled Levi's hair, shattering his reverie. He felt her touch, confirming that she was indeed real after all. With a beaming smile she picked up her empty tea cup and left.

What the actual fuck? There must have been something in her tea. Nobody ever touched his person, let alone his hair.

Fuck... whatever... it was too late to ponder over crap or scold her. He shook his head out to fix the messed up hair then picked up his stack of papers and was about to blow out the candle when something caught his eye: a folded up paper on the couch.

It was Petra's letter. She must have forgotten it. Levi picked it up and shoved it in his pocket to give back to her later, then finally blew out the candle and left the common room.

He wasn't going to read it, he decided as he dropped the papers off in his office then went to his room. It was probably personal. Plenty of soldiers wrote letters, and like hell if he ever bothered to read all the lost letters he came across. He guessed it was either a letter to her family, in which case he didn't want to read it, or a love letter to some pansy, in which case he especially didn't want to read it. Those were the two types of letters that soldiers wrote, and he did not want to read either type - family letters made him feel intrusive, like a total dick for violating someone's private matters, and love letters made him gag and want to take a shower. It was much too late for either of those things.

After he entered his clean, tidy room, he stripped down to his sleeping clothes. As an afterthought, he checked his closet and noticed the sweatpants he never wore were gone. He was glad she at least still had wits enough to heed his advice, despite being totally out of it. He wondered if she was always that strange when she was very sleepy, or if she really had put something in her tea.

Whatever. That was an enigma for another day. The bed was calling him. He collapsed on it and was fast asleep moments later, dreaming of falling stars and fallen soldiers.

* * *

The next day consisted of a routine evaluation of soldiers. The individuals were evaluated to determine any squad transfers, and squads as a whole were evaluated in technique to determine their exact placement in the long-range scouting formation.

Unlike most squad leaders, Levi didn't have to worry about any of his soldiers being drafted off to a different squad. Being the lance corporal had its perks; he had gotten his pick of the litter when he formed his squad, and he had chosen well. The Special Ops squad members were exempt from being drafted away. Levi was allowed to draft virtually anyone from any squad into his own, but he doubted he would. With the final addition of Gunther several months ago, his squad finally felt complete and worked seamlessly, like a well oiled machine.

His mind was always open to possibilities though, so it was important that he attended and watched closely; at least for the elite squad performances. He would also be watching his own squad's exhibition. And later in the day he would have to strap on his gear and slice up some dummies too, to prove that he was still in peak condition.

That morning his squad was unusually quiet as Petra served coffee for everyone. Her face looked well rested, the sunken look of exhaustion from the previous night gone. Their eyes met for a second and his eyes narrowed, exasperated. She looked on edge, and it was utterly ridiculous. As if he would ever replace her. A lot of soldiers grew anxious on evaluation days; their performance determined their placement, and sometimes their placement determined their life or death.

He could tell Petra was uneasy by the way she chewed her bottom lip and pushed her breakfast around her plate. Auruo was fidgeting with his cravat, also on edge, and Gunther was being oddly chatty. Erd was the only one who seemed perfectly calm as always, and trying to lighten the mood with little success.

For most squads, the apprehension was far worse on expedition days. But Levi swore he had picked a bunch of weirdos for his squad, because they always seemed more nervous about evaluations than about expeditions. Did they really all fear he was going to replace them? It was not like they had much to fear about their placement in the formation; they could handle themselves from any spot in the formation.

Maybe they just didn't like being scrutinized; Levi sure as hell didn't, but he met it with indifference rather than unease. Screw what others would think of him.

Before he knew it he was outside, perched up on a tree with the other squad leaders and observing soldiers of all levels flying through the evaluation course. The elite soldiers seemed in very good shape, but none in particular caught his eye, as he suspected. Finally he got to watch his own soldiers breeze through the course individually, and he couldn't help but feel pride in the way the other soldiers stood silent to admire their technique.

Erd Gin was bold and strong, and also had a natural affinity for leadership. He had been a squad leader for a short time before being drafted onto Levi's squad. He powered through the course with no problems. Auruo Bossard was remarkably fast and relentless; he excelled at solo kills, so he was completely in his element. Petra Ral was agile, graceful, and struck her targets with deadly precision; but still, he knew where she would really shine was later in the teamwork exhibition. Gunther Schulz was a well-rounded soldier, showing great technique and creativity.

And then it was Levi's turn to navigate the course. It was no sweat for him; he blazed through it with vigor and precision, completing it in record time. He didn't look back as he landed, several dummies collapsing behind him. He was greeted by loud cheers from the rookie onlookers.

"Tch... spare me…" he muttered, sheathing his blades and walking towards his squad.

Later he watched his squad work together as a whole. Petra in particular shined during teamwork, and Erd's leadership qualities came through. The squad surprised everyone with a new maneuver where Gunther used his gas as a smokescreen, intending to confuse the target. Since the target was a dummy it made no difference, but in a real situation it was a brilliant strategy. Petra swooped in for the kill in a flash of strawberry hair and silver steel.

Of all the things he had seen that day, that moment was the image that stuck in his mind: the smokescreen and the flash of orange and silver.

He remembered it later when he sat back in his office chair, taking a break from all the stupid papers... the downside of evaluation day. And remembering his squad made him recall a certain letter still in his pocket.

Levi withdrew the folded letter and turned it over, wondering if he would dare intrude upon the thoughts of the fierce honey-haired soldier. He almost unfolded it, but instead he scoffed and stood up. It was a quarter after ten; he could possibly still locate her and return the letter before he did something stupid like giving into his whimsical curiosity. After all, he recalled her confession to him a few nights ago that she wrote letters to her late mother - and he would feel like an absolute dick if he read one of those intensely personal things.

Picking up his stack of paperwork, he decided to relocate to the second floor common room once again. Sure enough, Petra was up late once again, sitting on the worn two-cushion sofa while writing diligently on the paper atop the coffee table. He noted with approval that she was thankfully wearing pants this time - his pants that he'd given her. She definitely pulled it off better than he, retaining her athletic look even in the baggy clothes.

"Oi, Petra, I have something for you."

The intent girl gasped and jumped at this - she was probably so focused that she hadn't even heard him coming in.

"Captain Levi! Ahh... what do you have, sir?"

Levi set his paperwork down on the coffee table and took a seat next to her on the couch, then flicked the folded up letter onto her side of the table. Her surprise grew even more at this; he wished he could have captured a mental image of her face, but he wasn't good at mental images.

"My letter! You found it!" She exclaimed, retrieving it happily. "Thank you, captain… wait…" her face suddenly looked anxious. "You didn't… read it, did you?" She bit her lower lip.

"No," he said truthfully, and watched her exhale in relief. Now he was especially glad he hadn't read it; whatever secrets it held would remain secrets. That was the way it should be. He didn't like to carry the burdens of other people's secrets. Still, a part of him wondered what she had written - he would never know now.

_Or… perhaps, would he?_ He thought, suppressing the urge to smirk.

* * *

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**Oh Levi, you grumpy perv...**

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	5. Helping hand

**(This is a continuation of the scene from last chapter, only switching to Petra's POV for the rest of the scene)**

* * *

_Thank god he didn't read it… lord knows I've embarrassed myself enough in front of him recently._

Petra crumpled up the replacement letter she had been working on after she had realized with dismay that the original one was lost. It wasn't like her to lose things so she had been frustrated, and it took a toll on the quality of her writing, so it was quite a relief to have the original back.

"It's not that there's anything bad in it," she explained, because somehow she felt the need to justify herself, "but it's just I get a little self-conscious about people reading my writing. It's like… letting someone inside my head… and all my silly random thoughts. You know what I mean?"

"Not really. I've never written a letter like that. I don't exactly have anyone who's eager to hear from me," Levi said flatly, sorting his stack of paperwork into piles.

_Oh… that's right.._ she thought. From what she knew, Levi had no family to speak of and his only friends were all dead. To be honest, she hadn't fully realized that until now. She cast a sidelong glance at his impassive face and wondered if he ever felt lonely.

"You can still… write to them, you know," she said slowly, measuring his reaction. "Your friends, I mean."

Levi blinked, his eyes narrowing and shifting from his sorting to meet hers. Her heart lurched because for a second she feared she'd overstepped a boundary; taken a liberty with an issue that he never discussed with anyone; and he would surely put her in her place.

But to her relief he simply shook his head, ever so slightly.

"That's stupid. They're dead. Dead people can't read shit," he mumbled, then froze - probably realizing who he was talking to.

"It's okay, captain. Honestly, I thought it was stupid at first too. Some scouting legion veteran advised it to me the day my mother's body was burned - the man was half mad with PTSD so I just completely dismissed it. But I kept thinking back on the idea, and a few weeks later I ended up writing her a letter. I don't know why… but it gave me a sense of closure, watching the letter go up in flames. I like to believe that somehow, some way the messages get through. Even if it's just wishful thinking, it helps me feel closer to her, and less lonely. As if all the fallen are still with us… listening to our struggles and granting us the strength to go on…" she trailed off, her eyes watching her fingers absentmindedly trace the folds of the letter on her lap.

Levi's gaze lingered on her a moment longer before turning back to his work. He probably didn't know how to respond to that. He hadn't asked for her life's story, after all; she hoped her rambling wasn't annoying him.

"Anyways, would you like help with that?" She gestured to his stack of papers while pocketing the letter. "It seems to be quite a lot. Perhaps I can be of assistance?"

He seemed to consider this for a moment, then pushed one of the piles over to her side of the table.

"These are the medical reports for our squad. All you need to do is write that everyone's all fine and peachy. Auruo is allergic to cats; that's about as far as our ailments go."

Petra nodded, holding back a giggle. She would have to remember that fun fact for the future.

They worked together quietly for almost an hour. She was glad she could help him since she had a feeling he didn't like this kind of work. She didn't mind shouldering some of the burden, especially if it meant getting to keep him company in the dim, peaceful room.

Petra finished her stack quicker, so she silently left to go make some tea.

When she returned, Levi was done and re-sorting the papers into one big stack.

She placed the teacups down and took her seat again.

"Chamomile," she said. "It will help you sleep."

He nodded, his slim fingers tracing over the tattered, shabby handle.

"See, this is exactly what I was talking about," he sighed.

She let out a little giggle. "There were only these two cups left... so I decided to give you that one since the handle wouldn't matter! And I'll be safe from trust issues for another day, so it's a win-win." She smiled big and raised hers up by the solid handle.

"It'll catch up to you some day," he said absently. He looked a bit spaced out as he always did when he was tired.

Then, to her surprise, he leaned back and threw his left arm around the couch casually as he crossed his legs, and sipped tea with the other hand. His arm rested on the cushion behind her; not touching her, because she was sitting forward instead of leaning back, but she could feel the presence of it behind her without looking. She knew it was a common, nonchalant gesture of his; he did it sometimes to others when conversing casually, and more often to rookies when he wanted to freak the hell out of them.

Still, she had to take a long gulp of tea to hopefully relax herself. _Act natural, Petra... you're not some anxious recruit._

"What did the man look like?" He asked out of the blue as she gulped the tea down.

She scrunched her eyebrows. "Umm... what man, captain?"

"You said you got the advice about the letters from a scouting legion veteran. What did he look like?"

"Oh, him. He had dark hair and piercing blue eyes. He looked young from a distance, but up close his face looked worn and weary. Oh, and I think he had a goatee too…" she tapped a finger to her chin, straining to remember any other details from years ago.

"And an eyebrow piercing?"

"Oh yeah! He did have an eyebrow ring! Wait… did you know him?"

"Yes…" he looked down into his tea, contemplating a moment before continuing on. "His name was Anton. He joined shortly after I did. He was a very competent soldier; we were on the same elite squad for a while, under Erwin's command, back when he was just a captain. Then on one expedition, shit really hit the fan - our squad got split up and by the time we reunited it was too late for the other half. Erwin, Hanji, Anton, and I - we watched as the last of our squad got chomped in half by some fuck-face titans. We slaughtered the ugly beasts, but we were too slow to save anyone's life," he paused, taking a long sip of tea.

"Anyway, the soldier we watched getting split in half was Anton's best friend or something. And his other friends on the squad died pretty horribly too. It really fucked him up, losing them. He started talking constantly into silent rooms, carrying conversations with dead friends who weren't really there, and he threw tantrums when people tried to tell him his friends weren't there sitting next to him or whatever. He was discharged from the legion with PTSD soon after, and then I guess he started writing letters to cope with it."

"Oh, that is so awful…" Petra said, feeling a rush of cold slither down her spine. She too had watched friends die, and she knew that feeling of teetering on the brink of insanity; the sickness of grief trying to drive her to a mental breakdown - but looking up to soldiers like Levi always kept her sane. She always remembered her purpose; to be the wings of freedom for humanity; to avenge the fallen - to carry on their strength, as Levi always said, so that they will not have laid down their lives in vain. Still, horror stories from expeditions made her skin crawl, and were too close for comfort.

"Fuck, this conversation has turned awfully depressing…" he muttered, a weary look upon his face.

"Umm…" she racked her brains, trying to think of a way to change the subject. For the sake of their sanity it was best not to dwell on such horrors. "So how did we do at evaluation today?"

"You were great. You all were. As always. There's a reason I picked you."

"That's good to hear," she smiled softly. Levi didn't praise them like that often, probably so they wouldn't become overconfident, but when he did it was sincere. Suddenly she remembered the presence of his arm resting somewhere behind her. Friendly, almost. "You were great too," she added quietly, lifting her honey eyes to meet his.

He stared back at her, his pupils searching her eyes slowly as if looking for something. His bright gray eyes were flecked with a tiny amount of ice blue, and she couldn't believe she had never noticed it before.

They held each other's gaze for a beat too long and Petra felt her heart lurch, her eyelashes fluttering as she looked down out of habit.

"Tch... what did I tell you about staring, Petra..." he sighed, putting his empty teacup down and straightening the stack of papers.

"Mm.. I know..." she mumbled tiredly. "By the way, I sit up here almost every night before bed... so if you ever need help with papers, I'd be more than happy to assist."

"I think I'll take you up on that offer," he said, rubbing the space between his brows tiredly with his thumb and pointer finger. "I fucking hate these papers. They're a nightmare."

He stood up, his dark undercut framing his sunken features, which looked softened in the dim candlelight. He didn't look nearly as scary when he was dead tired. He looked smaller, more vulnerable, like he could use a hug, though she wouldn't dare. It was a cute look on him though, she thought.

"Just don't touch my hair again," he added, looking unamused.

Oh shit... had she really done that last night? She thought that was part of her dream or something... she had been so dead freaking tired... how damn embarrassing...

She quickly blew out the candle to hopefully hide her blush.

"Yes, captain," she said evenly.

"And one more thing." He stopped by the door. "Don't ever talk about my friends again."

He left, not waiting to hear her response. The honey haired girl was left gaping in the darkness, confused on how to feel about their latest interaction.

Well… at least he feels comfortable enough to have a normal conversation with me… casually… it's a start, I suppose.

Levi hadn't had friends in years - and Petra had a pretty good guess that was because he shut himself off to those possibilities. She didn't know all the details of it, but she did know his only friends had died and it had twisted a knife in his heart. He didn't want friends because he couldn't bear losing them.

He needed a friend though; she could see that now. And she wanted to be that for him. The friend who helped shoulder his burdens, who listened to his stories, his musings, his sarcastic jokes which she secretly found funny.

He acted like a larger-than-life figure to those around him - a hero, aloof and alert. But at the end of the day, when all was said and done, he was really just a man. Beneath the layers of cynicism and sarcasm was somebody who didn't deserve to face the world alone.

It would take time, but already she felt the foundations beginning to take root. Even if it meant painstakingly chipping away at the walls he'd spent years putting up, she was determined to get through to him. She would destroy the walls and build something beautiful from the rubble; slowly and surely; bit by bit and stitch by stitch.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

**This story has become addicting to write heheh. Expect more soon~**


	6. Friends

The paperwork became a routine between the two of them for the next few weeks.

Sometimes they would have their casual conversations after they finished as they sipped relaxing tea. Other times, when there was more to be done, they would work in silence until exhaustion dragged them to their beds for the night.

Levi truthfully enjoyed the company. The work was a lot less stressful when he didn't have to face it alone. And Petra was very cooperative, smart, and easy to talk to. He found himself even trying to rush through the work quickly just to be able to lean back and converse with her. He could let his guard down, late at night in the dim candlelight, and for once in his life _relax_.

They talked about anything, everything, and nothing. It didn't matter to Levi; her voice was soft and pleasant enough to make anything coming out of her mouth sound good. He learned that she was really good at math, and that she liked to ride her horse through courses she set up during her free time - which resulted in some of her more interesting scars and bruises. She was more sure of herself around him now, able to make jokes and laugh quietly.

One night she stumbled in later than usual, still in her uniform instead of her normal PJs.

"Sorry, captain, I took a short nap that turned out to be pretty long... and in my uniform too..." she said groggily, taking her seat next to him and leaning back. She ran a hand through her silky hair, like she always did when she was really sleepy.

"Christ… you don't have to help me every night, Petra. This isn't even your job... if you're tired you should sleep," Levi suggested, resisting the urge to straighten out her crumpled uniform. He didn't want her to feel as if this was an obligation.

"I want to, though," she rubbed her eyes again and then smiled kindly. "See? I'm good as new!" She flashed a wide grin.

His eyes narrowed. "Whatever you say, Petra," he sighed lightly as he slid over some papers to her. She looked a bit more alert now. "But don't push yourself if you get too tired."

"Don't worry, captain," she piped.

It was just then that he realized something that had been bothering him for the past few days.

"Didn't I tell you? You needn't be so formal with me. We're off duty."

"Captain?"

"No, I'm not your captain right now. I'm your captain from dawn to dusk. Right now, we're not superior and subordinate, we're just..." he paused, unsure how to finish that thought. What exactly were they?

"Friends," Petra offered cheerfully. He glanced sideways at her, meeting her warm, friendly gaze.

"... friends..." he agreed quietly, feeling somehow lighter. The word was foreign in his mouth, but it felt good to say. As they turned their attention back to their tasks, Levi felt different than before.

_Bad fucking idea,_ his mind told him, recalling how things always turned out when he got attached to something or someone. But fuck it all, he was already in too deep: he wasn't going to ruin the only good thing in his life; not now, for he hadn't the strength to resist her anymore. Even with just one real friend, the world suddenly seemed a lot less shitty.

The papers were a breeze that day and the time that normally dragged on and on went by in the blink of an eye.

"Here you go... Levi..." the honey-haired girl said softly as she handed him a cup of tea.

It felt good to hear her say his name intentionally; not by accident and not preceded by 'captain.' He accepted the drink and tugged at his cravat to loosen it, but accidentally undid it in the process.

"Ugh..." he remarked, annoyed but feeling too lazy to redo it. Instead he just leaned back and stretched his left arm around the couch as he always did, his collar feeling oddly exposed. It was too late for him to really give a shit.

"Hey Levi, why do you wear the cravat?" Petra asked, eyes roaming the cloth hanging around his pale neck.

Great... first the teacup question, now the cravat question. Her curiosity wasn't unusual, but it was unusual that he always felt the urge to answer the questions for her when he never answered them for anyone else. Somehow he didn't find it amusing to be difficult with her the way he was difficult with others. He supposed she had a way with him, and he wasn't sure how to feel about that.

Levi inwardly groaned. "It sets me apart from others," he explained. "When I was first dragged into the scouting legion, I didn't want to be here or wear these uniforms. There was no way to alter it except to wear something extra... a tie would have looked stupid, so I wore a cravat. It was like… my symbol of rebellion or some shit. That I wouldn't conform perfectly to their standards. I don't really know. But these days, I just wear it because I can."

"You, a rebel?" She giggled. "I never would have guessed… you are so compliant with commands."

"I am, now. I trust Erwin. But back then, I didn't like to submit. And I had this idea in my head about becoming some rich wall Sina noble. It was another reason I wore this shit," he pulled the untied cravat out from around his neck, "because I thought I would be more respected if people thought I was some rich-ass instead of what I really was… underground scum."

"So… the rumors I've heard… about how you were a criminal before joining the scouts..." Petra said quietly. "Is it true?"

Levi froze, his attention shifting from the cravat on his lap to the girl beside him.

"Yes… it's true. I grew up stealing, smuggling, and occasionally killing. It was the way I survived in that hell hole. I was a real piece of shit, Petra. I still am, in many ways," he said nonchalantly.

"You're not, Levi! A piece of shit, I mean. At least, I don't think you are," the honey-blonde soldier frowned, her gaze not meeting his eyes but instead resting on his cravat. "I bet… you only did what you were taught… what you had to do…"

"You'd do well not to overestimate me," he stated heavily, brow low over darkened gray eyes. He wasn't lying; if that innocent girl knew what was good for her, she'd stay the hell away from him. His past was fucked up, and his present was only slightly less fucked up. Circumstance had blessed him with more than a few shitty qualities.

Her only response was to turn her lips up to a small smile and take a long sip of tea.

_The hell? Does nothing faze her?_ he thought.

"Oi Petra, why do you hang out with an older man like me anyway? I'm twice your damn age."

"That's not true!" Petra exclaimed almost too quickly. "You're only, like, umm-"

"Thirty-one."

"Ohh…" she faltered for a moment, and he could see in her face that she likely pictured him as slightly younger; he suppressed the urge to smirk. "Well I'm-"

"Nineteen. I know."

"That's not what I was going to say! I meant, I'm indifferent! It doesn't matter how old you are, as long as you're you~... does that make sense?"

"Sure. Whatever you say."

She scooted back in the seat slightly, relaxing more and almost, without realizing it, resting against Levi's arm on the cushion behind her. Levi noticed, though, and frowned, wondering if he should move his arm. He was all for creeping out recruits, but Petra was his hand-picked subordinate and deserved a little more consideration.

"Really, though, I bet your boyfriend would be pissed if he found out you're hanging around with some grown-ass man late at-"

"No! Um, he wouldn't, well, you see, because I don't have a boyfriend…" she interrupted, looking flustered all of a sudden.

"Oh. Me neither," Levi joked dryly.

She laughed nervously at his joke. Their tea was finished by now, but he was waiting for her to get up first. He wasn't tired himself; not tonight. He'd rather sit awake on a couch with her than sit wide awake on his bed, unable to sleep and alone.

"How's your hand?" Levi asked, trying to dispel whatever weird awkwardness had come over her. He never understood why she randomly got flustered over little things.

"I-It's good! Only a scar now," she explained, showing him her palm. "See?"

Levi grabbed it with his free hand and held it closer, squinting at the crooked scar. It had healed well, and her hand was back to normal now, slender and soft…

_How are they so damn soft…. she's a soldier for god's sake…_ he wondered.

"Ehh?" Petra blushed. "W-What was that you said?"

He realized with a start that he must have accidentally muttered his thought aloud, judging by her expression. So much for not creeping her out. It was her own damn fault for having such impossibly smooth hands.

"Nothing," he deadpanned. He picked up the cravat from his lap and placed it in her hand. "Since you like this thing so much, how about you tie it for me."

"Wha?" She grew more flustered, to Levi's amusement. "You mean… like, around your neck?"

"Yes, genius. Around my neck."

"But.. I don't know how…!"

"Humor me."

Levi kept his eyes on her as she turned the cloth over in her hands, trying to figure out how to start. She scooted closer; he could feel her heat now. Her hands gently tucked the cloth under his shirt collar, and she kept leaning closer to get a better view. Their knees were touching, and their shoulders too; he didn't think she noticed this, but he certainly did. He closed his eyes, feeling her fumble around trying to tie it.

She spoke softly to herself as her hands worked. "Maybe… like this? No, no that's so wrong… hmmm… or is it this way...? No, that's not it either…"

He opened his eyes and stared at her, and noticed how she was slightly sticking her tongue out between her teeth in concentration. Suddenly impatient with her fretting, he smacked her hands off him.

"Ow! Levi!"

He detangled the cravat and pulled it off his neck.

"Tch. Let me just show you how."

The candlelight flickered as he straightened the cloth. He gently pushed her hair back, noting that it did indeed feel like silk, and he heard her breath catch at this gesture. Did that mean she liked it? He couldn't tell. He slipped the cravat evenly around her shirt collar and tucked it under.

"Watch my hands. I'll go slow."

It was uncertain to him whether she was actually picking up any of this, but like with the stitches, she watched intently as he tied the cravat on her and he hoped watching it made sense. It was the method of teaching he implemented with their training - learning by demonstration - and she picked up pretty well there, so he guessed it would be similarly easy to teach by example for other things as well, since she was used to it. That was his theory, at least.

When he was done tying it, he tugged at it to straighten it out. It looked funny, his cravat around her neck. Amusing, but not in a bad way. She pulled it off better than Auruo, at least.

"Oh," Petra breathed.

Levi felt her breath on his face - scented sweetly like tea - and realized how close they were. Without noticing he had been leaning in quite a bit to get a good view in the dim light. He lifted his eyes to find hers, their faces less than six inches apart.

_Amber eyes and silk hair…_ Levi felt himself being drawn in, as if he wanted to lean even closer. His brow lowered and his lips parted as he disregarded trying to make sense of this moment. Petra was frozen, wide honey eyes focused on his.

His hands were still on either side of the cravat, but he was overcome by an urge to run a hand through silky hair. So he did; very gently, he pushed a hand into her soft hair that framed her face - noting with satisfaction how her breath caught at this again - and ran his hand down.

"Levi…?" She breathed.

He moved a finger under her chin, tipping her head up ever so slightly.

_What the fuck am I even doing?_

* * *

**Just a heads up, the next chapter will continue this scene, only switching to Petra's POV.**

**Please review/fave/follow if you like this story! Thanks for reading!**


	7. Annoyances

It was hard to breathe with her captain's face just inches from hers, and it was even harder to think straight. Petra's mind and heart were alive and racing.

This was _Captain Levi_. Mere inches away from her; smelling of fresh linen and minty tea; his low brows furrowed and icy gray eyes locked on hers. And he had touched her hair, gently trailed his hand down to tilt her chin up with a slender, bony finger.

But this _was_ Captain Levi; known to invade personal space to intimidate others for sport. They were friends now, but perhaps he was still testing her for some reason.

_Yes… that must be it…_

Still, she couldn't help but think unwanted thoughts about his proximity… and about how easy it would be to close the distance between them now… and wondering how his thin lips might feel if she met them against hers…

Oh god, did she really just let her eyes wander down to his lips for a second? She immediately refocused on Levi's penetrating gaze, blushing furiously despite her best efforts, as his brows lowered and creased together ever so slightly.

"Do you understand now?" Levi said calmly.

"I- W-what? Understand what?"

He leaned in closer; only three inches from her now; his dark hair brushing against her forehead. She didn't dare breathe; he was going to figure out her unwarranted affections, if he hadn't already by her blushing, and that would be the end of their friendship.

"This," he stated quietly as she felt him give two quick tugs on the cravat tied around her neck.

"Oh… Oh! Hahah, you mean that!" She exclaimed, her voice giddy in her nervousness. She leaned back, his hands dropping from her chin and collar as she did so. "Yes! Yes, I do understand! It makes sense, Levi, tying the cravat, it does, but oh um it's kind of late hey! I should really go to sleep now!" She babbled.

Levi stared at her, slightly lifting a brow.

_Shoot… he completely thinks I'm weird now. So much for not spazzing out like a recruit._

"Goodnight, Captain Levi!" Petra chirped happily with a too-wide smile, then was quickly out of the room before he could so much as open his mouth.

"Huh. Looks like I scared her the hell away," he muttered to himself. "... maybe she just really needs to take a shit or something."

Petra only stopped once she was outside her bedroom door. She leaned against the stone wall, catching her breath and trying to make sense of what had just happened. What kind of game was he playing with her? She wasn't sure whether to feel annoyed or elated.

_Maybe I should have just freaking kissed him…_

She felt her cheeks grow warmer at the thought, her chest flutter.

_Seriously… when will I ever stop blushing?_

* * *

The expedition was only a few days away. After last week's intense trainings, this week was laid back in comparison. Training sessions were always kept short and light on expedition weeks, so that soldiers were fresh and well-rested when it really mattered.

Petra spent the extra free time writing letters to her family and socializing with others in the legion - particularly the recruits. Like everyone else, she was normally gave them a hard time, but when expeditions got closer she did her best to befriend them and soothe their anxieties. She was kind, understanding, and reassuring, doing her best to relieve their tensions and mentally prepare them so that they would have a good shot at making it through their first expedition. By Erwin's suggestions she had made this her ritual hobby in the weeks before expeditions - she liked to think it was another way to contribute towards the greater good of the scouting legion.

It was a welcome distraction that kept her mind off other things… such as her growing feelings for her captain.

Her heart fluttered when she recalled their little moment last night. It had felt so damn good to be that close to him.

She shook her head at the unwelcomed thoughts and lengthened her stride to catch up with the blonde-haired, tall recruit that just passed by.

"Louie!" She called, matching his pace next to him.

"Oh, hi Petra," he said with a sheepish smile.

"How are you holding up?"

"Ah well, I'm okay I suppose…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, Corporal Levi seemed pretty pissed at me this morning actually, apparently I didn't do a very good job cleaning out the second floor common room and he's making me redo it… in addition to extra chores," he grimaced.

Petra sighed internally. Levi was such a hard-ass about cleaning duties, and for new members who weren't used to it, it was really stressful. She'd been in that position once too…

"Don't worry, I'll help you out! We don't have training until late in the afternoon," Petra said cheerfully. She hadn't gotten to talk to Louie as much as the other new soldiers, so it was her chance to check up on how he was doing.

"You're an angel," he remarked, patting her on the back. "Marie offered to help me too, I hope you don't mind working with her."

Petra suppressed the urge to groan. Marie was also a new soldier, but one that Petra had made a habit of avoiding. She had tried to befriend her, but the girl was incredibly shallow and also kind of mean. She had some weird fixation with Erwin. But Petra couldn't just make her distaste known; not with an expedition coming up so soon.

"That's fine by me," she lied.

They worked first in the common room, tidying up the clutter and sweeping the floors. Louie was a skilled soldier; he'd been ranked 8th in his class, but he was prone to getting nervous. They discussed maneuvers, which seemed to calm him down, and Petra told a few stories of how many times teamwork had saved her life against titans, and the lives of others. He had to learn to trust his comrades; to have faith in them - it was a value she tried to instill in all rookies, because absolute trust was essential in missions.

About halfway through their cleaning effort, Louie's friend Marie walked in and Petra had to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

"Louieee~ you'll never guess what happened!" The peppy brunette squealed.

"Yeah?" He said, giving her a shy smile.

"Heheh... Erwin personally reassigned me to a different squad!"

"Uhhh... Why's that?"

"Because he cares about me! Remember that one time I had a conversation with him? I'm telling you, I made an impression," she fluttered her eyelashes.

Louie chuckled. He seemed to find her antics a bit ridiculous at times too.

"Well anyways, he dismissed everyone and he looked like he was about to talk to me more, but then GUESS WHO SHOWED UP!"

She paused, waiting for Louie to ask her. Finally, he reluctantly gave in.

"...who?..."

"Corporal-freaking-Levi, UGH!"

Petra smirked at this; Levi had put the bratty recruit in her place more than once, and the girl greatly resented it. Still, she was undoubtedly intimidated by the legion's elite captain, and grudgingly respected his authority.

"So he walks up to us with his bored, dead-ass face, and mutters something to Erwin, gives me a quick 'so unimpressed' glance, and walks off, then Erwin follows him without another word."

"How rude," Louie muttered absently as he sweeped the floor.

"I know right! I don't care how strong he is, there's no excuse for his shitty personality."

Now Petra was getting annoyed; genuinely insulting Levi in her presence was more than she could tolerate. True, he was brash, but he was her captain, her friend, and a good man - he did _not_ have a shitty personality. Just as she was about to speak up, the peppy recruit noticed her presence.

"Oh. Hi Petra." She looked the elite soldier up and down, as if scrutinizing her outfit.

_It's the damn scouting legion uniform, you idiot,_ Petra thought.

"Hi Marie," Petra said with a mocking smile. "You know, Erwin just stopped by a few minutes ago looking for you. You should go to his office and knock," she suggested.

In truth, she had overheard from Levi that the commander would be away attending to business for the better part of the afternoon. More likely than not, Levi was using the office in his absence.

"Ohh~ I better go!" Marie said, scampering off. Petra turned her back to hide her smirk. She turned her attention back to dusting and organizing the corner book shelf in silence for a while. It took some time to restock and reorder the books.

Of course... being short was ever a struggle. There were messy, crumpled papers on top of the shelf that she simply couldn't reach.

"Can you help me reach something?" She called to Louie.

No response.

"Eh? A little help here?"

She looked back only to see an empty room. But turning her head back further, she noticed, to her surprise, captain Levi slumped down on the couch.

How had she not noticed the people walking in and out?

"Ahh.. where did Louie go? And when did you get here?"

"You mean the blonde fruitcake? He was following that bratty recruit like a puppy. They interrupted my damn work... so I came here." He said, sounding especially bored. He didn't look to have any intention of doing anymore of the work. Petra had the urge to tell him he should take a quick nap, but she remembered he was still her captain by day… so she decided not to say that.

"Oh.. I just needed help reaching something up in the..." she paused, remembering Levi was only about an inch taller than her. "Ah, nevermind actually..." she trailed off, staring back up at the unreachable trash.

"Tch..." Levi scoffed. She was surprised when he walked up next to her and followed her gaze to the top shelf.

"Captain?"

He stepped in front of her, looped his arms under her waist, pulled her into him... and lifted her up.

"Ah!" She exclaimed, caught off guard.

"Get the trash, Petra," he mumbled, half his face nestled just under her chest.

_Shoot… can he hear my heartbeat? His ear is pressed to my ribcage… he must be able to… Ugh, don't blush now..._

"Y-yes captain." She put an arm around his shoulders to steady herself and reached her other arm up, clutching the crumbled trash.

"Got it!" She announced.

The strong arms around her loosened, gently letting her down safely. And leaving her, yet again, very close to Levi.

"Uhh," Petra breathed lightly, eyes fixated on icy gray orbs. Levi's hands remained firmly on her waist, and her arm was still rested around his neck, but for some reason she didn't dare to move it. Her other hand hung at her side, clutching the trash awkwardly.

Levi leaned in closer, three inches - no, less; his forehead brushed hers - was this it? Breathing shallow, Petra closed her eyes and parted her lips in anticipation, taking in his intoxicating scent, his minty breath on her.

Instead, she felt his cheek brush hers as he moved; his lips now hovering by her ear.

"You're welcome," he said in a low, quiet voice. It was an odd tone on him; deeper than usual… sexier… a chill ran up her spine and she did her best not to show it.

What was going on? Was he… teasing her? Did he realize he was driving her crazy?

Feeling incredibly bold, and somewhat daring, she took a step forward so that their bodies were once again pressed to each other; noting with satisfaction how his breath hitched at the unexpected advance.

Pocketing the trash, she threw her other arm around his neck as well and clutched him tighter, resting her head against his. It was only a hug - she had given thousands of them - but this one was the only one that felt utterly perfect. Their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces.

And now it was her turn to tease. "Why thank you, Levi," she breathed into his ear, and to her relief he tightened his arms around her waist, pulling her closer as well.

"Pet-"

"Aye PETRA! I'm coming back! Sorry for going!" Louie's voice rang down the hallway, fast approaching the common room entrance.

"Fu-… damn candy-ass rookie," Levi muttered, his arms dropping from Petra's waist as he took a step back. She unwound her arms quickly from his neck, and also took a few steps back, mourning the cold feeling in contrast to where his warm body had just been against hers.

The tall blonde recruit strolled in, oblivious to their exchange.

"Oi fruitcake, Petra's too damn good for you. This room better be fucking spotless, or you're going to be my squad's hand-to-hand combat dummy next week," Levi said coldly, shoving a broomstick at Louie on his way out. Petra shrugged at the stricken-looking recruit and nonchalantly turned back to her work.

* * *

That night, Levi was almost falling asleep over his work.

"I'm not that damn tired," he tried to tell Petra, but the bags underneath his eyes betrayed him. She knew him better than that.

She didn't press him on the subject though; and he didn't object when she slid the remaining papers he was working on over to her side of the table. He only gave her a quick glance, then leaned back, resting his arm around the couch and crossing his legs like he always did.

It felt like he was watching her as she worked quickly on the last few papers, but she didn't dare look back to see if she was right. Only after she forged Levi's signature on the last document, looping the letters just like he'd taught her to, did she chance a look at him.

His eyes were shut; face relaxed.

_Oh... he fell asleep.._

She scooted back, leaning onto the couch cushion. The force of her back hitting the cushion made Levi's arm slip, falling onto her shoulders. Petra abruptly flinched; her eyes darting to short man's face. Thankfully he was still asleep; she let out a breath of relief.

Then she let it sink in… Levi's arm, around her shoulders. It was something so simple that felt so damn nice, although he was sleeping and unaware of it, which she couldn't decide whether that was a good or bad thing. She let herself relax into it, positioning herself closer to him so their legs almost touched… almost.

"Oi…"

Petra's head snapped up, meeting Levi's sidelong glance from half-lidded eyes. She wasn't going to freak out and run away this time; she would not.

"Hi… I finished, Levi. You can go back to sleep if you want…"

"... closer…" he mumbled, closing his eyes again.

"Huh?"

"Get closer," he flexed his arm and pulled her in to lean against his chest. In response she closed the remaining distance between their legs and leaned her head in the pit of his shoulder; between his bony collar bone and the base of his neck, her cheek brushing his still-tied cravat.

"Better?"

"...better…" he agreed, lightly resting his head on hers.

He seemed so comfortable, and listening to his calm, rhythmic breathing, Petra felt comfortable too. Perhaps this was a fluke, or a dream, but his arm around her and her head nuzzled against him felt perfect; natural, like two pieces of a puzzle finally fitting together.

She laced her fingers with his, subconsciously, as if by instinct. It just felt like the right thing to do. He was probably sleeping again by now - but not deeply. If she got up, she would wake him.

_Perhaps I can stay for a little while… a small nap couldn't hurt,_ she thought as she closed her eyes to the dim candlelight, finally giving in to exhaustion.

* * *

**Hey everyone! Sorry for not updating in a while; I've been very busy with school. I'll try to update once a week if I can.**

**So heheh... your face when they didn't kiss - D:**

**Blame Petra, not me! I'm sure you all won't be disappointed by the next chapter though, so stay tuned!**

**Thanks for reading, and thank you for all the reviews/faves/follows, keep em coming if you like this story!**


	8. Unraveled

_Voices._

There were voices all around Levi, but he couldn't quite make out what they were saying; not yet. He strained to hear.

"Should we wake him up…? Or…?"

"I am not touching him! If you wanna get your ass handed to you then go ahead!"

"Guys, leave Corporal Levi alone! Can't you see he's tired?"

_Petra?_

"Ha! Levi's sleeping? I have an interesting hypothesis, that if we throw something at him-"

_Ugh. Hanji._

"What?" Several voices called out.

"Ahem… If we throw something at him, then blame Petra, he won't do anything about it~"

"Ehh! Guys!"

_So damn annoying._

"Fuck off. All of you." Levi growled without opening his eyes.

He heard a few shushed "Oh shit"s and a scrambling of feet as what sounded like a crowd dispersed and quietly shuffled out. When he opened his eyes a few minutes later, the room was vacant save for his squad, quietly conversing in the opposite corner of the room.

Gunther and Erd seemed to be debating something trivial, while Auruo and Petra were reclined back on the corner couch. Auruo was imitating Levi's usual stance of crossing his legs and arms, but then switched to another imitation, swinging his arm around the back of the couch - but intentionally landing on Petra's shoulders. He leaned over and muttered something indiscernible to her.

Petra scowled at him and removed his arm, and as they bickered Levi recalled the strange dream he'd had last night… where the strawberry-blonde girl was resting underneath his arm, snuggled against his chest; breathing lightly, her hair smelling like honey… and feeling the nice, pleasant warmth of her body against his.

What the actual hell had that been about? Urgh, it wasn't like him to crave the presence of random female subordinates…

He huffed, about to stand up when something caught his eye. A single, long strand of hair on his shoulder; he picked it up gingerly, scrutinizing the amber strand.

Well shit… perhaps it hadn't been a dream after all. He wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. She must have left before anyone saw them together; that much was certain, thankfully.

Levi dropped the strand, regaining his apathetic composure and getting up. He'd fallen asleep in his clothes, which was rather gross when he thought about it, so he was itching to get out of them and into clean ones.

"Captain!" Erd called from across the room, saluting as he approached. "We've been awaiting your orders, sir. What will you have us do today?"

Levi blinked, still rather groggy. "Nothing. The expedition is tomorrow. Rest, conserve your energy, and don't do anything stupid with your time off."

He made the mistake of making eye contact with Petra from across the room. He inhaled sharply as he felt her honey eyes thawing his icy composure, his mouth stupidly agape for a moment as he took in how damn cute she looked out of nowhere. And what was that peculiar look in her eyes?

_Has she always looked at me that way? And why the hell does she have this effect on me? Ugh…_

Hoping that nobody noticed his momentary lapse, Levi tore his gaze away from Petra and sulked out of the common room. He wasn't feeling like himself today; that was probably just it. After a long shower and some cleaning of his room, the strange feeling in the pit of his stomach would fade.

The feeling didn't fade, however, and continued to nag him even as he sat in the supply room later, routinely inspecting his equipment. He had noticed a loose screw the other day during training and needed to tighten it before the expedition so it wouldn't become a problem. But instead of titans and strategy, all he could think about was candlelight and honey hair as he repaired his gear.

Levi grimaced and decided to go find Hanji. As annoying as she could be sometimes, she had a better grasp on understanding human relationships than Levi did.

"Moblit! Fetch me my notebook and- oh. You're not Moblit," Hanji huffed, looking Levi over as he stood by the door of her office. There were several desks with various papers strewn about in messy clusters; organized chaos, as Hanji called it, but to Levi it just looked like a plain mess.

"May I ask you something?" Levi said, fighting the urge to scowl at the mess. He couldn't be completely rude if he wanted her honest opinion.

"Go for it, champ," she said absently while flipping through one of her notebooks.

"When two people are… friends… hypothetically, is it acceptable for them to lean on each other? As friends?"

"Ehh? What kind of question is that?" Hanji peered up from under her glasses.

"Some damn recruits…" he muttered. While being involved with a comrade wasn't strictly against the scouting legion rules, it was often discouraged; more likely than not the individuals were re-assigned to separate squads so their feelings wouldn't cloud their judgment during expeditions. Levi could easily pretend this was the case for his question… Hanji would give an honest answer if she believed he was only asking to figure out what should be done between two potentially involved recruits.

"Hmmm. I'd have to say that's rather borderline. Based on my observations of human behavior, it could go either way."

"So…?"

Hanji sighed. "I'd say if they're just leaning on each other every once in a while it's most likely just a friendship thing. If we re-assigned every pair of friends who leaned on each other from time to time, we'd be up to our eyeballs with transfer papers."

"I see," Levi said, silently letting out a breath of relief as he turned away. What he had with Petra - and what they'd done - was still within the realms of friendship. Perfectly normal. And he was determined to keep it that way; he had strange feelings about letting things progress any further, and he didn't want such things to impair his judgment. Having a friend was nice, and surely she felt the same way - after all, she was still a teenager and he was far older, so it wouldn't make sense any other way. And as friends, it was normal to let her lean on him; that small piece of comfort was all he really needed anyway.

So that night, even though there were no more papers left to fill out, he sat up in the common room reading the newspaper and scowling at the headlines. The tension around headquarters was uncomfortable, especially due to the unusually high volume of new recruits who had yet to experience an expedition. Being alone was quite a relief, whether the honey-haired girl showed up or not.

The whiskey was also helping him relax -_ though perhaps I should slow down,_ he thought, blinking in a sudden daze.

"Levi?"

Levi nodded towards Petra, her figure appearing at the door just as he guessed it would. He frowned at his glass, hoping he didn't smell too much like alcohol.

"I had a feeling you'd be here," she said softly, running her hand back through her hair like she always did when she was tired. She took her seat next to him, tugging at her uniform to straighten it out. She appeared to be a bit strung up.

"You're.. drinking?" She blinked.

"Fuck off," the corporal instinctively grumbled, a bit forcefully. Immediately he wanted to take it back; she didn't deserve his shittiness, but the alcohol always made him especially vulgar.

His soldier only frowned, though, unfazed but reaching out and gently wresting the glass from his hand. Levi blinked, too surprised by her bold action to resist.

"That's enough for you, then," she sighed, downing the rest of the liquid.

_The fuck? Did she really just…?_

"You're unbelievable," he groaned, too intrigued to be irritated. She had such fucking nerve when it came to him, but for some reason he always just let her get away with it… perhaps because in a way she fascinated him.

"I know… but you drink to relax, right? Well it helps me relax too, so I figured you could share. That's all I wanted to do tonight… to just be able to relax…" she trailed off, still seeming strung up. Even after many successful expeditions, it seems that the nerves still did have a bit of an effect on her.

"Relax, huh," Levi muttered, casually resting his arm around her shoulders and gracelessly pushing her into him. "This relaxing enough for you?"

"Ah! I-I… well, yes," she stammered, a slight pink rising on her cheeks. It was the first time he had ever truly seen her blush; she was fierce and didn't seem like the type but… damn was it fucking cute on her.

He was relieved that she overlooked his brash rudeness… why did he have such a hard time being nice? She was right… they both needed to relax. "We're… friends…" he muttered, closing his eyes as she closed the distance between their bodies.

"... friends…" she whispered back, nuzzling her head on his shoulder. She seemed to crave the warmth as much as he.

"Oh! I just remembered something!" She shot up after a minute.

Levi groaned, not budging. "What is it?" Damn girl… Didn't she just say we should both relax?

"There's a lunar eclipse tonight! I wanted to show you!"

"A what? What the hell are you talking about?" He grumbled, cracking an eye open to look at her radiant, beaming face. She seemed awfully excited for someone trying to relax.

"A lunar eclipse! Don't be silly, you must have seen one before! They're strangely beautiful in the night sky, a real sight," Petra exclaimed, standing up.

Levi glanced up at her. "I only got to see the night sky a handful of times for twenty-six years of my life, Petra. You act like I'm supposed to know these things," he scowled, truthfully feeling a bit insecure about the fact that he didn't know. His shitty upbringing always seemed to find ways to haunt him in the present.

She showed no pity however - only an optimistic smile as she tugged at his hand. "Always a first for everything then, right?"

"Sure," he deadpanned, allowing himself to be led out of the room by the peppy girl. It was funny in a way. The captain being dragged around by his younger, smaller, female subordinate.

After quietly ascending a few flights of stairs, Petra huffed in dismay upon finding the door to the roof locked.

"Ugh! Damn thing is never locked, until today," she complained, rattling the door in frustration.

"Bloody hell Petra, calm down… there are other ways up," Levi said, this time beckoning her on and leading. After a short walk through some of the narrower, more obscure passages of the fourth floor, they came to an open window. The stone around was weathered and worn, but the opening was big enough to fit through.

Levi vaulted casually through the opening, dropping down to a small balcony below; and hearing, to his amusement, a gasp from Petra.

"Oi, I'm not actually suicidal," he called as her bewildered face peered out the window, then registered the balcony just below. It was still a bit of a drop, but she handled it gracefully.

"Of course," she breathed, landing next to him.

Levi leaned back against the stone wall, crossing his arms and glancing up at the mostly clear night sky. The stars never ceased to amaze him when he actually took the time to stop and observe them - which wasn't often in his busy life. But it was because of this that he was breath taken by view, and by the sheer magnitude of the night sky. Generations lived and died all while the stars barely blinked. The universe cared nothing of humanity and titans and ugly deaths. It was overwhelmingly to think about, and honestly a bit depressing.

"The moon is that way," Petra pointed, leaning next to Levi. The partial moon was blood-red, in stark contrast with the pale stars. Levi blinked, puzzled by the sight.

"You see, when the Earth lines up directly in between the moon and the sun… the moon burns red. I'm not exactly sure why though, but probably Hanji would know," Petra explained. "It will get fuller too! If you watch for a few more minutes, it will be a full red moon. It's really quite odd."

They watched quietly for another minute until a cloud rolled in and obscured the view.

"Ahh, stupid cloud," Petra groaned in dismay, slumping down to sit against the wall.

"I guess clouds are some really shitty brats sometimes," Levi said, to which Petra giggled. He took a seat on the tattered crate next to her and rubbed her head affectionately. "And only you would ever find my shitty jokes funny," he sighed. He barely found them funny himself; Petra really amazed him at times. She reminded him of Isabel, his dead friend, in some ways… but their friendship was different; he could never consider Petra like a sister.

"Shoot, I should have sat there instead," she mumbled, eyeing the crate. It was probably more comfortable than the ground.

"You can sit here if you want," Levi said absently, gazing up at the patch of sky that wasn't obscured by clouds.

"Thanks," she got up. "Err are you gonna.. umm… scoot over?"

"No space to. You're light; just sit on me. I don't really care."

"Ehh?! On you..?"

"Like this," Levi deadpanned, exasperated, pulling her waist and sitting her gently sideways on his right leg. Her breath caught and she tensed.

"Friends do this, Petra," he lied. This was probably traversing beyond the realm of friendship, and he knew it too, but it felt damn nice. Then again, the fact that he enjoyed this made him feel like a creepy old pervert, especially with her tensing up. Maybe he had misinterpreted what she was comfortable with.

"Ahh.. of course," she said, looking down to hide her blush. "It's… nice… as f-friends…"

"Relax. You're making me feel like a damn creep," he scowled, feeling strangely vulnerable to what she thought of him. He loosened his grip around her waist.

"No, it's nice," she said, willing herself to relax. "Beats sitting on the floor," she exhaled, relaxing into him. He met her eyes briefly, finding that same peculiar look in her honey orbs as before, but she quickly looked away, up to the cloud that still obscured the lunar eclipse.

"We're gonna miss the best part," she sighed.

Levi glanced briefly at the cloud as well and decided to change the subject. "Why do you keep alcohol in your room anyway? I remember you saying that."

Petra met his gaze again, taken a bit aback by the question.

"Oh… well... ah, I don't like to admit this…"

"It's fine. I'm not angry. Curious, rather."

"The alcohol... it helps me drown out the sadness when it becomes too much for me sometimes. Not often… just… sometimes after particularly brutal days, when I can't get the visions of my comrades being slaughtered like sheep out of my mind," She fidgeted, staring down at her palms. "Or... when I remember certain friends that I watched die. Today, it was when I thought of who it might be tomorrow… of all the new recruits who still don't even understand what they've gotten themselves into. Of just how many of them won't be coming back, and how many of them will be watching their friends get eaten. Some days I'm just too overwhelmed to cope with it on my own… I know it must sound kind of pathetic to you…"

"Tch, you might as well pour it all down the drain," Levi scowled.

"But… what am I going to do when I feel that way then?" Petra bit her lip.

"When you feel that way, come to me. I'll be all the damn intoxication you need," Levi said in a low tone. He meant it, too. Drinking to drown out sadness was a slippery slope that he'd seen too many good soldiers fall victim to. He wasn't about to let it happen to Petra; he would do whatever the hell she wanted him to, if that's what it took.

"Levi…" she breathed, wide honey eyes trained on his face. He couldn't meet her innocent gaze; he couldn't look. She was being just too fucking cute and it completely ruined the impassive composure that he had spent all the years of his life building up. It was enough that she said his name like that, in her sweet voice... if he met her eyes now, his cold wall of ice would melt to liquid in an instant.

So instead he glanced down at his cravat, noticing an ugly smudge of dirt that somehow got on it.

"Ugh," Levi groaned, untying it and pulling it off. "Filthy dirt…"

"Oh! That reminds me," Petra began, suddenly fumbling for something inside her uniform jacket, "I was going to give this back to you!" She pulled out the cravat that she had run off with the other day, after he'd shown her how to tie it.

"Don't worry, I washed it for you and everything," she assured, as if reading his thoughts.

"Good. Do you remember how to tie it?"

"I-I think so…"

"Go on, then," Levi said boredly, gazing blankly ahead with half-lidded eyes. He was determined to keep up his demeanor; he may be Petra's friend, but he was still fucking _Lance Corporal Levi_, and he would not allow himself to be undone; not even by the impossibly cute girl on his lap.

It was a bit like deja vu, though he couldn't help but notice her hands trembled slightly. Despite this, her movements were more sure as she began, tucking the cloth underneath his collar.

"Levi… ahh.. did you really mean that?"

"Mean what."

"When you said… if I feel that way…I could, you know, come to you and..."

"I meant it."

"D-do you understand… how I feel…?"

"You explained it. It's not that unusual for soldiers to despair. You're only human."

"No I mean umm," she tugged at the cravat, straightening it out, perfectly tied. "How I f-feel about… ah... my feelings f-for-"

"What? Spit it out already," Levi said impatiently, now genuinely confused. He couldn't stand when people beat around the bush; Petra hardly ever did, but now... What the bloody hell is she going on about?

"Levi… I…"

There it was again; the eyes that could melt him. But this time he made the grave mistake of meeting them with his; his heart lurched and the irritated words he meant to say got caught in his throat. Then he felt her give a sharp tug on his cravat, sending him forward and…

Into Petra's lips. It took him a second to register it. Petra was kissing him, her eyes squeezed shut and soft lips locked onto his.

_Fuck, this feels good,_ he thought, not even bothering to resist. Friends definitely didn't kiss each other like this, but fuck that. He closed his eyes and pulled her closer, kissing back forcefully.

Her lips tasted sweet and were so damn soft and gentle; he had never even thought about kissing her before but just then he didn't want to stop. Their mouths moved together, hesitantly but with an unrealized passion.

"Ah," she breathed, breaking their kiss momentarily to re-adjust herself. She placed her knees on either side of the crate, facing him as she straddled his lap. He took the opportunity to wind his arms around her waist, pulling her tightly into him.

"Damn you, Petra, catching me off-guard like that," he growled, his usual scowl gracing his features. She whimpered adorably, biting a trembling lip apologetically. "Now you've got me all fucking worked up… tch, I'm not letting you get off easy for this," he breathed an inch from her lips, voice husky with desire. He could hardly believe the low, thick voice was his, but all he knew is that right now he wanted her, no, needed her, so he crashed his lips on hers.

It felt damn near perfect when she ran her hands through his hair and pressed her waist onto his. Her lips were passionate and just as hungry as his; she responded likewise when he slipped his tongue in, and they continued to heatedly make out for a few minutes.

Petra finally relented, pulling back and gasping for air as Levi grunted and moved down to her neck, nibbling the soft, smooth flesh.

"Ah," she moaned, panting. "Levi, p-please… give me a… m-moment," she stammered.

Levi reluctantly pulled back, taking in her flushed face and dazed, half-lidded eyes. Her lip quivered; in fact, she was trembling all over, he just noticed. He had never seen her so much as quiver… was this really all because of him?

"Why are you shaking so damn bad? Do I make you nervous?"

"Ehh? Who's s-shaking?"

Levi reached behind his neck and picked up one of her trembling hands, holding it out in front of her eyes for her to see. The same hand he'd stitched up all those weeks ago, now trembling before the both of them.

"Mmm," she chewed her lip harder, creased her brows in evident embarrassment, and then buried her face in the crook of his shoulder, as if trying to hide.

_You're too fucking cute_, he thought for perhaps the hundredth time that night. He sighed and moved her hand to rest over his chest; over his own frantic, hammering heartbeat. He closed his eyes and pressed her hand there, still panting slightly to catch his breath.

"It's not just you, Petra… tch..." he muttered into her shoulder, scowling out of pure habit but feeling completely vulnerable now. If this was her plan to completely undo him, it was fucking working - he could feel himself unraveling at the seams every moment she stayed on his lap, flush against him, buried in his shoulder and listening to his rapid heart.

"That fucking cloud still hasn't moved," he pointed out in a deadpan, kn_owi_ng that was probably the least of their worries right now.

* * *

**Hi, Hope you all liked this chapter heheh, was fun to write :P**

**Just like before, this is cut-off mid scene because it will be continued from Petra's POV! Stay tuned~**

**Please drop a fave/follow/review if you are enjoying this story! :D**


	9. Open wounds

Levi's heart was racing beneath her shaky fingertips, his hand holding hers in place as he breathed in hitches. Petra's own heart felt ready to burst.

One kiss had sealed her fate. Her affections for her captain were more than just affections now - she was falling fast; fast and hard. His proximity was intoxicating; his pine scent, his warm body, his deep voice that sent chills down her spine.

In other words, him.

_Get a grip_… she thought. Not even titans made her nervous and shaky like this. She was not a timid, shy, fragile little girl - she was fierce, goddammit. How was it that Levi could always shatter that with a single touch? And yet… it felt so good… and as she leveled her breathing and regained confidence, she remembered how strong Levi made her feel, too. With him by her side… together, they were unstoppable.

Her hand absently scratched the fuzzy lower part of his undercut, which earned a low hiss from him.

"I thought I told you not to touch my damn hair," Levi muttered, snaking his arms around her waist and again nibbling on her neck. She instinctively gasped, eyelashes fluttering and breath catching. The sensation was overwhelming, making her weak in the hands and knees all over again.

"You also told me you're not my captain when we're off duty… so I don't have to listen to you," she teased, winding her hands into the soft raven strands. He grunted, his soft nibbles becoming rougher and turning into bites down her neck.

"Ow! Stop, please."

Levi huffed, reluctantly pulling back. He looked unamused.

"Well what the hell do you want from me?"

"I… ahh… I just want to kiss you…"

"Then kiss me. Not like I can really go anywhere." He was pinned up against a corner with her on top, after all.

She took his statement the wrong way.

"Ah! I'm sorry," Petra exclaimed, unwinding herself from him and standing up. The clouds were getting increasingly darker, so she couldn't read Levi's expression in the darkness, but she immediately missed his warmth.

"You're sorry?" Levi said in a low voice, standing up and grabbing her waist. Petra winced a little, remembering that Levi hated when people threw around that word. Oops.

"You should be sorry, little girl," he growled, pulling her closer. "You and your damned cuteness, you just couldn't keep to yourself, could you?"

"Levi, I-"

He didn't wait for her to finish that thought - he cut her off with his lips. A thrill pulsed through Petra's veins as she responded, moving her mouth in sync with his, still a bit shaky but more confident now. It felt better than she had ever imagined.

The bliss was short lived, however.

"Rain," Levi mumbled against her lips, breaking apart and glancing up briefly. "I hate rain," he growled.

Petra looked up as well, her lips parted in surprise at the sudden rain. The droplets rolled off her cheeks. She probably wouldn't have noticed for a while had he not brought it up; she had been so intoxicated by his lips. She frowned too, not hating rain but hating the fact that it had to intrude on their moment and pull Levi away from her.

"Let's get inside. Wet clothes feel disgusting," Levi said, smoothly jumping up to the window ledge. Petra followed, climbing in just as the rain was becoming a torrential downpour.

Levi seemed pensive as he glanced out at the rain, and Petra couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. Even in the faint moonlight it wasn't hard to see the bags under his eyes and the weary mask he wore.

It was hard to see him like that. She cared for him. Carefully, she grabbed his hand and made to interlace their fingers.

"We have an expedition tomorrow. I expect you and the others to be up and ready tomorrow morning, in your best form," Levi said, his voice laced with a familiar authority, gently tearing his hand away from hers while keeping his gaze fixed forward. He sounded different than moments before - incredibly distant; her captain through and through, no longer her friend.

Without sparing her a glance, Levi turned to leave.

"Get a good night's rest, Petra. That's an order."

"Levi…" she said softly, into the air. He was gone already, leaving only confusion in his wake.

_But how can he just kiss me like that… and then become cold as ice moments later? Ugh…_. she lamented, casting another mournful glance outside before turning her back on the window.

She must have hit a wall - perhaps she'd gone too far, she worried, chewing her bottom lip. Friends or not, he was still her captain at the end of the day, and she his subordinate; that would never change, and it would always lurk beneath the surface of any interaction. Kissing her superior was crossing a definite border.

Although her heart ached with longing, she knew Levi was right. The mission came first. It was important for her and the squad's survival that she be well rested.

So Petra forced the persistent thoughts of her captain out of her head and slept.

* * *

Morning came sooner than she would have liked.

Expedition days were always utterly hectic as last minute preparations were made. A lot of squads also had ritual pep-talks from their leaders, but of course the Special Ops squad didn't get any of that from Levi. Not that they needed it.

"Don't get yourselves killed," was his only sentiment as the squad stood in the precession atop their mounts, waiting for the gate to open.

Petra was positioned behind him to his right. She couldn't stop staring at his shoulders; there was nothing better to look at while they waited anyways. For some reason she was always drawn to his shoulders. They were broader than hers, but not by much. He just looked so damn good from behind.

Petra blinked, averting her eyes finally and shaking off the thoughts. A lot had happened last night, but she had to set all those memories and feelings aside for the day.

A light mist from last night's rain permeated the air. The day was damp and cloudy, but not rainy quite yet. Rain would be a bad sign, Petra knew, as signal flares didn't work in the rain but titans still did.

_The reason Levi hates rain probably has something to do with that,_ she thought.

Finally the dull roar of the gate being lifted echoed through the Trost district.

"Let the 53rd Recon mission commence!" Commander Erwin shouted. The survey corps cheered, and the steady beat of galloping hooves began.

The mission objective was clear: extend the supply route another few miles towards Shiganshina.

Trudging through mud slowed the entire formation down to an almost sluggish pace.

"Disgusting," Levi mumbled as the mud picked up by hooves continued to splatter across his boots. His squad was positioned in the middle second row, but was to take the front soon. Their objective was to establish the supply route up to a giant abandoned city, and the plan relied on elite soldiers spearheading the formation to clear away nearby titans while the base was set up.

At the end of the day, the mission was a great success; only a handful of soldiers perished and a handful more were injured, which was a good record for the survey corps.

It wasn't until the formation was back safely inside wall Rose that Petra noticed Levi's injury.

"Good work today. You're dismissed," Levi said to his team upon returning to headquarters. It was dusk now, with night falling fast.

"Sir!" They saluted in unison, thankful to their captain for seeing them through another successful mission.

"Ral, come with me," he said, turning his back and walking away. Petra followed and waved to her weary teammates as they dispersed, Gunther looking particularly exhausted and Auruo looking cocky but also tired. Erd gave a peculiar glance to Levi, which was not missed by Petra, before following the other two out.

She trailed quietly behind him, noticing how his shoulders sagged more than this morning. They always betrayed his weariness after expeditions; the weariness that was incredibly plain in any other soldier, but that Levi showed almost no trace of. Almost. But Petra knew him; and she noticed the fine details, like the way he held his shoulders. Behind his steely, hardened eyes and impassive composure, Levi was only human too. The thought that he wasn't invincible was both scary and comforting… and oddly endearing, in a way.

"Captain?" Petra spoke softly as they entered his office, breathing in the familiar scent of pine. He closed the door behind her before casually shrugging off his green cloak. That's when Petra saw the front left side of his jacket and shirt was soaked through with blood.

Her eyes widened for a moment and she managed not to gasp.

"Do you remember how to perform stitches? I'm going to need some," he said evenly, shrugging off his soiled jacket to reveal an equally stained white shirt. The deep red was in shocking contrast with the white; the amount of blood that must have gone into it was startling.

"Captain! That's serious... You need medics for that!"

"What I need are properly sterilized tools. The medics don't always sanitize needles between patients in the rush to get things done," he scoffed lightly, removing a first aid kit from his desk. "If you're not comfortable doing it, send for a medic to come to my office."

Petra bit her lip, torn over what to do. Even though there weren't many injuries on the day's expedition, the medics would still be tending to the severe ones diligently. She would hate to drag any away from their job to stitch up Levi when she could probably do it herself… probably.

_He trusts me enough to come to me. I should trust myself as well,_ she decided.

"I'll do my best, captain."

Levi nodded, unbuttoning his shirt and peeling it off. Petra blinked, trying not to blush at the sight of his well-muscled chest and toned arms. The muscles were defined to perfection.

_Holy crap… he is so jacked…_

More pressing, however, was the long diagonal gash trailing from his left collar bone to his armpit. Dry blood caked much of his left side, and although the wound wasn't pouring blood it did still look to be bleeding mildly.

Levi tossed her a wet rag and calmly took a seat atop his desk, gaze fixed boredly ahead.

Petra approached slowly until she was almost touching him. The proximity brought to memory their previous closeness the night before, and the wildfire of feelings that came with it. Her hand faltered; she had to suppress those thoughts, banish them to where they had lain dormant all day, during the mission. Her and Levi were alone now, and very close, but she was still on duty and he was still her captain. That much was clear by his demeanor - his air of authority.

"I don't have all night," Levi stated, an edge of impatience in his tone.

"Yes, sir," she said, leaning closer and gently placing a hand on his bare shoulder while using the other to dab at the blood with the wet rag. Since he was sitting on desk, she had to stand between his legs to get a good angle on the wound. From mere inches away, his body heat was considerable and near irresistible.

She blocked out the intrusive thoughts and concentrated on the task at hand. This made it easier; her heartbeat calm and hands steady. She tuned in to his even breathing, but still couldn't help admiring his shirtlessness as she wiped the blood off his upper abs and chest. He made no reaction as she pressed the rag to the gash to pick up the rest of the blood.

"You're going to need antibacterial product on that so it doesn't get infected, I'll go grab some from-"

"I have it," he said, unceremoniously pressing a can to her free hand. "Just make it quick. Damn spray hurts like a bitch."

"Yes, captain," she said as she lifted the rag from the wound. She shook the can and gave it a quick spray, to which Levi winced and cursed quietly under his breath. He regained his solemn composure a moment later.

Petra smiled apologetically, preparing the needle and twine how he had once shown her. Without wasting a moment, she delicately punctured the needle into his skin and began sewing up the wound. He closed his eyes, incredibly calm despite the fact that it probably stung.

"Um… permission to speak freely, captain?" She said after getting the hang of the stitching process.

Levi cracked his eyes open, focusing them on her concentrated face.

"Permission granted, Petra, you needn't be so formal with me."

"Oh... well I was wondering how you got this injury. What happened?"

He exhaled lightly, closing his eyes again. "An inexperienced soldier wasn't paying much attention to her surroundings and got in my way. To avoid collision I had to quickly change course, causing my shoulder to scrape a sharp edge of a roof."

He didn't seem pleased about it. From what Petra could recall, Levi almost never got a scratch on him during expeditions. His skill normally enabled him to avoid injury, but some circumstances couldn't be helped.

"In hindsight, collision may not have been so bad. She ended up swinging to her own death," he added flatly.

"Oh, that's unfortunate," she breathed, not knowing what else to say. She hadn't been near Levi at the time to witness the situation, but a fallen soldier was never good to hear about, no matter how inexperienced.

"Yes, it's unfortunate. But I have no regrets. I did what I thought best given the circumstance. That's all we can ever do," he mused, his voice low and soft. It was a different tone than what most people heard from him. He was finally relaxing now - giving her a rare glimpse into his humanity, and trusting her with it.

Petra nodded, adjusting her hands slightly on his chest to get a better angle at her work. The job was almost done; only a few more stitches were required.

"That should do it," she said, cutting the twine after tying the last stitch. She lingered for a moment, looking at the neat row of stitches that now sealed his wound. It looked like a damn good job for her first time, she thought. With a clean rag she gently patted it clean again.

_I should probably remove my hands from his chest right about now,_ she told herself, but her hands wouldn't budge. Levi's eyes were still closed, his breathing still even; he looked calm, peaceful even, clearly at ease with her touch.

With her left hand still patting at the sealed gash, she let her right slowly trail down to his abs, thumb grazing the end of his ribcage. No reaction.

_Damn his abs are nice,_ she thought, now blatantly staring at them. Casting another quick glance at his still-calm face, she slowly let her hand trace down even further, towards his hipbone, all the while admiring his rigid abdominal muscle.

Suddenly Levi's breath caught, his eyes snapped open, and his hand landed on top of hers, preventing her from continuing her exploration.

"What happened last night was a fluke. A lapse of judgment," he said seriously, icy gray eyes boring into her.

Petra's heart lurched, her stomach sinking and her heart catching in her throat, but she responded immediately, without missing a beat.

"I agree completely, captain," she replied, lifting her eyes to meet his icy gaze. She hoped he couldn't detect the insincerity in her voice. She wasn't sure why she had said that when she certainly didn't mean it, and she wasn't sure why she refused to look away from his gaze, his eyes looking as if they were searching hers for something. She was completely flustered, as he always managed to make her, but she was learning how to internalize the feeling, though she was probably still doe-eyed. It was like before; their eye contact lasting too long, outside the realms of normal.

But the look in his eyes was so peculiar, his diligence so entrancing that it captivated her. His eyes narrowed, an unspoken tension paramount between them and growing.

_What is going on behind those silver orbs? What is he thinking?_

Levi lowered his brows, creasing them together slightly in an odd expression that she had never seen on him. His hand closed around hers, lifting it off his torso. He leaned forward, eyes closing and lips crashing into hers.

She kissed back hungrily, her mouth synchronizing with his, a warmth spreading from her chest to her fingertips and her cheeks. Her left hand dropped the rag and slid up between his neck and shoulder as his lips ravished hers.

After a long moment her senses finally returned.

"Wait, captain," she breathed, drawing back slightly and feeling his scowling reaction. "You just said… it was a lapse… in-"

"Fuck what I said," Levi breathed back thickly, sliding down from his desk to stand pressed against her in all his shirtlessness and body heat. He wasted no time claiming her lips again, his arms winding around her waist tightly.

Petra could feel herself growing drunken from his kiss and his hot, muscular body pressed against hers, her hands roaming his bare chest; but a tiny voice made her pull back again.

"Levi, we're... in your... office," she gasped out between kisses.

"We're in my… fucking office," he deadpanned back, not seeming to care an ounce as he continued to passionately kiss her.

Her knees felt shaky suddenly as she ran her hands down his smooth chest and carved abs, landing down near his hipbones. A low, guttural noise came from Levi's throat as he sneered against her lips.

"Only you would have the fucking nerve to touch me like that," he mumbled against her lips. "You're so fucking troublesome…"

He was being more vulgar than usual, his voice laced with a hungry desire which Petra found damn sexy. He was so… _manly_… and as his mouth and tongue pressed deeper and harder into hers, she felt her breath getting shallower, her heart nearly bursting, her fingertips trembling; and her legs feeling like they could give out if he wasn't holding on to her. She ran her hands back up his chest, over his shoulders and around his neck, clutching onto him.

"Petra," he growled, his mouth trailing down to her delicate neck. "Give in," he said, ravaging her neck as she gasped for air. "Don't fight it… just give in to your… desires."

Petra whimpered in response, words failing her, every nerve in her body feeling entangled with his. She had already given into him, her arms clutching him around the back of his neck like he was her lifeline, her entire being completely overwhelmed by his dominant, manly presence. It felt like she was melting into his arms and his mouth; as if she would turn to liquid if he let her go.

Without really noticing, they had moved a few steps back from the desk, towards the plush couch against the wall. In one smooth motion, Levi lifted Petra's knees around his hips, laying her back on the couch and pressing himself on top of her.

In an instant he had his lips to hers again; roughly now, hungrily. His hands gripped her hips tightly as he pressed roughly against her, grinding his own hips in between hers.

Awareness was creeping back up on Petra; his kissing was feeling a little too rough, his torso pressed down too hard she could hardly breath, his bulging hard crotch against hers and… _oh god,_ she thought. Levi was _really damn horny_. She felt suffocated; it was too much to handle, too overwhelming. She had actual _feelings for him_ but he was just _incredibly horny_ right now.

"Levi," she mumbled weakly against his lips to no avail. He continued, taking no notice.

"Le..vi…" she tried again, this time as he bit her lip - a little too hard. She moved her hands down to his chest, unsuccessfully pushing against him.

"Oww… mmff...Le..vi..!," she gasped, beginning to feel cornered, a cold pit of nasty feelings forming in her stomach.

"_Captain!_" she cried out, finally getting his attention enough to make him pull back with a growl of frustration.

"What the fu-"

Petra slapped him fiercely, and he abruptly sat up in shock. She tasted blood from where he'd bitten her lip. Hurt and betrayal swirled within her, their eyes meeting for a fleeting half-second until her eyes clouded over with tears.

"You're a _jerk_," she spat, her hand instinctively going to her bleeding lip as she quickly rolled off the couch and turned away, still not wanting him to see her tears. She hurried for the door.

"Petra, I didn't-"

"_Leave me alone_," Petra hissed, leaving his office. Thankfully, he didn't follow her as she quickly made her way down the empty hall, the dark gray walls creating a thick, oppressive atmosphere.

In her room she shut the door behind her, locking it before slumping down against it. The tears finally spilled down her cheeks as she bitterly spat blood onto the cold stone floor. How could she have been so naive, tempting him like that? Levi was a _man_, years beyond her; he was a straight man, of course he had desires, easily fulfilled by someone as willing as Petra. But she had been stupid to think he would reciprocate her feelings.

_I can't believe he would use me like that,_ she thought with despair, burying her face in her arms and weeping quietly. They had been great as friends, but she had ruined it, trying to push things to the next level, to a relationship that could never be.

He had left her heart torn and tearing, half of her still longing for him and the other half disgusted with him.

_Why did I have to fall for such a damn jerk?_

* * *

**Well that escalated quickly...**

**Levi you jerk D:**

**How's he gonna get himself out of this one?**

**Thanks so much for all the reviews n such! I'll try to update more often now, I have just been incredibly busy with very little free time!**


	10. Heartbeat

**NOTE BEFORE READING THIS CHAPTER: The point-of-views alternate between scenes in this chapter! Some are from Petra's view and others are from Levi's! It should be pretty easy to tell who is narrating within a few lines of each scene. This is something new I wanted to try, so let me know if it worked out well. Happy reading! **

* * *

_Shit shit shit._

_Fucking shit._

Levi huffed, slumping back down on the couch and rubbing his stinging cheek. Damn that hurt... but he had to admit to himself that he deserved this one.

_You hurt her, you piece of shit,_ he thought, frustrated with his pitiful lack of self-control.

When it came to Petra, he supposed self-control wasn't his strong suit. Clearly. He should have never let her kiss him in the first place, last night. He should have stopped it right there and then. He was the older one between the two of them; he was the _captain_ for christ sake, he was supposed to be mature enough to do the responsible thing.

But she had her way of weakening him; of melting all his resolve away. And his adrenaline was always pumping after expeditions; it shouldn't have surprised him that his energy quickly turned to horniness. He hadn't had a woman in years and then Petra came along feeling up his bare chest. It was more than he could resist. The temptation had overwhelmed him, his desire unleashing like a caged beast, and it had blinded him to the point where he hadn't even been considering her.

The look on her face haunted him. He'd hurt her in his desire, he'd been far too rough and actually cut her lip. Now he had to make things right again soon; to fix his mistake, though he had no idea how. They had to work together… to trust each other for their own survival.

_She's my fucking subordinate,_ he thought bitterly. He hadn't been lying when he said kissing her was a lapse in judgment - he'd had every intention of stopping it right there, and that would have been the end of it if she hadn't held him in with her damn eyes. If she would have just looked away, he would have been able to resist his temptations. Instead, he had claimed her lips and taken it too far.

_But you wanted her. You wanted her to touch you all along. You specifically singled her out to stitch up your petty cut,_ his mind told him.

He swung his legs off the couch, remembering now with dismay that his boots were still muddy from the damn expedition, and that mud was now on the goddamn couch.

_Ugh. Now I have to clean all this shit,_ Levi thought, compulsively kicking off the crusty boots and shedding the tainted white pants as well. The room felt all too stuffy now so he cracked the window open, hoping to let in a breeze.

He resumed cleaning the couch in only his boxers when Erwin walked in.

"Hm. Am I interrupting something?" Erwin said, raising a thick blonde eyebrow at the short, barely dressed, man.

"Yes, I was just about to fuck the couch," Levi replied sarcastically as he continued to spray the cushion to get the mud stains out.

Erwin said nothing, inviting himself in and closing the door behind.

"The mission was a great success thanks to your squad," Erwin said. "But I noticed you didn't come back unscathed," he added, his piercing blue eyes fixing on the stitched up wound.

"Who sewed that for you?" he ventured.

"Petra Ral. My subordinate." Truthfully, part of the reason he had come to her was to keep his injury on the down low. He didn't really want other soldiers to see him injured from such an easy mission. She had been the one he decided to trust…

"Ah. It would appear she has many talents…" Erwin trailed off, an inquisitive edge in his voice.

"Bloody hell... She left while my damned pants were still on, Erwin. What kind of pervert do you think I am?" Levi scowled, feeling oddly defensive.

"A clean one," Erwin replied offhandedly, marveling at how effectively Levi had removed the mud from the couch and his boots.

"Tch…"

"There is paperwork to be done. As my second in command, I expect you to shoulder some of the burden as usual. I'll have someone drop them off at your office tomorrow morning."

Levi bit back the urge to groan irritably. Nothing like paper work to turn his sour mood worse. And now he probably couldn't expect any help from Petra either. He didn't think any of his other subordinates would be willingly up for the task, and he didn't want to force it upon anyone.

"Yes, sir," Levi said simply, sitting on the now-clean couch and beginning to bleach his muddied white pants.

Erwin took a seat next to him, sparing another amused glance at Levi's comical state of undress. He was always more compulsive in his habits, particularly cleanliness, when he was stressed.

"Is something bothering you?" Erwin said.

_Am I that easy to read? God damn…_ Levi thought. He liked to think he wasn't a damn open book, but maybe he was.

"This filthy dirt is bothering me," he muttered, fixated on his task. The bleach was already starting to take root in the muddy white fabric.

Thankfully, Erwin didn't pry any more into the subject, instead changing the topic.

"We need to evaluate our strategy for the next expeditions. As we get closer to Wall Maria and Shiganshina district, there will be several major cities directly in our path. Some are quite large, so we need to determine whether it's best to just go straight through them instead of around them like we have been doing for the smaller towns. And if so, we need to begin developing a plan to limit casualties, since cities disrupt the formation and make it more difficult to spot titans. Frequent engagement of titans will be inevitable," Erwin mused.

"So we'll kill the bastards that get in our way. We did it today and we can do it again," Levi said.

"Yes. But there's more to it than that. These things are rarely black and white, Levi," Erwin said, rubbing his temples. He had the ambitious gleam in his eyes; the spark that Levi never understood, and he wondered what the commander was plotting.

_Rarely black and white, huh…_ Levi thought, his mind wandering elsewhere for a moment. Emotionally, Levi was black and white - he was as complex as a block of wood. He either liked something or he didn't. But other people… other people had wide ranges of emotions, thoughts, feelings, and other things he couldn't relate to… Petra, for example. She wasn't just a single problem… she was an enigma, an entire damn riddle. He wanted to understand her, but he didn't know how that was possible.

_And I need to make things right with her… ugh… especially if we're all going to be facing lots of titans together soon._

Erwin stood, producing a folder of papers from his jacket and laying them on Levi's desk.

"We will have our usual post-expedition meeting tomorrow night. Please read through the papers so you're properly briefed on the talking points. There are a few crucial things we must cover with squad leaders," Erwin stated. "I hope you have a… fine night," he added, sparing one last quick glance at the corporal before walking out, closing the wooden door behind him.

The raven-haired man blinked, suddenly weary at the prospect of reading through what looked to be a novel-length worth of papers stacked upon his desk.

_But this isn't about me. It's about saving humanity, and one day leaving these god forsaken walls. It's about honoring the sacrifices of the fallen by doing our very best…_. he decided, willing himself off the couch, though his tired muscles protested. He slipped on his now-clean pants and rested his green cloak on his shoulders to cover himself up, then took a seat behind the briefing papers. It was important that he read and understand the material.

And it was important that he push any other thoughts aside for the time being.

But with no cup of coffee to keep the edge off the ever-looming fatigue, he was in for a long night.

* * *

"Guys, he's passed out on his desk. I'm not sure what to do," Gunther's quiet voice echoed down the hallway.

Petra rounded the corner, finding her teammates Erd, Auruo, and Gunther all gathered around the captain's office door, speaking in hushed voices.

Puzzled, she approached, wrapping her hands around her warm coffee mug to keep off the morning chill.

"Is something wrong with the captain?" She asked, taking a sip of coffee.

"Oh! Petra's here! She can do it!" Auruo proclaimed.

Gunther nodded eagerly. "This situation is delicate… I believe Petra is best suited to handle it."

"And what exactly have I just been volunteered for?" Petra inquired, arching an eyebrow as she blew some of the steam off the coffee.

"Apparently the captain fell asleep on his work last night, and well, as you know, it's cleaning day, and we need to start on time to get everything done by nightfall… so we need someone to nudge him awake," Erd explained. "Someone who's gentle and who he is not likely to kill… this kind of thing needs a female touch," he nodded gravely.

"Oh," Petra said, her eyes falling to the steaming brown liquid swirling in her mug. She hadn't forgotten their encounter last night, and she still hadn't quite forgiven him. Her tongue grazed over the scar on the top of her bottom lip, which was sore but thankfully not visible from the front. All the hurt and frustration was threatening to bubble back up at the thought of him.

_Shit, I actually slapped him though… I slapped my superior… no, I slapped Levi, but he's still my captain, urgh,_ she thought.

It would be childish of her to make a scene about it though, or to deliberately avoid him. He was her captain… she had to trust him, and she had to face him sooner or later. And she knew he was still a good man. If she backed off and restored their relationship as strictly professional, he would probably get the hint and respect her wishes.

The thought of no longer being Levi's friend hurt more than she cared to admit, but it was probably for the best. She had tainted what they had by giving him the wrong message about what she wanted with him…

"Pet? You alright there?" Gunther cocked his head at her.

"Yeah," she said. "I'll do it. I'll go wake him up."

"Ha! Now that's my girl," Auruo boasted, patting her on the back as she reached for the doorknob.

"You're all a bunch of babies," Petra muttered, sliding quietly into Levi's office and closing the door behind.

The office was even cleaner than it had been when she had left, though the familiar pine scent lingered. Her teammates told it true: Levi was knocked out asleep, his head resting between his arms on his desk. His face was peaceful, without its usual intensity, and he somehow looked younger this way. Petra couldn't help but think he looked kind of cute sleeping...

_Crap... I can't believe I still have feelings for him... why won't they just go away? But he looks so human right now, I could hold him..._

She shook her head at the thoughts. _Dummy. Levi doesn't want to hold you. Get over it already._

Petra took a deep breath, willing herself to exhale away all the unwanted thoughts. Her objective here was simple: wake her captain as gently as possible.

Slowly, she approached the dark-haired man.

"Captain?" she breathed softly.

* * *

"Captain... please... wake up, sir..."

_What the hell?_ Levi thought, his eyes fluttering half open.

"Captain? Are you awake?" The soft female voice said, her words sounding somehow melodic; beautiful.

In the corner of his hazy vision he registered a flash of amber.

"Petra?" His eyes shot open, focusing on the girl before him, and though he was still mildly disoriented, his memories came flooding back. He locked onto her honey eyes in an instant, peering up at her through lowered, creased brows - an odd expression that felt unusual on his face, his lips parted and his thoughts still jumbled.

"Do you hate me?" He asked, immediately feeling stupid that those words had tumbled out of his mouth without his regard .

_Fuck... great way to smooth things over with her._

"Ehh! W-what?" Petra said, looking taken aback momentarily before regaining her cool.

"No, captain, of course not. May we talk about this later please? The squad is waiting just outside," she said with a nod towards the door.

"Right. Shits not gonna clean itself," Levi deadpanned, finally awake now. He was glad he had at least had the sense to put a shirt on too before nodding off. The last thing he needed was to freak Petra out even more.

"Here, captain, take this," she said, setting down a mug of coffee before him.

"Tell the squad I'll meet you all in the common room in fifteen minutes," he said, running a hand through his ruffled hair in a futile attempt to fix it. He didn't like for Petra, or anyone, to see him disheveled like this, his cravat draped untied around his shoulders.

She nodded and turned to leave while he picked up the steaming cup for a much needed sip of coffee. But as the liquid slid over his tongue, he noticed this wasn't the coffee he was used to; it was sweeter, and flavored with vanilla. Suddenly a realization hit him.

"Petra. This is yours," he stated, making her stop in her tracks.

She turned, honey eyes partially obscured by long eyelashes as she looked down.

"Yes, captain... but... you looked like you needed it more than I did," she said with an inkling of her usual kind smile.

Without waiting for a response, she left, leaving Levi speechless in her wake.

_She's unreal_, he thought, for once in his life genuinely touched by a simple, sweet gesture. Even after all the shit he'd pulled on her, she was still utterly selfless and kind.

But he knew it didn't quite mean he was forgiven. He saw the tension in her shoulders and her eyes, as much as she may have been trying to conceal it. Like she said... they would have to talk about it later.

Levi hated talking, but for her, of course, he would make an exception. He had to make an exception. She was infinitely sweeter to him than he deserved and a part of him wanted to ask her why. Why, after seeing what a real piece of shit he could be, was she still so considerate of him?

He blinked, downing some of the hot, sweet coffee, then straightening out his desk and standing up.

* * *

"Ha!" Petra exclaimed, slamming Auruo's hand down and finally winning their intense arm wrestling match. Gunther grumbled, forking over a few coins to Erd on behalf of their bet.

"Ehh.. I'm still sore from the mission! Three solo kills in one day," Auruo exclaimed, crossing his arms and turning his nose up haughtily. "But I wouldn't expect you to understand," he added in his feeble attempt to imitate the captain.

Somehow his less than accurate impersonations were more annoying than usual to Petra, who promptly sent him a venomous glare.

"The money. _Now_," she spat.

"Ehh! fine! Christ, woman," Auruo mumbled , practically withering under her gaze. He promptly dug into his jacket pocket and reluctantly slid over a few bills, grimacing as he relinquished them.

Petra's face lit up as she claimed her prize, and she flashed a beaming smile.

"Thanks Auruo! You're the best!" She exclaimed.

Auruo offered a sheepish smile at her sudden cheeriness just as Captain Levi entered the common room.

"Try not to jizz yourself now, kiddo," Levi commented at Auruo's face. His light-haired subordinate gaped back at him, for once at a loss for words as Petra smirked. Beside her, Erd and Gunther stifled their laughter.

Petra turned to face her captain, who was surprisingly not wearing his usual cleaning attire. She avoided eye contact as the squad gathered around the table. Levi set down a basket full of assorted rags.

"Gunther, Auruo, you'll be doing the windows inside and out, so gear up. Erd, you do floors," Levi said, handing over a broom to Erd. "Petra, you'll do tables and shelves."

Petra nodded, somewhat confused by his choice of task for her. She almost exclusively did the floors since her short stature gave her a hard time reaching top shelves, and for some reason he almost never wanted her to do the windows. But she supposed she could make it work, with a little extra effort.

"I'll help out when I'm finished with my work. I'll be in my office, but try not to disturb me," he added, turning to leave.

Auruo grumbled sourly about Levi's jeer as Gunther gathered up a handful of rags and escorted him out of the room. Erd caught Petra's eye and shrugged.

"I don't know why he gave me floors either," he admitted. "But I guess we can keep each other company for a while," he added, giving her a reassuring pat. Floors took a lot less time than organizing shelves and tables, so Erd would probably move on to other rooms sooner and come back to help when he was done.

"Yeah…" Petra trailed off, tying a cloth around her neck to pull over her mouth and nose when the work got dusty. "So how's your fiance?"

"Ah, yes, Natalie. She's doing well," Erd said, smiling tenderly at the thought of her as he swept the floor. "I'm seeing her tomorrow, actually, since we get the rest of the week off after today."

"That's right! I almost forgot we have the week off," Petra realized, suddenly wondering what she was going to do with all that time off. Her father had written her that he would be in Karanese district for the week to visit his new nephew, a cousin who Petra wouldn't be able to meet for a while. Her horse had received a slight injury on the way back to wall rose, so traveling to a district other than Trost was out of the question.

"It's her birthday next week actually," Erd recalled. "I should get her something, but I'm not good at that sort of thing," he rubbed the back of his neck with a chuckle. "Any suggestions? If you had a man, what would you want him to get you?"

_If I had a man…_ Petra thought, trying not to blush when she immediately thought of a certain someone. The thought only annoyed her. _If I had a man who wasn't a pushy jerk…_

"Something practical, like… a nice watch, maybe," Petra suggested, thinking of the pocket watch her father had gotten her for her 12th birthday. It was broken now, but she still kept it on her, stashed away inside her jacket.

"That sounds perfect. I never would have thought of something like that," he commented. They continued to converse as they worked until Erd finished with the common room floor.

When he left, Petra was alone again with her thoughts.

_Focus on cleaning_, she thought, irritably looking around for a step stool or chair to stand on to reach the higher shelves.

It was then that she heard the soft sound of someone walking in and shutting the double doors of the common room, the same doors that were almost always left wide open.

"Ugh. Filthy," she heard her captain mutter at the backside of the door. She peered over her shoulder to see him intently wiping at the door with a rag. She inhaled sharply, a bit apprehensive to be alone with him again for the first time since the previous night. This would either be really awkward, or...

"Captain?" She called softly.

He flinched for a moment, evidently having not noticed her presence at first.

"Oi, Petra." he called back nonchalantly. He took a glance back at the room and promptly scoffed.

"Tch. Erd can't clean floors for shit."

He snatched up the spare broom, mumbling irritably about how his subordinates only pushed the dirt around.

"Well, he's not used to cleaning the floors," Petra remarked, still cross about being given an unnecessarily difficult task, to which Levi stopped and perked his head up. She looked away. "_Sir_," she added.

"There's a reason for that," he began quietly. "I was hoping you would be alone," he mumbled, pulling down the cloth bandana from his face and approaching the shelf she stood next to. "I need to talk to you."

Petra's heart lurched, her fingers clutching the rag, nearly balling into a fist. She bit her lip and looked up to find Levi's gaze fixated on the ground.

"Yes, captain?"

* * *

_Look up at her,_ Levi told himself as his eyes remained glued to the strands of his broom.

An anxious sort of energy pulsed through his veins, a strange feeling he couldn't quite place.

_Am I ... nervous? What the fuck?_

"About last night," he began, scowling at the floor.

_Look her in the damn eyes, asshole._

"I'm ... sorry," he choked out with some effort, the word entirely foreign in his mouth. He looked up and met her golden-eyed gaze; it was all he could do not to melt instantly. He noticed he hadn't stopped scowling, perhaps as a defense mechanism, and did his best to revert back to his usual straight face.

Petra cocked her head slightly, an inquisitive gleam in her eyes. Levi huffed in frustration, propping the broom against the shelf and crossing his arms.

"I told you I'm a real piece of shit, Petra. I warned you not to overestimate me. I'm not a socialite, dammit. I'm a killer. It's all I know. I poison everything I touch," he remarked sullenly, lowering his brows.

"Captain... ahh, you're not entirely at fault, I think," she said, chewing her lip even further. Levi knew she did this when she was anxious. She sounded torn, her hands setting down the rag gently.

"I'm afraid... I may have given you the wrong impression," she said, staring down at her hands. "I wasn't looking for a mere hook-up when I kissed you. Levi, I ..." she swallowed hard, "I have feelings for you. Feelings far beyond friendship," she declared.

Levi was completely unsurprised by this revelation .

"I know," he felt himself saying. It was true. He had known for quite a while now but had never openly admitted it to himself: for whatever reason, Petra had feelings for him. It was evident in the way she looked at him; the way she got flustered in his close presence; and the way her face lit up when they were just alone, talking. All the small, kind gestures added up in that moment, aligning in perfect harmony.

"You ... knew?" She breathed, caught off guard.

"I never meant to hurt you. I had a momentary lapse ... in self control," he grudgingly admitted. "But I thought I made it clear ..." he took a step forward, gently picking up her right hand, "... when I said..." he placed her hand directly over his heart, again, to the hammering away of his nervous heartbeat, "that it's not only you," he finished, closing his eyes as he opened up to her, yet again entirely vulnerable.

"Oh," Petra breathed back, barely above a whisper. And just like before, she buried her face in his shoulder adorably, the tension departing from her with every breath as her palm absorbed his frantic pulse.

Levi felt rather pathetic about how violently his heart was hammering over nothing but her mere presence and touch, but he supposed if it was reassuring to her, then it was worth it.

"So, Petra... do you forgive me?" Levi mumbled quietly, not daring to let go of her hand. This was the closest he had ever let someone get to him, emotionally, and it kind of terrified him in a way.

Petra Ral had the power to make or break him with her answer.

* * *

**Ooohh... Will Petra forgive him? ;D**

**Let me know your thoughts on the switching POV's! I might do it again for next chapter, or I might make it stick to either Levi or Petra for the whole chapter. The next chapter will pick right up where this scene left off! Still deciding whose POV to write it from, so if you have a preference let me know and I'll take it into consideration.**

**As always thanks a bunch for reading, if you like this story please leave a review! :D They are very encouraging. **


	11. The notebook

_This is so pathetic, _Levi thought grudgingly, fighting his feelings and losing miserably. He felt weak, helpless; at the mercy of whatever words came tumbling out of her mouth. Petra inhaled sharply, her fingers curling under his palm to clutch the fabric over his chest.

_You're the damn captain for christ's sake. Retain some dignity; stop letting yourself unravel before her, _he scowled, trying to resent the control she had over him.

_She's too good for you anyways._

He was about to make a shitty remark about not having the time to wait for the seasons to change when she finally spoke up.

"I… I don't know if I should. You _hurt_ me," Petra said softly, her fingers tightening on his shirt as she pulled away from his shoulder.

"Hmm. Is this the part where the man says… '_I'll never hurt you again_'? I'm not exactly a fucking white knight, Petra. Is that what you want? Because I'm not; and I won't bother promising you anything," Levi said flatly. "I don't desire to hurt you, or exploit you, but I'm a something of a shitty man on the inside, by most standards. I can't guarantee you won't get burned; I can't guarantee you'll like what you come to find out about me, either," he scoffed. "Someone such as you…" he lowered his voice, moving his free hand to tilt up her chin between his thumb and forefinger, "... perhaps you're best off not forgiving me, then."

"Captain… I'm just… Well, I…" she sputtered out.

"You're what?"

She made no answer except to pull away from him, her eyes flicking to his briefly.

_So that's how it is_, Levi sighed, feeling resigned. He had been a bit harsh, truthfully, but he needed to stop his bad habit of softening himself for her anyways. At this point she deserved to know who he really was. He exhaled deeply, his composure and his senses finally returning to him as he gently pried her fingers loose of his shirt and dropped her hand.

"You don't have to answer me right away," he said evenly, pulling away from her and grasping the broom yet again. "Or at all. As an elite soldier, I trust whatever decision you make will not impair your judgment or cause complications within the squad."

He took one last glance at the honey-haired soldier, at her torn expression and the way she was chewing on her bottom lip and her warm amber eyes that threatened to draw him back in all over again. He blinked, finally mustering up the will to resist her for the time being.

"I'll be here later tonight. Shitty papers, as usual. If you have anything else to say, you know where to find me," Levi said calmly, trying to maintain his usual bored, aloof expression. "Finish these filthy floors and the rest of this room. That's all you need to do. Erd and I will cover the other rooms," he added, leaving without a second glance.

* * *

_Ugh, why is he so difficult? _Petra thought, kicking the shelf in frustration. She immediately regretted this as a cluster of books tumbled down. The loud thud echoed through the room as she winced.

A part of her still wanted to be bitter at Levi. But even with his lack of finesse and social graces, he managed to be oddly endearing with his rude bluntness, his cleaning mannerisms, and his abject intensity at certain times.

He didn't believe himself to be a good person, though. Petra wanted to change that. She wanted to convince him he wasn't a piece of shit on the inside.

She wanted to be the one who made him feel whole.

_I don't need a white knight, Levi. I'm a soldier; I'm tough; I can take care of myself. I don't need saving… but maybe you do. I can be your rock… I can be yours, for better or for worse. I can be the one who always believes in you; who brings out the best in you. I… want to devote myself to you._

Petra blushed, a wave of warmth tingling through her nerves.

_His heartbeat. His heart was beating… for me… _her flush deepened, a nervous giddiness bubbling up in her chest as it all finally sunk in.

_So_ _Captain Levi… has feelings for me? All those quiet nights… when we let our guards down and just talked… when I was falling for him after each sarcastic joke or grumpy scowl…_

… _was he really falling for me too? I can't believe it. It's more than I ever hoped for. Ahh... _Petra bit her lip, slumping shakily down against the shelf.

_I hope I didn't annoy him too much then, _she mused. He had seemed a little off-put by her lack of a coherent response to him, though he masked it quite well. Then again… he kind of deserved it. She would forgive him, of course, but only after getting her point across.

She took a deep breath, willing herself to focus again.

_I need to pick up all these books I knocked over, _she grimaced.

On her hands and knees, Petra gathered up the assortment of texts strewn about on the floor. The books were mostly compilations of dated public records of the survey corps, with some historical texts thrown in. While gathering up the last few volumes, a small leather notebook tumbled out from between pages and caught her eye.

Petra raised an eyebrow, hastily re-shelving the heavy volumes before bending over to swiftly scoop up the fallen notebook. She turned it over, eyes roaming over the tattered lines on the worn and frayed brown leather.

_This looks like Ilse's notebook… _she pondered, tracing a finger down the spine of the small journal. The special ops squad had discovered this notebook outside the walls several expeditions ago, and within it held a mysterious tale of a soldier being spoken to by a titan.

Petra frowned, remembering that notebook had been left in Hanji's hands.

_Sure she's a bit disorganized… but… would she really misplace something this important in the common room? Unless… _she flipped the book open to a random page, her eyes falling upon a neat, but somewhat childish, handwriting.

She cocked her head at the unfamiliar writing; it certainly wasn't anything like the frantic scrawl of Ilse's story, even though the cover looked remarkably similar. No; this was perhaps some soldier's personal diary or somesuch.

Petra gave a quick look around to make sure she was still alone then flipped to the first page, undoubtedly where she could probably discover who this thing belonged to. 'The diary of Isabel Magnolia,' the first page read in blocky, clumsy letters. Petra shrugged, not recognizing the name, but decided to read on a bit, flipping the page.

_Year 844, Spring._

_My friends and I are being taught how to write by our teacher here at the Survey Corps. She advised us all to keep a journal to practice our writing, though I'm sure I'm probably the only one who is actually following through with it. This is really exciting, learning how to write! I've known how to read well enough for a long time, but I haven't had the chance to learn to write by myself until now._

_Of course, big bro and Farlan are totally over the whole thing. They don't understand why we need to learn writing when we're just supposed to be soldiers who go outside the walls and fight titans. I don't understand either really, but writing is cool so I'm not complaining._

_Anyways, big bro wanted me to fetch the broom and meet him upstairs to clean out our dorm room, again. He's gotten weirdly particular about cleaning lately, even moreso than before if that's even possible. I'm gonna go now before he gets impatient! Until next time,_

_~Isabel_

Petra couldn't help but smile at the mention of another clean freak. Maybe her captain wasn't the only one pressed on it around here. Her smile quickly faded to a frown though; judging by the date, this Isabel girl would surely have been a veteran elite soldier by now. But Petra knew all the veteran soldiers in the corps by name, and there were none by that name. Whoever Isabel was, she had met her end years ago. And her friend Farlan, too.

Petra wondered who the girl's big brother could be, and if he was still alive. If he was, and she could figure out who he was, she resolved that she would return the notebook to him. It was the least she could do; she couldn't imagine what losing a sibling must have been like.

With this goal in mind, she took a seat and began to flip through the entries, skimming through the girl's adventures for familiar names. Her spelling and handwriting improved as the entries went further. Petra smiled occasionally at her tales of learning the ways of the scouts. Farlan was mentioned often - he seemed to mellow her down often from what she wrote - and her brother as well, who she claimed was secretly amused by her antics but just didn't show it.

Finally Petra's eyes caught another familiar name:

_Today was an awful day. I got beaten up pretty bad by this asshole in hand-to-hand combat training. Luckily Levi stepped in and kicked his ass even harder._

Petra blinked. Isabel knew Levi? From all those years ago? She eagerly read the next line:

_I'm glad to know at least my big bro Levi has my back._

Petre froze, her mouth going dry and a cold feeling snaking down her spine, halfway between dread and sorrow.

Levi had once had a little sister…? And even by his side, she had presumably perished?

Petra promptly shut the diary, suddenly feeling invasive. She tucked it away inside her jacket. She had to keep her word… later, she had to return the diary to Levi.

And hopefully get some answers from him too.

* * *

**Hey everyone! Sooo this is a really short chapter lol, but it sets up the next chapter which will be much longer!**

**I think I have more time for writing now so I can maybe finally update this more often now ^.^**

**As a side note, Levi's friends are from the spin-off manga thing about him, if any of you haven't read it you totally should cause it's great. Levi isn't actually blood related to any of them, but Petra just doesn't know this yet, so yeah.**

**Hope you all liked this chapter even though it's short lol. :'D I plan to pick up the pace soon with a few more key scenes and then progressing towards the endgame of this story, fun stuff.**

**Sooo please don't forget to review if you like my story, thanks all! :D**


	12. Two candles

Cleaning out the common room didn't take much longer, and Petra soon found herself alone at the dining hall.

_They must still be cleaning I suppose, _she thought, her eyes falling upon the empty table where her squad usually gathered for supper. The other elite squads occupied the few other tables in the cozy hall. The dining hall, reserved for the elite and the veterans of the survey corps, was far nicer than the mess hall, where the rest of the common soldiers and recruits ate.

Still, it felt odd being there without her squad. She almost turned back to go help them finish, but then she remembered Levi's orders so she stayed put. She could feel the journal pressed against her chest, weighing on her in more ways than one.

"Petra! Don't look so lost!" Hanji called from a table on the far right of the hall, beckoning Petra to come sit by her.

"These guys are way more fun than your captain grumpy and his underlings," she commented as Petra took a seat next to her, laughing.

Petra kindly greeted the others at the table: Ivan, Dieter, Jurgen, and… was that Louie?

_And Marie too… what the hell are they doing here?_

"I didn't expect to see you here," she waved cautiously at the two of them.

"Hanji invited us! Said we performed exceptionally on the expedition so she wanted us to come talk with the elite squads," Louie beamed.

"She said she would talk to Erwin about promoting us," Marie chipped in smugly.

Petra inwardly groaned but bit her tongue.

"Congratulations," she finally said, hoping they couldn't detect the sarcasm dripping in her tone. Ivan, at least, seemed to notice, as he snorted quietly, exchanging a knowing look with her.

"Damn rookies always think they're the shit after surviving their first expedition," he whispered quietly next to her, out of earshot of the others. Petra couldn't help but cracking a small smile, silently agreeing.

She continued to talk and joke around with them for a while, appreciating the chance to unwind and bond with other elite soldiers. The Special Ops squad was a fiercely independent squad; she was often with them from dawn to dusk day in and day out with little time left to interact with others. She never minded; her teammates were her best friends, and she cherished all of them, even Auruo; but she couldn't deny it was refreshing to have a change of pace every once in a while, like eating dinner with a different crowd.

And it helped her forget certain recent encounters that weighed on her mind. At least for a little bit.

It wasn't until right after she finished her dinner that she saw her squad filing in from the corner of her eye. The four men unceremoniously plopped down into their respective chairs at their usual table when Petra accidentally caught Erd's questioning gaze.

_He's probably wondering how I got off cleaning duties so much earlier than the rest of them, _she thought.

_Tea?_ She mouthed across the hall at Erd, hoping his lip reading skills were intact.

He nodded, giving her the OK gesture with one hand, and briefly holding up four fingers with the other.

Petra nodded back in understanding, dismissing herself from her table to go put the kettle on the stove.

A short time later she returned to the dining hall with a small tray of teacups for everyone in her squad. She took her usual seat to her captain's right.

"You missed out on our manly conversion," Gunther commented, reaching for his tea from the silver tray in the middle.

"We have determined that we're well on our way to being the manliest squad in existence," Erd added, raising his cup to Gunther's to cheer. "With a few minor adjustments," he shot a glance at Auruo, who scoffed.

"Apparently I don't know how to piss properly," Auruo rolled his eyes. "But who the fuck even cares about that?"

"If you shake it more than twice you're just playing with it," Levi chimed in flatly. "Any idiot knows that."

"See?" Gunther grinned. "Even the captain agrees."

"Eh…" Auruo trailed off, putting his face to his palm.

Petra giggled, shaking her head. There was a time when such a crude conversation would have mortified her, back when she had first been initiated into the squad; but spending the better part of two years surrounded primarily by men had definitely desensitized her to such things. She was used to the vulgar humor of her squad, and even found it quite amusing.

"Whatever. It's not like we can be the manliest squad anyways when we have this cute little girl on with us," Auruo remarked, elbowing Petra.

Petra huffed out a long, exaggerated sigh in response. "You know, I feel kind of bad about reaping a chunk of your salary every week. But if you insist…" she began making a show of rolling up her sleeves.

Erd and Gunther were cracking up across from her while Auruo pulled a face and shook his head repeatedly.

"It's all good, we're good, no need to make bets today, really, just not necessary," he rambled.

The ambient conversation continued around her, but Petra remained unusually quiet. Too many things weighed on her mind, and she couldn't shake the hyper awareness of her captain's heavy presence next to her.

He seemed to be even quieter than usual; brooding, perhaps, but it was hard to tell with his non expressive face, and she didn't dare glance for more than a fleeting second to catch any details. She did, however, notice his slender finger tracing the ridges of the tattered handle on his teacup. For a moment she was vividly reminded of the comfortable nights spent in the flickering candlelight, as his friend; the nights that seemed so distant despite being only a few days ago.

Suddenly his fingers moved and he flicked the handle, a soft _ping_ sound ringing out.

"Real piece of shit, huh," Levi remarked quietly in a low voice, so only she could hear.

"Yeah…" she replied just as quietly, not daring to meet the icy gray eyes she felt on her.

"You're real quiet. Bet Hanji drugged your dinner," he continued. "She'll be around here poking you soon enough."

"That's not funny, " Petra hushed, still preferring to keep her eyes fixed on the teacup. "Criminals really do that sort of thing, and…" she trailed off, Isabel suddenly coming to mind. She had probably grown up with Levi, living the same lifestyle in the underground… a life of crime for survival.

Levi flicked the handle again, the ping sound getting lost in the loud chatter about them.

"You know, I drugged someone once," Levi said, his voice dropping even lower. "Right before I slit his throat," he added, another ping ringing out.

Petra's eyes widened, her face painted with shock for a moment before her wheels started turning again, making sense of him. She blinked, studying him for a second while his eyes remained boredly fixed on his teacup handle.

_He's talking to me about his days as a thug… in the underground. His years living as a criminal… _she swallowed uncomfortably, unsure what to make of this.

"A real piece of shit, see?" Levi remarked again, his voice a soft, low murmur. A final ping rang in Petra's ears, right on cue.

"No!" Petra cried out, and a hush promptly fell upon the table.

_Shit, that was a bit of an outburst, _she thought.

Three pairs of eyes focused on her, waiting for an explanation.

Petra bit her lip anxiously. "Captain, may I be excused?"

"Knock yourself out," Levi deadpanned, eyes fixed blankly forward at nothing in particular. His squad's eyes looked questioningly to him, but he only shrugged, casually taking a sip of tea in his usual manner.

Petra left without another word, stepping outside into the chill autumn air. It was getting colder outside as the promise of winter hung in the near future. But not cold enough; Petra was seething and her blood felt just about ready to boil.

_He's impossible! Utterly impossible! I just want to make him happy but he insists on being difficult, on trying to make me think he's a monster, trying to shut me out, _she thought bitterly, kicking a nearby bale of hay with all her force.

_He may have killed people before… but… he's not a piece of shit… I know he's not, _she told herself, trying to believe it.

She shook her head, willing herself to keep her cool. She found herself near the stables, restless, so she decided to go for a quick ride to clear her head.

Upon entering, she remember her own gelding was lame in his hind right-foot, and unsuitable to ride for at least a few more days. But as she walked further down the aisle, her eyes fell upon a certain well-groomed big black mare, pacing in her stall as usual.

Petra hesitated only a second before grabbing the saddle labelled 'Crasher' and heading over to her stall.

_Screw it. Levi owes me one for pissing me off so much in the past 24 hours. I think I deserve to at least ride his mare._

* * *

Levi lit two candles this time.

He was feeling particularly irritable and didn't want to squint in the low light just to read Mike's shitty handwriting. The death notices were primarily handled by the towering 6-foot Mike, but they required witness signature and input, so Levi got stuck with a bit of the work too.

It was getting late into the night when he heard footsteps.

_Could it be…? _He thought, for a moment recalling his honey-haired soldier and their dilemma. He had been trying hard not to think about her, and he hadn't even expected she might show up after all he had done. Levi wasn't the optimistic type, and he knew a burned bridge when he saw one. _That _particular bridge had surely been burned; or so he thought. It was for the best.

But the shadowy figure who appeared at the door was far too tall to be Petra Ral.

"I forgot to include these," Mike commented as he dropped another few papers off at the table. Levi nodded tiredly in response, and Mike quietly ducked out of the room. They were both men of few words.

A short time later, Levi heard footsteps again.

"Christ… more? We didn't even lose that many-" He stopped, catching a flash of amber in the corner of his eye.

"Oi, Petra," he said lamely, caught off guard and not sure what else to say.

"Captain Levi… I just wanted to ask you something," she said smoothly, her voice like silk, as she softly sat down on the cushion beside him.

"Go for it."

"Um… who was Isabel?"

Levi's hand froze in the middle of the sentence he was writing, his eyes narrowing.

"And who the fuck told you that name?" He said, his voice eerily soft.

Petra only shook her head, placing a small brown-leather notebook in his lap.

"I found this while cleaning earlier. She mentioned you as her… big brother… I just wanted to return it to you."

Levi blinked, briefly flipping through the pages. Isabel's diary. He remembered how she always spent her free time writing in some dingy old notebook. Other soldiers would get annoyed when she left a candle burning into the late hours of night just so she could write about her experiences. But he had never minded.

"Isabel and Farlan were my friends. They were killed by titans. That's all you need to know."

"And they… grew up with you?" Petra asked.

"I'd rather not talk about it right now," Levi said flatly, tucking the diary away into his jacket.

"I understand," she said calmly, with a soft smile.

"... but thank you," he replied quietly. The notebook meant more to him than she could ever know. He couldn't fathom Petra; none of his inevitable shittiness seemed to have an effect on her.

"I don't think you're a piece of shit, Levi," she stated, as if reading his mind. "You can stop trying to convince me. It won't happen."

Levi hesitated, unsure of how to take this. A part of him was, admittedly, happy... but another part of him was torn. He sighed, laying his pen down on the coffee table and leaning back.

"There's a lot you don't know about me. I don't want you to get hurt when you find out…" he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Damn Petra. She was the only one who could make him open up like this, laying his guts all out. Fuck…

_Fuck._

"... when you find out I may not be the man you've built me up to be."

"Who you are is not who you've been. And besides," she giggled, "if you really were shitty you wouldn't be worried about hurting me! See! You do care, I knew it!"

Levi shifted his gaze to her, his brows creasing as he scrutinized her.

_Wait a sec…_

"Are you drunk?" He deadpanned. He couldn't believe he hadn't notice it sooner; her soft words concealing the slight slur of her speech.

"Ehehe…" Petra ran a hand through her hair nervously. "I might have had a few at the bar. Oh and I kind of, um, borrowed your horse to get there, haha, funny story, my own gelding is injured, I hope you don't mind or anything."

"Christ…" Levi trailed off, resting his forehead to the palm of his head.

"You're not… angry or anything, are you?" she bit her lip, her amber eyes gone wide.

"No… you don't ride like an idiot like some of the people here. And you drink to calm yourself down. If I was the one to piss you off, I guess I can't really be angry with you," he sighed. "Drinking doesn't really suit you though. You should stay away from it."

She giggled again. "I'm sorry. I _was_ pissed, though. I knew if I didn't… mmm... clear my head, I would have came in here and yelled at you in all my frustration. That wouldn't have ended well, hahaha. But now that I'm sedated I can actually talk to you calmly. Isn't that funny?" She began laughing harder.

"Very," Levi said, affectionately rubbing her hair.

Petra sniffed, suddenly somber, and drew her knees to her chest.

"But honestly, Levi, you confuse me so much," she said miserably, burying her face in her knees. "All I want is to make you happy… but… you have to let me. You have to let me in."

"Is that so..." Levi said quietly. He was at a loss of what to say; it was probably the nicest, most sincere thing anyone had ever said to him and he simply didn't know how to handle it. His nerves raced all the way to his fingertips, his chest burning. Even while drunk, she had a way of getting him right in the gut.

"Will you allow it? Will you let me make you happy?" Petra lifted her face, watery bright eyes meeting his as she characteristically chewed her lip.

_That's it. I'm unraveled. Fuck... I'm done for. _

"Bloody hell, don't look at me like that, Petra," Levi groaned, setting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his chest. "I don't think you understand what that does to me," he huffed.

"Mmm… I'll forgive you… if… you promise to be gentle with me," she giggled, nuzzling her face into his shoulder. "At least for a while…"

"I already told you. I don't make promises. Words are worthless."

"I know… but for me, you would make an exception, right?" Petra breathed, pulling the same look on her face.

"If I spoke the words, would that make you happy?" Levi groaned again.

"_Very_," she said, imitating him and rubbing his hair.

"Ehh, damn drunk girl," he recoiled from her hand, ducking his head. "Tch. Cut that out," he forced her hand down, keeping it in his free hand. His fingers lightly traced the familiar scar on the inside of her palm. "I promise to do what I can to make you happy," he muttered.

"You stole my line! But it was sweet… so thank you," Petra smiled, nuzzling her face against his. She shifted, her curved up lips hovering inches from his, breathing into him. Levi was almost drawn in; almost, but the faint scent of alcohol in her breath was increasingly apparent. She leaned in closer.

"Quit that," Levi hissed, putting two fingers over her lips and gently pushing her back. "No drunk kissing me."

"Why not?" She pouted.

"That's what you get for getting shit-faced," he pushed her head gently back to rest on his shoulder. "Now pipe down."

"But you just promised-"

"You'll understand when you're sober."

She blinked. "Maybe you're right," she conceded, burying her face in him again.

"You're visiting your father tomorrow?" Levi changed the subject.

Petra shook her head. "My horse is injured, 'member?" she muttered tiredly, the slur in her speech more apparent now. "I'm stuck here with the handful of other soldiers that are staying behind."

"That's a shame. I would let you ride mine, but I have to go to wall Sina with Erwin and his bushy eyebrows," Levi grumbled, leaning his head against hers and closing his eyes.

"Damn," she commented.

"You could come with me, if you want," he began quietly. "We need a fifth person to represent the Survey Corps, aside from Erwin, Hanji, Mike, and I. I was going to ask Erd to come along, but since you're stuck here anyway…"

"Ahh, his fiance's birthday is this week, he can't! I'll come instead of him, captain," she mumbled into his collarbone, half asleep.

"Whatever you say, drunk girl. You may want to reconsider; the meetings are boring as shit."

"Mmmhmmm… Captain Levi… heheheh," she mumbled sleepily.

_She's not getting a word of what I'm saying at this point, _Levi knew.

"It might be less shitty if you're there," he admitted. "I'll let you sleep on it."

Petra made no response this time; she was finally passed out on her captain's shoulder, his arm still hung casually around her. Levi didn't mind; she fit in quite comfortably, in fact, and he wished he wouldn't have to move. But he still had a handful of papers left to sign before tomorrow morning, and the night wasn't growing any younger.

_Guess it's time to be the responsible adult here, _he grimaced, scooping his honey-haired soldier into his arms and standing up in one smooth motion.

"Let's get you the fuck to bed now, drunk girl," Levi muttered softly.

* * *

**Yeaaaahhh they are too cute. I know. Rivetra is the best heheheh.**

**A few notes: 'lame' means injured in horse talk, so when Petra is calling her horse lame she doesn't mean he sucks lol. Also, if you don't get the piss jokes, well... I'm not gonna explain that one hahahahahh.**

**Happy new year everyone!**

**Thank you all for your kind reviews and such! Let me know what you think as always :'D**

**More chapters coming soon :P**


	13. Yours

**Note: All Petra's POV for this chapter. Just kinda came naturally this way. You'll get to see into Levi's head again next time~**

* * *

Petra awoke to an awful throbbing of her head.

_What happened?_ She wondered, painfully disoriented for a moment before the world came spinning into focus. She was in her room, lying on her bed, the soft light of dawn trickling in from the window to her right.

_Levi must have carried me here,_ she realized with a faint blush. The last thing she remembered was leaning against him comfortably and closing her eyes.

When she sat up, she noticed something else: her only blanket was a green cloak, the scouting legion wings of freedom emblazoned across. It smelled like soap and pine, a scent she would recognize anywhere.

_Ahh.. that's right... I forgot to pick up my sheets from the laundry last night,_ she recalled. _I guess he saw how bare my bed was and felt for me._

Petra rubbed her temples groggily, feeling incredibly sluggish. She may have gone a little overboard with the stress drinking... and now she was really paying the price. Ugh.

Just as she was lamenting how thirsty she was, her eyes fell upon a tall glass of water beside her on her night stand. In front of it was a note:

_Drink this when you wake up. All of it._

_~L_

_PS. Need my cloak back soon, cold as shit outside._

The words brought a smile to her face. It wasn't often that Levi showed his caring side, but with enough patience it really came out in rare moments, hidden between the lines of his words and gestures. Petra thought it was one of the most endearing things about him; despite his cold front, he could be incredibly compassionate when he wanted to be, in his own way.

Remembering her captain's invitation to Wall Sina, she quickly downed the water and changed into a clean uniform. She folded his cloak neatly and tucked it under her arm then headed out, still feeling awfully hungover and wondering how she looked. She hoped nobody would be able to tell. How embarrassing…

The building was already alive with soldiers preparing and departing for their families. As Petra entered the dining hall, her eyes were immediately captured in Erwin's piercing blue ones.

"Commander Erwin, sir!" Petra saluted. Hanji, Mike, Levi, and Erd all glanced up at her.

"Late…" she heard Levi grumble from Erwin's right.

"Good morning, miss Ral," Erwin began, arching an eyebrow. "How may I help you?"

Her eyes flicked to her impassive captain for only a second before falling on Erd, who seemed to understand already. She offered a faint smile.

"I have come to volunteer to accompany the Survey Corps command to the interior in Erd's stead, sir."

The blonde commander exchanged a look with the raven-haired Lance Corporal, who grunted in affirmation and waved a hand dismissively.

"Very well," Erwin said as Erd beamed, walking over to Petra.

"I owe you one. Thank you," Erd chucked quietly, patting her on the back as he walked out.

The rest of the four seated at the table stood, chairs sliding back against the wood floor with a dull rumble.

"This meeting is adjourned," Erwin's deep voice rang out. "Levi, I trust you will catch your subordinate up on all the details she just missed," he added, gathering up the various papers strewn about the table. With the papers tucked neatly under his arm, he made for the exit, slowing down as he approached the honey-haired soldier.

"Ral, what is that you're holding?" He inquired.

"Oh! This… this is just my cloak, sir," Petra fidgeted, wrapping it around her shoulders and tying it just to prove her point. It fit perfectly; luckily, it was the same size as her own cloak, virtually identical.

Erwin seemed to accept this as he nodded, offering her a light pat on the shoulder as he continued on. Levi, trailing closely behind the commander, snorted quietly at her antics, seemingly amused by the display, though his face remained blank. He looked her up and down briefly, his eyes lingering on the green cloak for just a moment longer.

"Meet me in the stables in half an hour, Ral. Don't be late this time," Levi said in his usual monotone before walking past to catch up with Erwin.

Mike strolled past, his nose twitching for a moment and he briefly scrutinized her, leaning his nose in closer. Petra made a face, trying to conceal her discomfort at the acute invasion of personal space by a man who towered over her. He suddenly smirked, his face smug like he knew something, and left without a word.

Petra exhaled in relief, her eyes falling on Hanji who was still frantically scrawling some notes by the table. Her head hadn't stopped throbbing, so she quietly slid into the kitchen to at least scavenge some breakfast before she had to leave.

* * *

When Petra stepped out onto the courtyard to head towards the stables, she spotted her teammates joking around by the barn door.

"There she is! Petra!" Erd called out. In an instant he was upon her, hoisting the small soldier up onto his shoulders.

"This girl's the real MVP today," he declared.

"But will she survive sticking by the captain for a whole week?" Gunther joked, jabbing her in the belly.

"Eek! Gunther! That tickles!"

"Oh I think she'll do more than just survive," Auruo smirked.

"Shut your mouth!" She attempted to kick at his face from her high spot, but he ducked just in time.

Auruo stuck his tongue out.

"Don't forget to watch out for unicorns," he added.

"Yeah, there's some real bastards in the interior from what I hear," Gunther nodded.

"They're right, you know," Erd nodded as well, lifting her off his shoulders. "The central military police there aren't your friends. I'd advise you steer clear of them whenever possible," he added seriously. "Yo Gunther, catch!" He called out, throwing Petra into the burly man's arms.

"Eep! Guys! Put me down already!" Petra cried out, struggling in vain.

They only laughed and hoisted her up between the three of them, lifting her up like she had just single-handedly won the whole war.

Then Gunther caught her again, and with a call of "Heads up!" she was again flung into the air, this time landing in Auruo's arms.

"You're like a damn feather," Auruo commented. "Hey, I'll miss you, but my bank account sure as hell won't."

At this Petra giggled, glad to see all her squad in such good spirits.

"Can I be let down now?" She pleaded, pulling her best doe-eyed, innocent face. Auruo grimaced, almost conceding before Erd spoke up.

"I dare you to throw her into the captain's arms next," he smirked, gesturing to their approaching captain.

"Ehh.. well…"

"I bet he won't do it," Gunther faked a yawn.

"He definitely won't do it," Erd agreed.

"No balls."

"Absolutely none."

"Oh you just watch me," Auruo grunted solemnly.

"_Guys_," Petra struggled, burying her face in his chest.

_This is about to be so embarrassing… why do I have to be so small?_

"Oi, captain!" Auruo called out.

"Mm?"

"Heads up!"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Levi said darkly in a low, icy voice. Auruo abruptly froze mid-swing, letting the strawberry blonde simply bounce back in his arms. The Lance Corporal brushed past them casually towards the stables, leaving Erd and Gunther laughing hysterically in his wake.

"I think Auruo might have just shit himself," Gunther chortled.

Auruo grinned sheepishly and shrugged, finally setting Petra down.

"That's better," Petra patted his head approvingly. She quickly hugged them all in farewell and hurried into the barn.

The familiar jet-black mare snorted at her as she approached, but her owner was nowhere in sight. Petra stroked the mare lightly on her snout.

"You're a lot less confusing than your owner, you know," she muttered softly. Despite everything, she still couldn't figure out exactly where she stood with Levi, or just how long the few tender moments between them would last before he put up his icy walls again. Either way, she had a bad feeling that the more attached she grew, the more likely she was to get hurt again. It was wrong of her to have such feelings for her captain, and it was wrong of him to reciprocate, and sooner or later he would realize this. She had forgiven him… mostly, she thought, her tongue grazing the scar on her inner lip... but perhaps it wasn't enough.

Petra got to work grooming and tacking Crasher and humming softly to herself. As she was tightening the brown leather saddle, the mare's ears perked up to the sound of the stall door creaking opening.

Petra cleared her throat. "Good morning, captain."

"Oi," Levi said simply, patting the mare's neck and tightening the saddle another notch. "How's the hangover?"

Widening her eyes slightly and biting her lip, she gave a quick anxious look around to make sure nobody else was nearby. The closest voices she heard seemed to be a few stalls down.

"Not so well," she admitted in a hushed tone. "Listen, ahh… could we keep this as our little secret? I don't really want people to think I'm some crazy drunk girl and-"

"_Our little secret_," Levi repeated, pulling the string on his cloak she wore to untie it. "That's a good way to put it."

Petra got the sense he wasn't talking about her hangover anymore; his statement seemed loaded. For a moment a pressing question came to the tip of her tongue. _Levi, what are we? Can you please just tell me?_ But when she lifted her eyes to look at his concentrated face, his eyes focused on untying the cloak, her heart lurched and she suddenly faltered, the words dying in her mouth.

_I'm afraid to lose him… if I say the wrong thing, that could be it._

"What the hell," Levi muttered, his fingers stopping as his eyes narrowed at the knot.

"Allow me," Petra sighed, gently pushing his fingers away and swiftly untying it herself. She shrugged the cloak off and wrapped it around his shoulders, proceeding to re-tie it, feeling his steely eyes on her as she did so.

_What are you thinking about, Levi?_ Another question flashed by unasked.

"Thank you, by the way. For… everything. For putting up with me. I'm sorry you had to deal with my drunken weirdness," she fought a blush.

"I didn't mind."

"I didn't… either…" she breathed quietly. Although they had, in a way, both admitted to having feelings for each other, his words still left her flustered as she vividly recalled being cuddled against him only a few hours ago. It had been unbelievably comfortable at the time. It wasn't even the first time she had leaned against him like that, but somehow it had felt more personal; deeper and more meaningful. Like the seemingly heartless man, the same jerk who bit her lip, had a gentle heart after all.

_And yet... I still don't know where he plans to go with all this,_ she thought miserably, not quite recalling if he had mentioned anything about it.

She finished the knot and tugged on his cravat for good measure, straightening it out, when she felt his slender finger tilt her chin up. Her eyes fluttered to his and her breath caught. His brows once again pressed together in concentration, as if scrutinizing her face.

_Is he… is he going to kiss me? Ah… he hurt me last time… and yet… I still want this so badly._

Levi leaned in, eyes narrowing further. Suddenly he whipped out a handkerchief.

"You have dirt on your face, Petra," he scoffed, wiping at a spot on her cheek rather brusquely. Petra scrunched up her face in response, the moment effectively ruined.

"_Levi,_" she whined, rubbing her cheek.

"Shush," he said lightly, stepping away to put Crasher's bridle on. "You'll be riding with me. Try not to fall off or we'll have to stick your ass in the supply wagon," he explained, beckoning her to follow him out of the stall.

"Hey! I'm not _that_ hungover!" Petra insisted, trailing behind her captain.

* * *

As their procession galloped across the rolling open fields of Wall Rose, Petra thought carefully over all she had just heard.

Levi and Hanji had explained to her their situation in the interior, and the truth was a little unsettling. Petra had known that a lot of the nobles inside Sina weren't exactly fans of the Survey Corps, but she hadn't realized the complexity of the politics there.

_"In short, we need to kiss their fat, ugly asses all day so they give us adequate funding for the next expedition," Levi had scoffed._

_Hanji nodded seriously._

_"Captain not-so-suave here has learned to mainly keep his mouth shut. But don't forget you'll essentially have to take on the role of a diplomat, especially since you're part of a coveted elite squad with the Lance Corporal. A few nobles are always enamored with the notion of Levi as humanity's strongest soldier; on behalf of him you'll have to appeal to those notions. As for the military meeting, that's the easiest part. We usually sit back and let the commander do all the talking."_

They had been quiet for a while since that conversation, with Crasher trailing a few paces behind Hanji's mare. Petra shifted her arms, wrapped lightly around her captain's torso for stabilization as she sat behind him. Doubling up on a horse wasn't ideal; it was a bit uncomfortable, but she couldn't bring herself to be too bothered. It was hard to object to basically getting to discreetly hug him for three hours, and his body heat helped keep the edge off the cold.

"Captain?" She said, a curious thought coming to mind.

"Yes?"

"Earlier this morning... Erd mentioned something about avoiding central military police. Is something wrong with them?"

"_Something wrong with them?_ That's an understatement," he scowled. "There's a lot wrong with them. Most of them are damn crooks. Real shitty people."

"Why is that?" Petra bit her lip, intrigued.

"Many in the higher ranks are corrupted; sold out to the highest bidder among the crime lords," Levi explained. "Those who aren't corrupt are too damn lazy to persecute those who are."

"That's vile…"

"Yes. I think it's the shitty air there that fucks with their heads. They have more than a few brain cells missing. Petra… I want you to pay close attention to the MPs and the top Sina authorities. I don't trust any of those filthy pigs," he growled.

"I will. I'll pay attention."

"I want you by my side," Levi said seriously.

"Always, captain," Petra replied sincerely, not missing a beat. The Special Ops squad was undyingly loyal to their captain; any of her comrades would say the same thing. Even with personal feelings aside, they would follow him to the ends of the earth if he asked them to; they would lay down their lives at his command. A strong foundation of trust was tightly woven into the fabric of their team, built on countless expeditions of slaying titans. She could quite well recall the times when that very trust had saved her life, when the lethal precision of his paired blades had descended to kill titans just in time. Inside the walls should be no different; if he wanted her by his side, that is where she would be, regardless of what happened beneath the surface for the two of them.

There was a bloated silence for a few moments after, Crasher now trailing well behind the other three horses.

"Do you want me?" Levi's low voice cut through the silence as he looked back over his shoulder for a moment to meet her eyes. It was like ice meeting fire; the subtle intensity in his stone cold look was enough to send a chill down Petra's spine.

The seemingly unprecedented question caught her off-guard, her heart lurching in her chest, fingers twitching.

"I-uh… w-what do you mean by that?"

"I'm offering to be yours," he clarified, his gaze returning to straight ahead.

The unexpected words dropped on Petra like a rock, a surge of electricity racing through her veins and jolting her heart into working double time. She unconsciously tightened her grip around Levi's torso at this, her fingers curling on his shirt as a deep blush colored her face. Of course… leave it to him to be utterly blunt and yet completely sweet at the same time. His statements had been loaded; not unprecedented at all. He wanted her by his side, and now... he was offering to stay by hers.

"Oh..oh… I-I… I think you know my answer already… I t-told you before," she sputtered, hiding her face in the back of his shoulder.

"As I recall, you said I confused you. So I wanted to be clear."

"I do," she swallowed. "I do want you. Nothing has changed."

"Do you remember my promise?"

_Oh,_ Petra blinked, the foggy memories of last night coming back to her. _His promise… that he… he wanted to… to make me happy…_ her blush deepened again as she realized this had actually happened; it was true.

"...yes… I remember now…"

"Against my better judgment… I want to keep that promise. If having me is what will make you happy, then I'm yours."

"A-Ah... I'd like that, Levi. More than anything," she smiled through her flushed cheeks, tightening her arms to give him a real hug, inhaling the familiar scent of him she had grown so fond of and finding comfort in the even rhythm of his breathing.

He let her hold onto him for a long moment before continuing on.

"But," Levi began, eyes focused on the three figures far up ahead, "I need to tell you up front. What happens between us must stay strictly _between us_. There's not much I can give you; I can't even guarantee we will have much time. And I will not favor you in any way over the squad."

Petra nodded in understanding.

"Anything with you is fine," she breathed, her chin resting on his shoulder as she closed her eyes.

"Mm…" Levi trailed off, seeming lost in the moment for a second before continuing on. "I just don't want you to forget. As soldiers, we serve a higher cause. Our first priority is always towards that."

"The Survey Corps is larger than life. I am proud of that."

"And Petra, you should know that I don't… ugh," he scowled. "I don't exactly have experience with this sort of thing. And I don't experience emotions in the way other people do. I'm not like that. I may not be enough for you."

Petra promptly shook her head.

"I know. I know who you are. And I know you better than you think. As my captain, my friend… you already make me happy. The rest will come with time. I… I just want to be with you," she admitted, looking out across the grass plains and wondering if she would stop blushing soon.

"... I see," Levi muttered quietly. "If you really like shitty jokes that much, and watching me kick worthless rookie brats around half the damn time."

Petra laughed at this.

"I'll kick them around with you. I'd love to. And I think you're funny."

"You think I'm funny. Huh. That makes one of us."

"You are though! You're... the person who says the kind of blunt things that other people are all secretly thinking but don't have the guts to actually say. People like me, for instance. So I like it. It's amusing," she giggled, flicking his chest playfully, but was surprised when he winced at this.

"Careful, now," Levi groaned, pushing her hands down away from his chest. It was then that she recalled his injury, the very one she had stitched up. It was probably still sore for him.

"The fuck is this?" He lifted one of Petra's wrists, eyes narrowing at the worn copper bracelet bouncing around on it. "You didn't have this before."

"Oh… Hahah… some drunk guy gave it to me last night. He was nice, but way too clingy. I had to sneak off to get away from him…"

"Fucking hell. I'm coming with you next time," Levi grumbled.

"I don't even like drinking, though. But I can't object to a free bracelet," she waved it in front of his face. He easily tore it off her wrist and held it up, observing it.

"Hey, give that back!" She reached up for it, but he kept it just far enough to prevent her.

"Tch. Looks like shit," he concluded, tossing it casually aside to be swallowed up by the sea of grass.

"Ah! Levi! You jerk," she mumbled, resigned. She couldn't bring herself to feel too annoyed about it; the bracelet really was kind of shitty.

"Relax. I'll get you a better one."

"... still a jerk," she teased, pinching him in the abs.

"Not trying feeling me up again, are you? That didn't turn out so well for us last time," Levi snorted.

"That's because you're a jerk," she reiterated.

"Yes, and you're a tease."

"Perv…"

"Brat… You and your bloody promises got me all tied down now."

"Right where I want you," Petra sighed, contentedly leaning against his back. He may be a jerk, but if he was her jerk... then that was okay. He was a man of his word, and she knew he meant his promise, and everything else he had said. It was enough for her. Crasher's pace was smooth enough that she dozed off tiredly for a few quiet minutes.

"Oi," she finally heard him say, followed by a flick on her forehead. She whimpered irritably in response.

"Not that I mind being your pillow, but I need to catch up with the other three before they start looking back for me," he explained, kicking the mare to a faster pace. "Look alive, soldier."

The strawberry-haired girl loosened her grip in response, assuming a more platonic position. With one fell swoop she was entirely devoted to this man, through and through, personally and professionally. At his side is where she belonged.

"Yes, captain."

* * *

The interior was a stunning sight to behold with fresh eyes. The elaborate architecture, the grand estates, the sprawling mansions, the elegant patrons - a separate society, of sorts, seemingly detached from reality. Living a life of overwhelming luxury.

_All while we see poor people starving on the streets of Trost everyday,_ Petra thought sickeningly. There were a few people gathered around their line of horses, talking amongst themselves about the rumors of the bold Commander Erwin and the ruthless Lance Corporal, the strongest of them all. _Humanity's strongest soldier_, she kept hearing in hushed voices. Hanji was right; some of them really did look enamored by her captain.

But there were others who looked down from their windows disapprovingly, clicking their tongues and shaking their heads as the line of horses made way through the inner city.

The air in this city was thick, suffocating; every bit as stuffy as its inhabitants. She was beginning to understand why her captain didn't like this place; the very air felt poisoned, somehow, and there was an underlying feeling that something here wasn't quite right. Though odorless, and practically spotless, the city seemed to reek of moral decay.

Her eyes fell upon a rough-looking blonde man who looked out of place in the thin crowd, and when his eyes met hers she felt her skin crawl. Then she noticed his tan jacket, the familiar purple unicorn embroidered on the chest, and she quickly averted her eyes, appearing suddenly very interested in the broad, familiar wings of freedom sprawled across the green fabric clinging to Levi's back.

_Shit… I probably wasn't supposed to make eye contact with one of them,_ her fingers twitched subconsciously, and she could almost hear the Lance Corporal's scoff in her mind.

_Well then… this should be fun,_ Petra thought with a grimace.

* * *

**So much dialogue writing ._.**

**Lol sooo I was tempted in the beginning to just make Petra bust in and be all like I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE**

**kekekekeke…. I'm sure you all wouldn't have been amused though XD hahahaha**

**Anyway tried to make this chapter kinda fun n sweet before things get serious. ON ANOTHER NOTE, I'll be revamping some of the older chapters slightly before posting any new ones, just to maintain some consistency in this story in certain places. I might add or tweak a few scenes, idk yet, but it shouldn't change the story too much - just adding to the overall storyline and sort of unify it and stuff, yeah.**

**Thank you everyone for AMAZING reviews and follows and faves! :D I appreciate the enthusiasm for this story, all you Rivetra shippers and general SNK fans are awesome! Don't forget to drop a review if you like this chapter, or just wanna say something. More updates coming soon~**


	14. Strangers

**Note: slightly stronger language than usual in this chapter**

**CH 14: Strangers**

* * *

The black beast halted with a gentle tug on the leather reins. A few feet ahead, Commander Erwin dismounted to talk to a group of Military Police leaders that had come out to receive them. Pompous banners of the purple unicorn emblem adorned the headquarters building just ahead, moving lazily in the dead wind. There was hardly ever a decent breeze in this stuffy hellhole. The Lance Corporal huffed, boredly taking a glance around at the overdone grandeur of the inner city.

Levi could feel his subordinate's eyes burning a hole in his back, her hands balled into weak fists at his side. The acute anxiety he felt from Petra was palpable, in stark contrast with her usual calm-and-collected demeanor she exhibited when outside the walls on missions.

_Hmph… this won't do,_ the raven-haired corporal bit back an exasperated sigh.

"They're harmless as long as you don't meddle in their affairs," he explained under his breath, hoping to ease some of her tension. "A lot of them have high respect for us, as the elite of the Survey Corps."

"Ah... But what you and Erd said about-"

"Make no mistake, they are not your friends. We meant that. But they aren't your enemies either, unless you make them so."

"I see," was her only response.

"Oi, get off my horse. We're here."

The comfortable, gentle press of her arms against his torso faded as she unwound them and slid off. He silently admitted to himself he would miss the warmth of her body pressed behind his, and the affection of the small arms wrapped around him for support.

"You forgot to mention we're staying with them, captain..." Petra's voice came quietly as her amber eyes scanned the impressive building up ahead.

Levi dropped down in front of her in one smooth motion, throwing a quick, unimpressed look over his shoulder at the same familiar building, illuminated in a vibrant orange glow by the evening sun. His brows pressed subtly and his signature scowl graced his features.

"Central MP headquarters is more luxurious than ours," he remarked boredly while loosening the saddle on his mare. "Half the damn bastards don't know how to keep it clean properly though.. tch…"

The strawberry-blonde soldier only frowned, her eyes unmoving from their fixation on the looming structure. "Something feels wrong here… in the air... it feels off," she mused.

The scowl on the captain's face deepened, his eyes narrowing to give her a sidelong glance. "Ugh. Just stay by my side, Ral. It looks like I'll have to keep an eye on you," he deadpanned, sidestepping into her line of vision so she would be forced to look at him instead of the shitty MP headquarters.

Petra seemed to catch on to his meaning; he meant it literally this time, not just figuratively. She cocked her head. "Huh? Why, if I may ask, sir?"

Levi imitated the tilt of her head, eyes boring into hers. "I have to make sure you won't do anything stupid. You're like a damn open book right now. I know what you're thinking."

At this her expression changed, softening into a pensive yet affectionate look. "Captain…" her eyes fell to the floor. "You couldn't possibly know what I'm thinking."

"Oh but I do," he lied gruffly, in no mood to decipher all her subtleties. Sometimes her tendency to beat around the bush at matters really wore on his patience… as if she didn't trust him enough on a personal level to share her thoughts in a straightforward manner. Had she already forgotten he had just all but foolishly pledged himself to her? Had that done nothing to chip away from the barriers she put up against him at times like these? He shook the irritated thoughts from his head, resolving to cast it aside until later.

"Oi shitty glasses!" he called at the brunette dismounting a few feet ahead.

"Mm?" The eccentric scientist responded, doubling back to approach the two. "How's it going shorty? Or shall I say shorties," she threw a look at Petra, "ha. Weren't you a lucky man to find a cute little subordinate even shorter than you, and be able to drag her along-"

Levi interrupted her rambling with a sharp flick on the forehead, his expression thoroughly unamused. "What kind of praise is he wiping their assholes with this time?" He tilted his head to gesture towards their tall blonde commander up ahead.

Hanji grumbled about the short corporal being an ass and rubbed her forehead before continuing on. "Something good, apparently. They're giving us quarters in the East Wing this time, which is located conveniently next to the science library!" She squealed excitedly in a high pitch, to which Levi winced. He gripped the dark mare's reins and began to lead her to the nearby stable, with the exuberant brunette doing likewise beside him, muttering excitedly to herself about all the research she would accomplish. Petra trailed silently behind him.

"Great, so you'll be out of my hair for the week," he declared. "This week is looking slightly less shitty than usual."

"Oh that it is~" Hanji practically sang the words as she tied up her mare to a post. "Petra, darling, you'll be staying with me. The meeting isn't until tomorrow morning so we have time to spare. My stuff's all up here," she flicked her thumb towards the large pack resting on her mare's back. "Could you bring it up for me? Thank ya!" She ruffled Petra's hair roughly and scampered away before the girl could so much as open her mouth.

"Wha? Squad Leader!" Petra called out, to no one, for the squad leader was already long gone. She seemed to realize this and grumbled to herself. "Didn't leave me much of a choice huh…" she sighed, running her fingers through her hair to fix it. A mess of hair adorned her head.

Levi blinked, his scowl returning as he muttered irritably under his breath about his subordinate not being one of Hanji's spineless fucking assistants. As Petra fixed her messy copper hair, he untied Hanji's stuff and pulled it down, then proceeded to shove it gracelessly into his soldier's arms. She made a soft 'mmph' noise as she staggered back a step, shifting to accommodate the unexpected weight of the load, her face scrunching up in a troubled expression.

"Gahh," she breathed out involuntarily, struggling for a moment and biting her lip in concentration.

"You're cute as fuck when you get all flustered and shit like that, you know," Levi muttered absently, dumping Petra's own small pack on top of Hanji's.

"Eee!" Petra staggered back again, too focused to properly respond. The impassive corporal watched, amused, as she stumbled to the nearby bench and put the load down, wringing out her arms. "You can do this, Petra," she mumbled to herself.

"If I were you I'd avoid her for now, before she starts calling you Moblit. Then you'll really be doomed to be her dog," he pointed out.

The honey-haired soldier laughed at this, turning to face him with an apologetic smile. "That sounds like a good plan, captain."

"I need to meet with Erwin once he's done sucking ass over there. You needn't be there…" Levi frowned, trailing off.

_If you want her to trust you on a deeper level, perhaps you must trust her first…_

"...you have the rest of the day off," he added slowly, effectively discarding his earlier statement. "Remember… don't be an idiot."

"I wouldn't dream of it, sir!" Petra beamed, proudly saluting him even though nobody was about.

Levi narrowed his eyes. "I'll take care of these two. You're free to go," he waved her off casually, grabbing the reins of the two horses on either side of him.

"Thank you, by the way…" Petra's voice came suddenly from close beside him, and he wrinkled a brow before meeting the intense fire in her honey eyes that never failed to leave him utterly vulnerable to her. She fluttered them closed and pressed her lips lightly to his cheek, lingering for a moment as his breath caught at the soft sensation. "...for everything, Levi," she added, a whisper against his cheekbone.

"Mm. Bloody hell, Petra..." he grunted awkwardly, unsure how to accept such a sweet gesture, looking her over again through half-lidded eyes. With a sly grin, probably knowing that that was as close as she would get to hearing a 'you're welcome,' she went over to the bench and hoisted up the mountain of supplies again, hurrying off to transport them.

Petra was like a damn ball of sunshine, Levi couldn't help but think as he watched her disappear, the wings of freedom rippling on her green cloak. Her presence alone made things brighter wherever she went. Even this shitty-ass place. Even after all she had witnessed outside the walls.

He still felt awkward, in a way, about trying to define the line between when he was strictly her captain and when he was… well, whatever he was to her. He could hardly believe how deeply she had managed to penetrate the very walls he put up to prevent these sort of close relationships. Nobody was ever supposed to get this close to him, but fucking Petra had to come along, and now he foolishly wanted to her to stay by his side. She broke all the rules when it came to him, and was slowly making him break all his rules too, and he was just fucking letting it happen. More than just letting it, honestly… here he was making shitty promises about things like happiness just because some stupidly hopeful part of him believed he could make her happy, and wanted to do whatever the fuck it took towards that end.

Things came easily with Petra, though. When she was around, he always felt calmer, and whenever she looked at him with those damn fiery eyes of hers, he felt like he was king of the fucking world or some shit. As if he were really the hero she admired him as. The girl knew how to relax and be quiet, and even when she was talking a lot he never seemed to mind the words that spilled out in her silky, kind voice. She wasn't obnoxious, and she wasn't an idiot, either. She was cute as shit and unbelievably sweet. Somehow… she understood him in a way he didn't even know was possible. Somehow she had gotten him all unraveled and was weaving in her threads with his; irreversibly becoming tangled up in his inner workings. Perhaps whatever they had could truly work out, he allowed himself to think for a moment as he hung up his mare's tack.

Now that Levi had gotten a real glimpse of sunshine, he didn't think he would ever be able to willingly going back to living under the dreary fog of gloomy clouds.

* * *

"_Petra?_" A female voice called out from behind the struggling Survey Corps soldier. The voice sounded unexpectedly familiar, causing a startled Petra to trip on the last step, scattering the mammoth-sized load she had been hauling up.

"Oh my! I am so sorry, I didn't intend to startle you!"

Petra turned her head, a look of surprise registering across her face as she recognized the girl who was rushing up the stairs to come to her aid.

"Hellen? Is that really you? I haven't seen you since-"

"Since the day we chose different paths," the lean golden blonde remarked softly with a gentle smile. She bent over, gracefully retrieving the scattered objects. The purple unicorn symbol adorned her similar tan jacket, reminding Petra of how different their lives were from each other now.

"Yes... I remember..." Petra trailed off thoughtfully, recalling vividly their falling out from three years ago. They had been close friends in the struggle that was their trainee years; they had both graduated in the top ten of their class - Petra in third and Hellen at tenth. But Petra had caused quite an upset by being the only one among the top graduates to pledge herself to the Survey Corps over the Military Police; her decision had jarred more than a few of her peers at the time. Even so, she never regretted the whim which had compelled her to brandish the proud wings of freedom over the roses or the unicorns.

"I can help you carry this," the cheerful blonde piped with a smile, taking on a share of the burden. "I never expected to see you here! Where are you staying?"

"East Wing. I'm here with Commander Erwin on official business. It should be... interesting," Petra said lightly with a playful grin.

"_Interesting,_" Hellen giggled. "You're still the same silly girl I remember. Hey, after we drop this off I'll show you around! We have so much catching up to do!"

"Of course... I'd love to catch up," Petra remarked happily, genuinely glad to have found an old friend in such an unlikely place.

* * *

_The weird vibe here hasn't worn off_, Petra thought to herself with a frown.

"And here's the main street under my squad's jurisdiction," Hellen proclaimed proudly, gesturing to the wide market street. Unlike the markets of trost, the shops were all inside rather than out on the road; they all had their own building for their store. "I got to get off work early today because I got some anxious recruits to cover the rest of my shift," she flashed a devilish smile.

"Mhm," Petra affirmed absently, her eyes still scanning the area intently. Well-dressed citizens strolled, almost aimlessly, between shops. There was no sense of urgency here; only trivial exchanges and pretty dresses.

This could have been her life if only she had chosen differently back then; Petra didn't doubt that Hellen probably owned more than a few pretty dresses to wear on her days off; of which she likely got more of than anyone in the Scouts. Petra resented it, truthfully, but not for the reason one would think - she resented that the most talented trainees, the most capable, often pledged themselves to a shallow, comfortable, trivial life in the interior over a meaningful one fighting for humanity's freedom. She resented that while she had had to watch friends die, soldiers even more capable than her had let themselves waste away, careless, in this rotten place. Her excitement at reuniting with her old friend was waning as she was beginning to notice how shallow the girl still was; Petra had been the same way, of course, back before becoming a full-fledged soldier, but she had matured so much in her few years, whereas her friend, well… it had been a long few years and honestly, they were practically strangers now.

"It's been nice, Hellen, but I think perhaps I should go check on my captain," Petra offered, hoping to get back to his side soon, even if it meant sitting through mundane procedures with him. Even so, she preferred his company to this crowd.

"Don't be silly! The nightlife is about to begin, hehe~" the peppy blonde exclaimed, grabbing her friend's hand and forcing her on. "Plus, well," her face fell, suddenly looking serious as she pulled Petra into a quieter alley. She faced her, shoulder pressed against a brick wall around the side of a shop. "I wanted to ask you how my brother's doing," she frowned. "... he doesn't write to me anymore…"

Petra noted the change in the girl's demeanor; the low tone of her voice and troubled gleam of her eyes. Hellen had been so close to her twin brother, Petra remembered. But Hardin, the tall blonde man, had graduated just below the cut-off for joining the police; 11th in the class, and he had opted for the Wings over the Roses. He had been almost like a brother to Petra too during their years as recruits, but they had gone in different directions at the Survey Corps, though both were in elite squads now. Though they were no longer close, Petra still kept in touch with him - enough to know why he no longer wrote to his sister. However, she couldn't just divulge all this; it wasn't her place to come between siblings.

"He is well. Alive, and active. He constantly exceeds his expectations as a soldier out on the field; he is very skilled at what he does," Petra said cautiously, treading lightly. The blonde girl's frown only deepened.

"The last letter he wrote to me… it was troubling," Hellen looked up, an odd edge to her tone that Petra couldn't quite place. "Well, fuck it, anyways. How are our old friends from our class? The few ones who joined the Scouts as well?"

"Ahh.." Petra looked up at the hazy moon, the stars barely visible yet in the darkening dusk. "Hellen, they all graciously performed their duties… they gave their lives to humanity. It's only Hardin and I left from our graduating class," she frowned, recalling each of their faces, their voices, their little quirks. Some of them were the first among many friends she would see perish; the first ones were the worst, before she became hardened and more distant.

"Oh," Hellen swallowed hard, looking away. Petra felt for her at that moment; she had never truly experienced the pain of loss, and it looked like she was recoiling from the sting, the harsh slap of reality to her face. It was a nasty burden to bear; one that Petra wouldn't wish upon anyone, no matter what.

"Hey," Petra began, resolving to lighten the mood, "I ran into some of them who pledged the garrison last night though. Remember Trent and Tiffany from our class?"

"Why, yes," the tall blonde's face picked up at this, the corners of her lips curving up ever so slightly. "They were always hilarious! Of course I remember them."

The honey-blonde soldier flashed a wicked grin. "See, I went into this bar for *a* drink, but then they found me, and you know them," she giggled. "Somehow I ended up flat drunk, ugh! Bad life choice, but fun night," she recalled fondly. What she didn't add was that hanging out with her old acquaintances hadn't even been the best part… not over finally making things okay again between her and Levi, and his blunt words and remarkable patience with her. She would chose snuggling against him in the warmth of his body heat and a single candle anyday over socializing in a rowdy, stuffy bar. Above all that was what really had made her night...

"Sounds fun, you're even blushing… I won't even ask," Hellen poked her cheek playfully. "Still as adorable as ever, Pet. I want to introduce you to someone; I think you'll like him. Wait here for a sec?"

"Sure… I guess…" Petra trailed off, watching her friend disappear around the corner. The sky had finished darkening by now, but the stars still weren't very visible behind all the vibrant street lights. She bit her lip, peaking out from the alley at a slew of unfamiliar faces going about their business in this unfamiliar street. She leaned against the corner of the building, crossing her arms and trying to look casual; she could feel herself getting some looks based off the broad wings emblem on her jacket and cloak. It was unusual for Survey Corps soldiers to be seen around these parts, evidently, and she found herself recalling Levi and Hanji's conversation with her earlier about the complicated politics here.

_Captain would surely question my judgment if he saw me here now…_ she frowned. _That was stupid of me, after all. I shouldn't have let her go off on her own to find someone while I don't know where the hell I am._

A few minutes passed, and Petra resisted the urge to start snapping her head around and looking for her vanished friend. She didn't want to appear as if she were lost or concerned - but the looks she was getting were starting to become more blatant, and she could definitely hear hushed whispers of passerby's and a few 'tsk's. One little boy of about 11 years or so, however, gave her a wide smile as he passed by.

"I can't believe it! A real live titan slayer! You look so cool," he exclaimed, stopping to salute her even in his finely pressed silk shirt. He had the salute backwards, but she still appreciated the gesture.

"Thank you, sir! We salute with our fist over the left of our chest, because that's where the heart is, you see. Like this," Petra saluted him properly in return, offering a bright smile.

"I-I knew that!" He insisted, quickly switching his arms to the proper placement.

The petite soldier brought her hands up to stifle her giggle. The moment was short lived; hardly a beat later she staggered back as someone brushed harshly into her. In an instant rough hands pinned her to the wall and she was face-to-face with an angry raven-haired man.

He wasn't any man she recognized, however; he towered over her.

"Think you're the shit, huh? What's a Survey Corps cunt like you doing in the interior? Aren't you supposed to be out feeding your sorry ass to titans?" The man's deep, throaty voice rang out only inches from her face. Petra instinctively cringed away against the wall, a grimace forming as she could practically taste the putrid cigarette smoke of his breath. The young boy uttered a surprisingly vulgar string of expletives, and from Petra's peripheral vision she saw him scamper out of sight.

The lone soldier gritted her teeth, trying to stand up taller and remain calm. With any luck she wouldn't have to resort to violence.

"With all due respect, that is no business of yours. If you could please take a few steps back, sir," she asserted, mustering up all the fire in her eyes.

"A few steps back, eh?" The man growled, pushing her into the shadow of the alley. "Say, how many tax dollars would us respectable folk save if your precious little cunt were to mysteriously go missing?"

Immediately Petra assumed a defensive stance, her mind already alive and into survival mode. "Sir," she asserted again, her eyes darkening. "I do not want to resort to violence here and make a scene. Please desist and let me be."

_Where in all hells did Hellen go? Goddammit… this is her job, not mine._

"A fiesty little bitch too, are we. I'm gonna do my hard-working friends a favor," he spat, his tall, strong figure lunging towards the much smaller soldier. Petra agilely side-stepped and dodged, her eyes already flicking to the nearby bustling street and judging the distance. If she could just get past him and onto the busy street, surely he'd have to stop…

_What would Captain Levi do? Ah…_ she grimaced, dancing around another clumsy lunge. _He would probably kick the man's ass to a bloody pulp. But I don't want to do that here; this isn't my city and I don't want to make the regiment look bad._

The man barreled into her again, just as she was edging closer to the light of the main street, and this time her dodging was a beat late; she got struck in the shoulder enough to slam her slim frame against the wall. Next thing she knew a fist met her abdomen, and she cried out, tasting blood in her mouth and for a moment seeing stars in the corners of her vision, the air all escaped from her lungs. She heard a cruel laugh escape her tormentor's lips as a large, calloused hand covered her mouth.

Instinct kicked in and Petra recovered in an instant, retaliating with a bite to the rough hand. The man yelped with a cry of surprise and a few choice words while aiming another punch towards her gut, which she dodged just in time, refilling her aching lungs with much-needed air. She quickly deduced she didn't have the strength to take him down through brute force, but she could use his size against him to gain the upper hand.

_Shit… he is dangerous. I'll have to fight him in earnest._

Her lower center of gravity helped her easily dodge the next few hits, and she made sure to focus this time, studying his pattern. He was strong but swung too wildly and was slow to recover. The next time he lunged she made her move, delivering a sharp kick behind his knees, sending him sprawling on his back, hitting the ground in his presumably expensive attire. Without wasting a second Petra promptly delivered another kick to his gut.

"Karma's a bitch, huh," she sneered, watching him grunt from the force of the blow. Now she understood why her captain would have kicked his ass in the first place, if he were in this situation…

Suddenly a hand around her ankle made her lose balance, and as she stumbled back the dark figure charged towards her yet again. But hardly a beat later, the figure was tackled by an equally large man, whose tan jacket bore the familiar purple unicorn. Petra never thought she would be so glad to see the Military Police.

"Stand down!" Hellen's fierce voice rang out, a gun in her hand aimed at the man. Behind her, a crowd from the street had begun to gather around, peering curiously into the narrow alley. The dark-haired man snorted and put his hands up, allowing Hellen's burly blonde comrade to cuff the man's arms behind his back.

"Petra! I'm so sorry!" The girl called out, rushing over and tucking her gun away. She threw an arm over Petra's shoulder. "Are you okay? I'm such an idiot, leaving you out here and-"

"I'm fine," Petra insisted weakly, straightening herself up and pushing off the wall. "I just need-" she doubled over, painfully emptying the contents of her stomach onto the pavement. She continued to retch for a series of excrutiatingly long moments, utterly unable to speak or even think of anything other than the horrible pain of her stomach. Hellen's voice from beside her sounded incredibly distant as she seemed to call out for help. She thought she heard the dark, knowing laughter of that awful man, as if he were in on some elaborate joke...

_Urgh… this place is messed up… I should have listened… I should have stayed by Captain Levi's side… None of this would have happened..._ Petra lamented before her vision turned to fog and then darkness, her weak figure collapsing amidst a swarm of unfamiliar faces she had been warned not to trust.

* * *

**Ahh poor Petra bby /3 ;-;**

**Hope you guys liked seeing all Levi's feels, he's such a sucker Pet heheheh. Basically why this pairing is my OTP... umm anyone been stalking new SNK content btw? Oh gawds without giving any spoilers Rivetra is so canon as fuck asaksl;dka;ldks;k ah this ship hurts so good. Tbh I don't think it even needs further confirm from Isayama, so much evidence ahhh *shuts up***

**One thing I wanted to point out is that the few OCs I use in this story are not arbitrary; they are all side characters of sorts that will serve a sort of purpose, symbolic or plot-driving, so yeah. Basically anyone whom I have bothered to give a name will be important to the story sooner or later, so pay attention to them because I'm not just sticking people in for the heck of it lol. Every person here is deliberate.**

**In other news, I'm deciding to update this story roughly once a month. I wish I could do more often, but I am extremely busy with tons of work until the summer! I will try to put up an update schedule on my page with specific dates for when I'll update my stories so be sure to look out for that.**

**I'm also, as mentioned before, slowly revamping older parts of this story. So far I've touched up the first and second chapters; one added scene, read it if ya like but it doesn't change the plot or anything, just flows nicer hopefully for new readers :) I'll revamp more before updating next chapter!**

**And lastly thank you so much for all the reviews and support on this story! I mean wow over 110 reviews :D :D You guys are the BEST! I very much appreciate all the little comments and pointers and all; I read and consider all of it and it's great, keep being awesome y'all~~**

**Stay tuned!**


	15. Bystanders

"Ah," Petra exhaled as she sat up, rubbing her foggy head. The room was unfamiliar, and her initial response was utter confusion before the memories came flooding back into her conscious. The man who hated the Survey Corps, the fight, the heavy blow she had sustained… and the police who had intervened and helped, presumably carrying her here. It looked to be some sort of infirmary room, with rows of beds beside her, but it was dark and she was all alone.

Her abdomen still screamed with pain, but despite this she got up and strolled to the window, peering up at the night sky. To her relief, the moon was still rather low in the sky, indicating she hadn't been out for very long; an hour at most.

_I have to find Levi… he's probably pissed… _she frowned, grabbing her cloak and leaving the room. She wondered where everyone had gone off to. From the look of the hallway, she was back at the Military Police headquarters, but with no knowledge of the building she could only wander around aimlessly until she found something familiar, anything, that could indicate she was near the east wing.

After a while of this wandering she eventually stumbled into what must have been the library. High, looming shelves of countless books framed a long narrow table, at the end of which sat a lone figure whose nose was buried in a particularly lengthy volume.

"Squad leader Hanji..?" Petra said, hesitant to speak loudly lest she disturb the scientist's concentration.

"Petra…" the greasy-haired brunette mumbled absently. "Look at what they've done," she traced her finger along a tattered stub of paper on the inside spine of the pages she was on. It was evident that an alarming number of pages had been torn out. A particular symbol etched in pen on the page that was open caught Petra's interest.

"I know that symbol. It's the one that those in the wall cult of the Karanese district use," Petra exclaimed. Having grown up there, it was a familiar sign.

"Ah. That would make sense," Hanji sighed, slamming the volume shut in resignation. _A History of Titans, _the cover read. The whole area was a mess, and Petra was tempted to start organizing it for her; ever since working under her captain, she had become increasingly aware of clutter and always tempted to keep things in neat order, finding she preferred it that way.

_You really do spend too much time with him. His clean-freak compulsiveness is rubbing off on you, it seems, _she told herself, clasping her hands behind her back to stop from touching Hanji's stuff.

"Anyways, what brings you here? Is that old man Levi not paying enough attention to ya?" The Squad Leader inquired.

"Actually, I was looking for him," the honey-blonde explained. "You haven't seen him around have you?"

"Well, he hasn't stopped by the library so no," the scientist said, picking out another book from the disorderly stack next to her.

"Oh. I see," Petra frowned, trying to hide her disappointment. She wasn't looking forward to another round of indefinitely wandering the unfamiliar, maze-like halls.

"Aw. You look worried. I'm sure he's up near the tactics room or something," Hanji waved in the general direction.

"Alright. Thanks, sorry to disturb," Petra said before hurrying out.

She did, still, have to wander around for a while longer, gritting her teeth to ignore the gnawing pain at her core. Luckily, she ran into Mike, who seemed to silently read her need and nodded his head towards the right direction.

Her captain stood at the far end of what must have been the tactics room. It was dark, the candles seeming to have been blown out rather recently; his cross-armed figure was silhouetted only by a thin silver lining of moonlight. He was brooding; she knew as much by his stance, a familiar one to her. He and Erwin must have been intensely debating something, and the outcome was less than pleasing for Levi.

"Captain?" Petra tried.

"It's just me, Petra," the man huffed under his breath in quiet exasperation. He seemed undoubtedly in a sour mood; she had to tread carefully or he'd inflict his snarky, impatient sarcasm upon her in the rudest way possible. She knew better than to try his patience when he was on edge like this.

"I just wanted to see you before I went to bed, Levi," she admitted.

"Where have you been?" He asked, almost sounding disinterested. He hadn't even spared her a glance yet.

_He doesn't know,_ she realized with a start, unsure how to feel about it. _The military police must not have seen the need to tell him his subordinate was attacked. That's odd... does Erwin even know? Surely he would have told Levi if he did though... either way, it's in the past. I shouldn't stress him out needlessly._

"I was just... exploring and got kinda lost. You weren't looking for me, were you?"

Levi huffed again at this, his patience seeming to grow thinner. "No… I don't have time for that shit," he growled in a low, coarse voice while irritably pinching the flesh between his two eyes.

_Honestly he looks like he could use a hug... but would I dare? _She considered, thinking of how he might annoyedly push her away. Some people didn't like being touched when they were irritated; and Levi didn't like being touched in general.

Before she realized it, she was already wrapping her arms around him from behind, looping them around his torso like before, when they had been riding, and leaning her cheek onto his shoulder. Immediately she felt Levi stiffen in response, instinctively flinching away from the unprecedented physical contact.

_He just needs a moment... he'll come around,_ she hoped, tightening her arms and clutching her fingers onto his shirt. Even just holding him seemed to lessen the aching at her core, and erase all the bad memories.

"Oi… why do you clutch onto my shirt like that..." Levi said quietly, his voice oddly strained. He was warming up to her, his weariness becoming increasingly evident.

"It's just a hug... it's my way of needing you…." She breathed back.

"Bloody hell…" Levi grumbled, resigning himself to her embrace and finally relaxing into her touch. He leaned the corner of his head into the wall.

"Holding you… makes me feel so much better…" the honey-blonde mumbled and nuzzled her face deeper into his shoulder; it was remarkable how comforting it felt.

"Not for long, brat. I need to sleep," he interjected half-heartedly, his arms still firmly crossed. She had a feeling he was going to let her stay as long as she wanted.

"Mm…" she winced, a sudden sharp pain jabbing at her insides.

"Is something wrong?"

"Nothing…" she lied. "I just don't like this place very much. It's so different…"

"You will stay by my side now, yes?" He mumbled.

"Always, Levi. Always," Petra affirmed.

"This place is unsavory at best… tch… but as long as you're with me, nobody's gonna do shit," Levi said tiredly, running his thumbs lightly over her fingers.

"Thank you."

"I'm serious, Ral. I have a lot on my mind. I can't afford to have my attention pulled in another direction by you being god knows where in this shitty place."

_He's speaking as my captain again, _she frowned, dropping her arms and taking a step back.

"Captain, you gave me the day off. Did my whereabouts concern you?"

It was the wrong thing to say, evidently.

"I don't fucking get _concerned, _Petra. I thought you'd know better than that, but perhaps not," he scowled irritably, pressing his back to the wall and giving her a cold sidelong glance. "You had the option to stay with me and you chose not to. Then Mike mentioned seeing you with some MP soldiers. Having my subordinate going off with some sketchy-ass crowd does pull my attention, yes. And you say you were _exploring? _Is that how you would put it? Fucking hell, Erd never gave me this much damn trouble. When we were here, he _stuck by me, at all times._"

_So he does get concerned, _Petra mused. His denying it was all the confirmation she needed. Regardless, there was truth to his words, and she felt even worse about the whole day.

"I'll stay by your side, Captain Levi," she reaffirmed strongly, unsure of how else to respond. With his current irritability it was best not to argue back, and she was regrettably in the wrong here. She definitely couldn't tell him about the fight now.

The raven-haired man opened his mouth, as if to say something, but then he closed it. There seemed to be something unspoken lingering in his gaze.

"Listen tomorrow when they talk about the long-distance scouting formation. There are due to be changes. It will affect our next mission," Levi flatlined.

"Of course, sir..." Petra trailed off.

"I'm not angry with you, by the way," he looked away.

"I know. You just want me to be safe. I understand."

She felt a finger tilt up her chin.

"Do you now?" Levi mumbled, impassive but gentle.

"I'll listen. I promise. I'll be by your side... I-I'm yours, too, Levi. Your subordinate, and yours," Petra leaned her forehead against his, fluttering her eyes closed.

"Ugh, it's impossible to stay fucking irritated at the world when you're here," the Lance Corporal groaned, running a hand through his soldier's silky copper hair. For a moment she felt his warm breath ghosting over her lips, as if he were going to kiss her, but then she sensed hesitation, and before she could close the gap herself he pulled his face back.

"Find me first thing in the morning, Ral. Don't leave this building again without me, understood?" His fingers rubbed absently on a strand of her hair.

Petra nodded. "Goodnight, Levi," she said as he finally drew back and walked away.

_Levi needs me to trust him_, she mused, once again fumbling through the halls, this time in an attempt to find her room. Instead she found a small kitchen, so with a weary sigh she decided she'd just make tea and unwind in the cozy looking room for a while.

To her surprise, there was already a kettle of tea beside the stove. Judging from the steady stream of steam still rising from it, it was freshly-made too. Hesitantly, Petra turned around and scanned the room again, slowly. In the dark corner she glimpsed a pair of eyes; startled, she let out an involuntary gasp. The eyes immediately zeroed in on her.

"I apologize if I have startled you," came the deep voice of her Commander, weary but with a hint of amusement.

"Ah- Commander Erwin, sir!" Petra curled her fists, pressing them to her chest and back respectively in a salute.

"At ease, Ral. We're off duty at the moment so there's no need for such formalities. You may help yourself to the tea, by the way," Erwin remarked, taking a sip from his own tea.

"Of course. Thank you," Petra said, pouring and mixing the cinnamon-scented tea. When she turned back around, her eyes more properly adjusted to the low light, she noticed the tall figure slumped next to the commander; Squad Leader Mike was in the room as well, but by the looks of it he had dozed off.

"Long day, huh," the petite soldier remarked with a gentle a smile at them as she leaned against the side of a window.

"Mm. I would rather this tea be scotch, to be honest," Erwin said. "Your captain was rather hard to compromise with, you know. We had to hammer out some last-minute details and he was utterly refusing to budge from his stance," he chuckled dryly. "Infuriatingly blunt and stubborn; that's Levi for you."

"I know how he can be," she sighed. "But I would follow him to the ends of the earth. He's remarkable…" she trailed off quietly, feeling her superior's eyes boring into her.

"Indeed." Erwin took another sip. Petra couldn't help but feel his amusement was only growing; for some reason this irked her. She decided to change the subject.

"Is he..?" She looked over at Mike.

"I'm awake," she heard the tall man mumble without opening his eyes.

"Ah," Petra nodded, taking a sip of tea to hide her surprise. She turned her attention out the window as the two blonde men began conversing quietly. The city from her viewpoint looked almost regal, rendered in the soft glow of moonlight. It hard to believe that a city so elegant could harbor such ominous undercurrents. From five floors up she could see quite an expanse of the well-maintained rooftops and the eye-catching architectural features of some of the buildings. Directly down below was a dimly-lit, secluded alleyway.

After a few minutes the quiet chatter had ceased, and without looking she assumed either one or both of them had left. Her eyes were just beginning to glaze over tiredly when she sensed movement in the corner of her vision. Immediately she was alert, her eyes darting to the alley down below; all was still for a long moment. There was nothing and no one down there, and yet...

She saw movement again; this time several figures coming into view. There were two cloaked figures who appeared to be advancing upon a smaller person. Squinting her eyes, Petra saw the smaller figure was a brunette girl of about her age. Clinging to her legs was toddler. An instant later, the woman was crumpled onto the ground, recoiling from the force of what appeared to be a pretty hefty punch.

_No! Shit! _Petra tensed up, gritting her teeth. What scum would hit a woman with her child? What did these figures want with her? Again the woman's figure crumpled into a heap as she was delivered a sharp kick to her gut. At this Petra's hands instinctively clutched onto her own aching gut, the empathy of the woman's pain all too recent and real. The child was restrained by the taller of the two, the scene quickly escalating into a silent, desperate struggle.

_I have to help them..! _Petra eyed the fire escape ladder near the outside of the window, silently begging her captain for forgiveness for what she was about to do, in direct opposition of his orders. The thought was enough to give her a moments hesitation - Levi would not forgive her if she did this. But she would never forgive herself if she allowed this to go on and those helpless victims wound up violently murdered while she looked on, doing nothing to stop it. Fingering the army pocket knife she kept in her pocket at all time, she curled her fingers on the ledge and was about to hoist herself over and out onto the fire escape when a newcomer to the scene made her pause.

The familiar unicorn emblem across this figure's cloak came as a sharp relief; Petra allowed her grip on the ledge to slacken, although her muscles remained tense. The violence had abruptly stopped with the new figure's presence.

_Why doesn't he have a gun out or something though? _She furrowed her brow, watching the soldier begin to converse with the two cloaked figures. It was hard to read any of the body language from her fifth-floor vantage point, but the soldier seemed to be awfully at ease with the two perpetrators.

Then the soldier lowered his hood, and Petra's eyes widened - it was the tall blonde soldier, the very one who had tackled her attacker. Even from high up she could tell, without a doubt. She watched as he seized the toddler, and did some sort of gesturing towards the criminals - his _allies._

_Dirty bastard! I have to expose his corruption, the MPs need to know that one of their own is compromised, _her fingers tensed again to climb through the window when she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder.

"It's an atrocity, but one that we are powerless to help," came a low, surprisingly calm voice from behind her.

Petra turned, meeting the familiar clear blue eyes.

"Commander Erwin! Sir, with all due respect," she gestured to the scene out the window. "That poor woman… she's helpless… how could they? How could I just stand by and watch this?"

Erwin frowned, sparing only a fleeting glance at the scene before turning back to her.

"It's not ideal, but you must. You must understand. As the Survey Corps, it is not our place to intervene in such affairs."

Petra couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Sir! Surely we have ample proof to attest to blatant corruption! If not us, we will at least refer the matter to the higher authorities to deal with, right?!"

At this the commander shook his head sadly, drawing the blinds over the window to obscure the ongoing scene.

"Private Ral, I must reiterate. It is not our place. There is a certain pecking order here that we must abide by to remain in good standing. Please understand; we must bear this burden so that we may be free to pursue our higher cause. The fate of humanity…"

The baffled honey-blonde soldier looked from the closed window to him in utter disbelief; she was so shocked and sickened and yet… in a terrible way, it seemed to make sense. If what she had heard from others was true, the corruption in the military police ran deep; if the survey corps publicly interfered, it could mean bad things for their regiment. The sickening truth was that they had to turn a blind eye on these things so that they could remain free to fight for humanity's freedom.

_I think I'm going to be sick… I wish I had never discovered this awful truth, _Petra lamented, her thoughts flooded with the helpless woman, left to her own fate. There were plenty of able soldiers around who could give her help, but now Petra knew she would receive none.

"If it makes you feel any better, they will not seriously injure the woman nor her child. Murder is not up their aisle. It is likely she failed to pay off a debt somehow, and now they are… dealing with it in their own way," Erwin's frown deepened. "Regardless, it is not our business. Ral, do you understand?"

"I… I understand. You… I suppose you and my captain must carry a great many of such burdens."

"…"

"Ah! My apologies, commander, forgive my informality."

"It's fine. I have given up everything to get to here. I could have been a husband, a father, a respectable man… I could have been a lot of things, but instead I chose to dedicate myself to where I was needed most."

_He must have given up a relationship to join the military, _Petra concluded. _That must be what he means… so he loved someone? And yet he gave it all up to fight for humanity? Ah.. I've given up so much too, but I couldn't imagine that; I don't think I would be strong enough… to give up someone I love… even if it's the right thing to do…..._

"I guess we've all given up something important to be here," Petra said. At the moment, it meant giving up the right to protect an innocent person for the right to continue protecting the entire human race. There was always a tradeoff; there was always a price to be paid for their decisions.

_I wonder… what price will Levi and I have to pay? Will it be the chance at a relationship, or something else? _her mouth felt dry.

Erwin cleared his throat, setting his empty cup down on the nearby table. Mike had already left and the candles were burning low.

"Regardless, there's no sense to dwell on what could have been," he said. "In a better world… perhaps…" he added in a low mumble, staring at the empty cup but looking as though his gaze was miles away… or perhaps miles in the past, to all the ways his life could have turned out.

"Commander…? Was there someone…?" Petra chanced, her voice now soft and hushed.

The commander's mouth hardened to a straight line and he turned to leave.

"… her name was Marie," he added, quietly.

* * *

_Twenty fucking minutes._

The meeting had been postponed for twenty minutes while they waited for the Commander-in-chief, Darius Zackley, to arrive. This meant a lot of aimlessly standing around outside the double doors.

Levi leaned back against a wall, crossing his arms and grumbling in boredom. He hated wasting his time. Beside him, he couldn't help but notice Petra continue to fidget uncomfortably. Her face looked pale and oddly pained, and she seemed to be fighting the urge to clutch her stomach.

"Oi, what's with that weird look on your face?" The captain narrowed his eyes. She scrunched her face further in response.

"I-ah… Err… C-captain, may I be excused for a minute?"

"… sure," Levi deadpanned. The last thing he needed now was a sick comrade; of course this would happen at such an inopportune moment.

"Wait here now, the meeting's about to commence at any time," Erwin said after the soldier, stopping her in her tracks. Petra spun back around, biting her lip, and nodded gravely.

"Christ Erwin, Ral needs to take a shit or something. Just let her go," Levi sighed in exasperation.

"That's n-not it!" She stammered, her cheeks growing red.

"Ah.. go ahead, but hurry," The commander waved off the mortified-looking young woman. She quickly disappeared from sight.

"Nap time~~" Hanji remarked beside him, propping her elbow up on Levi's head and resting her own head against it. The fact that she of all people had to be taller than him was bullshit.

"Piss off, glasses," the short captain grumbled half-heartedly, not even bothering to shove her off.

This was going to be another long-ass day.

Not soon enough, Commander-in-chief Zackley finally showed up, and Petra returned just in time. The hours crawled by at a sluggish pace as all the nuances were hammered out, beginning with exchanging records of their most recent expedition. It wasn't until the end that the meeting would become relevant to Levi, and he'd have to actively listen and pitch in.

Meanwhile, he found his eyes glazing over at intervals until they finally fell upon his honey-blonde subordinate across the table from him. Her face had remained troubled even though she didn't seem pained anymore. He honestly couldn't understand what what the hell was the matter with her; she had been uncharacteristically somber all morning.

Regardless, she was a better sight than anyone else hunched around the long meeting table. Levi wondered how long he could discreetly stare at her without attracting attention; it was reckless, but he didn't give a shit. The way the light caught her long golden lashes, and how her copper hair seemed to glow... she looked unreal; not for the first time. He found himself recalling how soft and sweet her lips had been and how damn hot it was when her hands had roamed his bare chest… and when her body had melted into his. He didn't think he had the self-control to resist her if he tasted those lips again; this whole unprecedented situation between him and her had him all fucked up in the head. How was he to live up to his foolish vow to make her happy if the truth was he was just an ill-tempered, perverted man?

Did he even care for her the way she cared for him? Or was it lust that drove his actions? … was he no better than those fuckfaced men in the underground who objectified women? He had no way of interpreting the unfamiliar feelings he had; god this whole mess was so damn frustrating.

_What a shitty situation... I'll just be myself until she gets fed up, I suppose. ...I have more pressing matters that need my focus._

When at last she caught him staring, he instinctively curled his lips up to a slight scowl, the disapproval evident in his face as if she had been been the one recklessly staring. Of course, she saw right through this, and gave the tiniest of reassuring smiles. It was an infuriatingly bold move; it was just like her.

_I would cuddle the fuck out of you right now if I could, Ral_, Levi thought grumpily as he rested a cheek on his hand, turning to stare down the currently speaking head of the damn unicorns, Commander Nile Dok. Perhaps if Levi glared hard enough he could burn a hole in the man's head.

Not long after, he banished all thoughts of her from his mind as he cleared his throat, beginning to supplement Erwin's explanation of the plans for their next expedition.

* * *

_Wow... I can't believe they screwed us over like that, _Petra frowned, following her sullen comrades out of the room.

Dinner was a tense affair; her superiors were all quiet and frankly all looked to be varying degrees of pissed off. They had every right to be; the fund appropriation for the Survey Corps would be barely enough to feed the soldiers for the next six months, let alone fund an expedition.

Petra cleared her throat awkwardly, all too aware of the tension around her. Luckily it was only the five of them dining together; if they had had to share dinner with the top military officials who had just screwed them over, it would have been so much worse… salt on the wound, as they say.

On her left, Levi was stabbing things on his plate without actually eating any of it. The food was of a much higher quality than what they were used to, but he still looked disgusted; she knew it had nothing to do with the food, of course.

"Captain, what will we do now?" She dared to inquire.

The angry raven-haired man paused in his food-stabbing, his eyes darkening as he glared at the broccoli on his fork.

"We must resort to less savory methods to get adequate funding, or our asses will practically starve over the winter. Fucking pathetic."

_Less savory methods? What?!_

Hanji let out a dry, humorless chuckle.

"Christ, he makes it sound like we'll be going to the street corner to whore ourselves out… it's none of that, really. Although at the rate we're going that might not be such a terrible idea. Bet these nobles would pay a shit ton for a night with humanity's strongest, eh?" The scientist joked morbidly.

"Fuck you, Hanji," Levi spat, his face looking like he could kill someone. Petra inwardly winced; that joke went a little too far - even Levi had his limits.

The brunette seemed to notice this as well.

"A bad joke, I concede. In all honesty, Ral, what he meant was that we will have to do a few… favors for the nobles, so they will fund us," Hanji explained.

Petra didn't dare ask further as she glanced around at the hardened faces about her. Favors? They were gonna do… _favors?_

They were already resigned to stand by and watch the central police's corruption… what more would they submit to for the better of their regiment? Letting the corruption persist was already questionable, and yet they all seemed used to it; would the motivation of funding be enough to make them partake in such atrocities?

Erwin, Mike, Hanji, Levi… Petra trusted them; they were all dignified individuals… surely they wouldn't stoop to such a level that they would do something immoral for the sake of the Survey Corps…

… would they?

* * *

_**... and so the plot thickens.**_

**(hehehehehheh I've always wanted to say that)**

**Hi all, I'm still around *waves* I apologize for the update coming later than planned; lots of things got in the way! But I finally got this chapter out and the next one should be in a few weeks!  
**

**I'm so happy to hear I have converted some of you to Levi/Petra shippers~~ yes this ship is blissfully heartbreaking and just perfect on so many levels. Hopefully I can keep you guys hooked on them :D**

**For those of you who asked, the Rivetra stuffs I was talking about last time was indeed the V-day art, lol. If you don't know what it is look up Hangeki no Tsubasa Valentine's Class... basically the creators of one of the official SNK games are totally Rivetra shippers XD WOOO! I don't play this game, but based on the art it's pretty clear... anyways,**

**One last thing - the Marie that Erwin refers to isn't the same one who's a recruit from a few chapters back. They're two very different people, lol, not to be confused!**

**Thanks so much for all the support and of course your patience in waiting on this story heheh.**


	16. Insufficient Funds

_Please don't see me_, Petra held her breath, shuffling quietly against the wall in the dark, down the hallway, her gaze fixated on the figures talking in the night air just outside the open doors on the balcony. _Please don't look here... keep talking... don't notice me..._

"Eh?" A voice came from outside. "Who's there?"

_Crap, _Petra grimaced, her eyes flicking to the end corner of the hallway. It was too far off to slip away hastily.

"Petra!" The familiar blonde-haired girl descended upon her. "You should check out the view from this place! It's the best in the building, that's why we hang out here whenever we can," she offered cheerily.

"Hi Hellen," Petra acknowledged with a solemn nod.

"Come hang out with us! Let us give you a taste of the night life~" Hellen stuck her tongue out playfully.

_What? ...what? Is she just not going to acknowledge the fact that I got brutally attacked the last time I went out with her? What the hell?_

The blonde pulled on Petra's wrist, but the copper-haired Survey Corps soldier didn't budge an inch.

"Hellen, I was actually just looking for my captain. His quarters are near here; I have important information to report to him. It's time sensitive," Petra lied.

"Oh," Hellen's face fell, and Petra almost felt sorry for her. Almost. But she couldn't shake her newfound weariness of the girl; the reality that her former best friend was someone she could hardly recognize. "Well, can I at least introduce you? Between you and me, some of my guy friends are pretty damn hot," Hellen smiled devilishly, for a moment looking like her old self.

"...sure," Petra smiled weakly, reluctantly allowing herself to be led out to the balcony. As much as she didn't want to talk to any of them, she figured it might be helpful to be on good terms with them.

The thought was short lived; she regretted it immediately as her eyes fell upon the tall, lanky blonde-haired soldier; the one she knew all too well - the one who had saved her from that nasty man and in the same night conspired with some criminals against a poor woman and her child.

"Hey scoutie chick! I'm Noah," he offered with a grin and a wave. Petra felt sickened, hoping it didn't show on her face.

"Guys, this is one of my best friends, Petra Ral! She's a total badass - she's out slaying titans while you all bums sit around here sippin on beers," Hellen playfully elbowed the tall brunette soldier next to her, grabbing his beer bottle and taking a swig.

The five other soldiers all waved, but were interrupted before they could say anything.

"_Oi_," came the irritated Lance Corporal's deep voice as he stepped outside. "Can you brats be any damn louder?"

A hush fell, and the soldiers, most of them recognizing him, shifted uncomfortably, some of them even saluting out of respect.

"My apologies, sir, I was just introducing Petra to my comrades, then we're all going out to the city for some drinks," Hellen nodded, not entirely unfazed by Levi's cold demeanor.

Levi's gaze fell questioningly on his subordinate; in an instant he seemed to read Petra's reluctance.

"Petra's with me," Levi said coldly, piercing Hellen with an icy glare, as if daring her to object.

"O-of course, sir," the blonde took a step back, saluting the Survey Corps Corporal.

Levi turned his back to leave, and Petra, relieved, was about to follow when Noah spoke up.

"Hey, shorty can come out with us too, why not?" He raised his beer, looking around the group for support. He was met by a few nervous laughs and more uncomfortable shifting as Levi abruptly halted, cocking his head back and narrowing his eyes on the man.

"I don't associate with filth like you," Levi said, spitting in his direction.

"Eh?" Noah frowned, straightening up. "Who the hell are you anyway?"

"Tch. Looks like you're the stupidest out of all your friends."

"Captain…" Petra touched his shoulder lightly. He shrugged her off, taking a step closer to the Military Police soldier.

"Hell, what's your problem, shorty? Tired of running between the big people's legs all day? You need a beer, bro?" Noah taunted, grabbing an unopened bottle and offering it.

Petra winced at this. _This idiot has a death wish, saying that kind of crap to captain..._

Levi took another few steps forward, snatching the drink. He held it in front of Noah's chest, then opened his hand. The loud shattering of glass resonated into the crisp night air as the drink exploded right between the man's feet, splattering his boots and pants without getting hardly a drop on the impassive corporal.

"Hey! What the fuck, man?" Noah jumped back.

"_Oops_," Levi deadpanned. "Looks like my hand slipped."

"Just who the fuck do you think you are?"

"That's Lance Corporal Levi of the Scouting Legion, you idiot," the brunette MP soldier next to him mumbled quietly. At this Noah's expression changed notably into an _oh shit _look.

"Clean it up," Levi commanded, crossing his arms expectantly.

Noah cleared his throat tensely, unmoving.

"Sir - I did not cause this mess; I do not feel I should be the one to clean it up."

"Yes, you did. Now clean it up. I won't ask again."

"No," the man blatantly refused. "Sir, I'm afraid I'm not as close to the ground as you."

In an instant Levi simultaneously yanked the soldier by his collar and brought a shin to his crotch. Noah groaned, surprised, falling to his knees and grabbing between his legs in pain. The back of Levi's heel met the backside of Noah's shoulder, causing him to faceplant forward into the puddle of spilled alcohol.

"That should help you," Levi sneered, using his foot to flip Noah's head to the side, then grinding his shoe into the man's cheek. "Is this close enough to the ground for you?"

"Captain," Petra said again. He had definitely successfully humiliated the man; a few of the soldiers around were already snickering quietly. She was fighting the urge to giggle herself.

Levi gave one last light shove with his foot as Noah muttered curses under his breath, not daring to openly defy the Lance Corporal. Apparently he had enough sense to recognize when he was outranked and outmatched.

"Let's go, Ral. I'll have to wash the filth off these boots now."

Petra trailed her captain as he stepped inside and down the hall. Once they were out of earshot she allowed her giggles to surface.

"Captain… you're the best. He's never gonna live that down, you know."

Levi snorted in amusement before turning to her, his face unreadable in the darkness.

"I was so damn tired after that shitty meeting that I fell asleep in my uniform," he seemed to be grimacing. "Until the racket of those brats woke me up…" he grumbled. "Mike snores like a cow; I'll never go back to fucking sleep now," he rubbed his temples in annoyance.

Petra blinked, unused to hearing her captain complain about anything that wasn't dirt. He always put on an impervious front; but now he seemed to trust her with the increasing glimpses of his humanity. She was caught off guard by it though, and almost didn't know what to say.

"Um, would you like some tea?" She offered lamely.

Levi waved her offer off.

"You're staying with Hanji, right? Where's your room?"

"Up those stairs over there and five doors to the left… why?"

"Mm. Come," he tugged on her hand, leading her up the stairs. He led her into her own room and closed the door, then took the liberty of plopping down on the couch silhouetted by the moonlight pouring in from the lone window. He pulled her hand, a bit forcefully, upsetting her balance and causing her to stagger down beside him.

"Ah! Captain…"

"Were they bothering you?" The raven-haired corporal asked.

"Well…you see, the blonde girl, Hellen, she was a good friend of mine in my trainee days but… she's changed. She still wants to be my friend, but we're two very different people now," Petra frowned. "The system here, it's… you know…" she trailed off, staring at her hands.

"I get it. Let's not talk about it then," Levi shrugged off his jacket, hanging it on the back cushion of the couch.

"Levi… are you sure Hanji won't walk in?" Petra bit her lip. "She's staying here too…"

"Tch. Like hell she is. Have you seen her lately?" He kicked off his boots.

"Hmm.. no, I haven't seen her since the meeting let out a few hours ago."

"Exactly. She's obsessed with that library," Levi explained, tugging at his cravat to untie it. "Believe me, her ass won't be leaving that place any longer than necessary. That's how I knew she wouldn't be here. I bet she didn't even sleep here last night."

"Come to think of it…" Petra tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I don't recall noticing her ever coming in…"

"Well there you go," Levi snorted, pulling the cravat off and casually draping it, untied, around his subordinate's shoulders.

"That's good… just us, then," Petra breathed, becoming unintentionally flustered by the thoughts in her mind as she thought about how she was all alone now… with Captain Levi, in an empty bedroom where nobody else would come. She recalled his body pressed roughly against hers, his tongue ravaging her mouth; it had been overwhelming at the time, but in a way utterly intoxicating as well. There was something damn sexy about him being turned on… something that almost made her want to foolishly try to get him all worked up again. Her fingers unconsciously curled around the ends of his untied cravat around her shoulders as she subtly stole a glance at the man beside her, his eyes half-lidded in a tired daze and arms crossed. She was glad the darkness concealed the flush of her face…

_Levi is way hotter than any of Hellen's friends. He's not very big, but… he's more of a man for sure. And he has this way of making me want him without even trying…_

Levi huffed, his dark gray pupils sliding to the side to meet hers.

"Oi… stop looking at me like you're having dirty thoughts."

"Ah! T-that's not what I was thinking, Levi!" Petra flushed even further, pulling the best not-guilty face she could muster.

"I'm sure," her captain mumbled sarcastically, kicking his legs around to the side of the couch and leaning his head back onto her lap. "Christ, can't a man just sleep?" He reached a hand up, flicking her in the bottom of her nose.

"Hey!" Petra wrinkled her nose. She gently ran her fingers through his clean, surprisingly soft hair; the weight of his head on her lap felt admittedly quite comfortable.

"What did I tell you about touching my damn hair," Levi scowled.

"Well you see, I have this theory," Petra giggled softly, continuing to play with it.

"...Do you now."

"Mhm. I think you secretly enjoy when I run my hands through it like this~"

"Ugh…" Levi squeezed his eyes shut, resigned. "It feels… _so fucking good…"_

"Hehehe… you're so cute sometimes~" the honey blonde commented, quietly, with a fond smile.

"The fuck did you just say to me?" The corporal cracked an eye half-open; even now he managed to be intimidating.

"U-um, nothing!"

"That's what I thought, little girl," he flicked her on the nose again, causing her to recoil. "Bad reflexes, Ral. We'll have to work on that."

"Yes, _captain," _Petra rolled her eyes.

Levi made to flick her again, but this time she dodged the blow.

"Better," he commented approvingly.

"Enough already..!" Petra laughed, digging her fingers deeper into his hair.

"That's it…" he mumbled sleepily, closing his eyes again. "Don't… stop…"

Petra continued to run her hands gently through her captain's soft undercut until he seemed to be asleep. She liked watching him sleep - the slight part of his lips, the lack of tension in his brow, the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest - he was a lot less unpredictable this way. But thoughts of the meeting kept surfacing in her mind; truthfully, she was still burning to find out the meaning of what Hanji and Levi considered _favors _for funding. She doubted it meant going door to door selling cookies for fundraising; the way it had been said sounded a lot more foreboding.

Gradually her eyes wandered the dark room, lit only by the full moon outside, until they fell on Levi's jacket draped beside her.

_Would I dare..? _Petra bit her lip, looking from the jacket to the peacefully sleeping man on her lap. _It's killing me not knowing what we're going to be doing with the rest of our days here… I really should have just asked. But maybe he has some sort of paper about it in his jacket? I know he keeps papers on him from time to time if they're really important… I've seen him pull things out…_

Gingerly, she unwound her hands from the silky dark hair and paused for a moment. No reaction; he was truly asleep, then. Carefully she reached into the jacket, feeling around the pockets. One of them held what she guessed was a pocket knife, and something else that felt like a string. The other pockets on the left side were empty. As her hand slipped over the right pockets, she felt something substantial.

In one smooth motion she pulled it out.

_Oh… it's… it's Isabel's diary, _Petra frowned, suddenly feeling bad about her snooping. There was a page bookmarked, but it was too dark to read anything; not that she would - she felt intrusive enough already. She slipped the notebook back into Levi's jacket.

Listening to the sound of the man's even breathing, it only took a few minutes for her to nod off herself.

* * *

Levi blinked groggily, momentarily disoriented as he stared up at Petra's peaceful sleeping face.

_Why the hell am I lying down on my subordinate's lap?_ … _Why can't I muster up the willpower to move? Urgh…_

The dark-haired man blinked again, hard, as his memories came flooding back into his consciousness.

_Right… Right… this is the shit I've been getting myself into lately. Goddammit._

_Why can't I keep myself away from her?_

_If this is so wrong, why does it feel so fucking right?_

He felt like he would be perfectly content to stare all damn night at the way the moonlight caught the edge of her long lashes, the way she looked so serene with her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted, as if she were innocent of killing and watching others be killed.

As if, in her sleep, she finally got to escape this hell of a world they lived in, to a better world; a world that deserved her.

Levi wondered if he looked like that when he slept. He doubted it. He never had dreams anymore, aside from the rare half-flashback, half-dream of Isabel's severed head tumbling to his feet, her dull eyes still open wide in shock. He hated that dream; but fortunately, it rarely came anymore.

Finally averting his gaze, he caught a glimpse of the clock on the nearby night table. It was almost 5am. Petra could sleep a few more hours, he decided, but now was as good a time as any for him to get up.

The corporal reluctantly sat up and swung his legs to the ground, carefully slipping his untied cravat off the honey-blonde's shoulders and tucking it under his collar. He paused, considering her for a moment, sleeping rather stiffly in her sitting position on the couch. It was because of him, he knew; she hadn't wanted to move him so she'd simply fallen asleep where she was. With a tired sigh, Levi slid his arms under her knees and behind her back, lifting her up with minimal effort; for being one of the military's top titan slayers, she was remarkably light. Her limp head slumped against his shoulder as he carried her over to the bed, setting her down gently like he'd done only a few nights ago when she had drunkenly fallen asleep on him. He pulled the covers over her, gracelessly, and sat down at the edge of the bed beside her still-sleeping form, his fingers moving swiftly in the dark to tie his cravat.

"Mm.. Captain.. Levi.." came a tired mutter.

Levi's eyes shifted to meet the half-opened ones of his subordinate.

"Go back to sleep, Ral," he pinched her cheek lightly.

"Hnn... why don't you... _rub my hair_... til I fall asleep again..." she giggled weakly, her eyes falling shut.

"Oi.. you're an idiot."

"Yes.. Captain Levi… nice.. dreams…" Petra mumbled, her breathing evening out once again.

_You and your fucking cuteness will be the undoing of me, I swear, _Levi grimaced, his thumb lightly tracing over her cheekbone.

So much for being the man who never blows his composure.

Levi got up and slid his jacket on. More than friends and less than a relationship - that's what they were, he supposed. And while they remained soldiers, that was how it would be. He could live with that; he could get used to it, even. She'd quite successfully wormed her way into his cold, icy inner workings, and at this point, it would be more of a bother to fight it than to just let it happen.

Hopefully she had enough in her to endure the stale, steady freeze.

_Can't say I didn't try to deter her. But she's a bloody idiot. A fucking cute one, at that._

The tired Lance Corporal slipped out of the room, down a few hallways and into the small kitchen area. He made himself some shitty coffee and sat idly sipping on it, wondering how many cups he could down before Erwin got his ass up and they could begin their rounds of ass kissing.

Today was going to be such a fun fucking day.

* * *

Petra didn't see much of her captain at all that day; he and Erwin and Mike were out discussing propositions with nobles. Her foreboding feelings had eased for the most part; she trusted them, truly. Whatever they had to do would be reasonable. She had to trust them; she had to believe in her comrades. In a place like this it wouldn't do to be suspicious of her own allies. She felt bad for ever questioning their integrity, even if she had never voiced her doubt.

She passed the hours with Hanji in the library, though Petra quickly found her own isolated corner where she could read peacefully without the squad leader forgetting she wasn't Moblit and ordering her around.

Petra wanted to learn too; she knew so much about the fall of wall Maria and the history of the Survey Corps and all the different ways to incapacitate a titan, but she realized her knowledge of Wall Sina and its inner workings and politics was lacking.

It wasn't until well after the sun had set that Mike came in, telling them both to report to Erwin for instructions.

"I managed to get the Survey Corps onto the guestlist of a sponsorship banquet tomorrow night," Erwin began, while the shorter Lance Corporal stood beside him, arms crossed, staring vacantly at nothing in particular. He looked more exasperated than usual. "The event will be held at Crownpointe Manor; the estate of the Wilhelm family - one of the wealthiest families in Sina. Other wealthy families will be there too. I believe this will give us ample opportunity to sufficiently raise our funding while abiding by our code of ethics. It is a formal event so we'll need to dress appropriately for the occasion. Once we're there we'll spread out and try to converse with as many different people as possible… we need to create a good impression about the Survey Corps to those who don't know much about us."

Hanji and Petra exchanged glances. The scientist shrugged. They both nodded at the commander.

"We'll meet at the front courtyard around seven tomorrow morning. If that's all clear, you're all dismissed for the night."

"Sir!" The two squad leaders and Petra said in unison, saluting.

"Not the worst thing we've had to do for funding," Hanji remarked to Petra with a mischievous smile, rubbing the shorter soldier on the head.

"Hanji," Petra groaned, smoothing her hair out.

"Welp, until then, if anyone needs me you know where I'll be," the scientist waved and departed, trailed by a silent Mike.

Petra shuffled awkwardly, unsure of whether to follow them out or not. Was her captain going to give her additional instructions or…?

He had hardly moved an inch the entire time, his gaze still downcast and glazed over. The honey-haired soldier quietly cleared her throat as Erwin flipped the page on a set of documents he was reading.

At this Levi finally caught her eye, his face a mask of indifference and authority. Distant; untouchable. He slightly tilted his head towards the door, dismissing her as well, before looking away to resume his vacant staring.

She took the hint; she understood, she thought.

_He wants to be alone, I'm sure. He's not much of a people person, and talking all day, especially with these kind of people, can surely make anyone sick of people. _

Her mind wandered to the banquet as she slid into the hallway.

_A formal event… what am I going to wear? Ugh, I didn't come prepared for this. I don't have any nice dresses with me, and I doubt I can afford one at any of the posh boutiques around here._

She bit her lip.

_As much as I hate to ask…_

_I hope Hellen doesn't mind sparing me a favor, _Petra grimaced.

* * *

"This is bullshit," Levi scoffed, roughly pulling the cravat off his neck.

It looked stupid with the goddamn tux. He would have to settle for the white tie; it would match better with his black collared shirt and black suit, and the vest that was the a few shades lighter than the as the suit.

It had been quite a while since he'd had to wear a tie.

"Do you want help with that?" Mike glanced over, watching as Levi tied and re-tied the tie, growing increasingly frustrated. He swore he was doing it right, but it didn't fucking look right. It always came out uneven and shitty.

"No."

"Ok. I'll be outside."

"... I'll catch up to you soon," Levi grumbled. With an annoyed huff he yanked the tie off, hanging it around his neck.

Why was he so shitty at this?

* * *

Petra cocked her head at the small mirror as she finished tying the silky white-ribbon headband on her head. She smoothed her hair out, letting it fall over the headband to cover her ears and frame her face as it usually did.

The uneventful day had gone by so fast; it was almost time for the banquet now. At this point, she just wanted to get it over with. Getting all dolled up wasn't nearly as fun as it used to be, but perhaps that was also because she didn't have to too much enthusiasm about this particular occasion . Snobby rich people weren't really her crowd, but she would have to be all friendly and smiles for the sake of the Survey Corps.

Hanji had already finished getting ready and had slunk off to the library to do some more reading with her extra time. Petra smoothed out the thin ruffled layers framing her dress; the garment went to her knees - it was pure white on the bottom and varying shades of gray around the bust. It was definitely elegant - as it happens Hellen did actually have good taste, and thankfully it fit right. She felt like she was dressed to be a bridesmaid or something though.

A sudden knock on the door caught her attention.

"Come in?"

"Ral," Captain Levi walked in, immediately turning to the couch to lay his suit down. He was dressed formally in a black collared shirt and dark gray formal vest, with a white tie draped untied around his collar. "Would you happen to know how to -" he paused when his eyes fell on her, blinking.

"Captain?" Petra cocked her head.

"You look… good."

"Wha? You think so? It's kind of a last minute thrown together thing.." Petra offered with a shy smile. "Ummm… did you want help with that, Levi?" She walked up to him, poking the tie around his collar.

"….yes."

"Alright… let me see if I remember this one," Petra delicately placed her hands on the end of the silky white tie, feeling the weight of Levi's eyes on her. She remembered; within a few seconds she had it tied; quite well, in her opinion. "There~" She smiled, tucking it into his vest.

"It's good," Levi commented, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "Where did you learn how to do that?"

"Hehe~" Petra teased.

"Petra," he sighed, pulling her left wrist off his tie. "Here," he slipped on an elegant silver-woven bracelet.

"Oh! It's... beautiful.. I, wow, Levi..."

"I told you I would replace that shitty one for you. I do keep my word, you know."

"Thank you…" Petra ran her finger along the bracelet; it looked expensive. The fact that he'd given this to her - that he, Captain Levi, her superior and the man she admired most, had thought about her, sent a fluttering through her chest. "You've been so kind to me lately."

"You were starting to make me look bad," Levi scoffed.

"Huh? How's that?"

"The help with the papers, the cups of tea, the extra cup of coffee… for reasons I can't fathom, you are nicer to me than I deserve… besides…" his fingers traced the faint scar on the palm of her hand, "I have some shit to make up for."

"But… that one wasn't your fault," Petra scrunched her brows together.

"It was, though. I remember. I started to lower Crasher's hoof thinking you were done, which made you slip and cut yourself."

"Oh.."

Levi tugged on her bottom lip and tapped a finger on the small scar on the inside.

"Also my fault. More than a few things to make up for."

Petra pulled back, shaking her head.

"We both have countless scars…" She rested her hand lightly over his chest, where underneath his shirt she knew there was a stitched up scar. "I like to think of them as lessons. They teach us what to do differently in the future. So I wouldn't trade my scars for anything."

"Hm."

"Besides… if we're keeping score, I have more scars from you than just those two," She poked two visible ones on her other wrist and another along her bicep. "These three from sparring matches with you, and others too!"

Levi's eyes followed her pointing fingers as a smug look crossed his face, the corners of his lips pulling up ever so slightly into a smirk.

"Those are all your fault, Ral, not mine. I can't be blamed for when your reflexes are too slow."

Petra rolled her eyes, but didn't fail to notice his inkling of a smile. Even if it was just a tiny smug smirk… she liked the sight of it. She wanted to see more of it.

"Anyways…" She looked around the room to make sure she wasn't missing anything. As much as she didn't want to leave, they had to get this event over with. "Shall we get going?"

"Mm," her captain affirmed, picking up his suit. "Oi, now you better not let any more filthy men put bracelets on your wrist."

Petra let out a laugh.

"Of course not… only you."

In response the raven-haired man pulled a face for a moment; a sort of grimace; Petra swore he looked slightly wounded.

"I'm not filthy," he deadpanned flatly.

"Ah, you're not! That's not what I meant. You're the least filthy person I know," she offered, amused but also trying to make amends.

"I sure as hell better be," Levi grumbled, slinging his tux suit over his shoulder and walking out. Petra followed, her own smirk of amusement secretly growing.

* * *

Petra had never seen a courtyard so elaborate as this one, lit by elegant lamp posts in the hazy dusk. But as she stepped out of their less-than-elegant carriage behind her captain, her eyes immediately zeroed in on two distinct, familiar faces in the mingling crowd of nobles.

_Oh god, _she felt a pang in her stomach; nerves and the familiar dull pain. Again she fixed her eyes onto her captain's back as he muttered something to Erwin. He wasn't wearing any wings of freedom cloak this time, but he still had his familiar shoulders… and his presence still made her feel less apprehensive.

_It will be fine, _Petra told herself. _Captain Levi requested that I stay by his side. I hope he won't mind that I take that advice quite literally tonight._

… _I don't want to be alone in this crowd._

* * *

**Woo I finally got the chance to update :D**

**Thank you all for your patience, I've been trying to get this out for a while but have been so insanely busy, uggh _ The good news is that this chapter actually got split in half, because the second half of it was taking too long to write, so a good portion of the next chapter is already written, lol. It should help me update sooner - but no guarantees because things just keep getting busier around here hahah.**

**There will be lots of epic amazing moments and plot points to look forward to in the next chapter though heheh~ Not to give anything away of course.**

**Hope you all like this chapter, I'll be responding to reviews soon when I have a few minutes to spare~**

**As always I appreciate all the support, reviews, follows etc. You rock, SNK fans :)**


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